Stolen
by Radiorox
Summary: (COMPLETED) Sequel to Adrift But Not Alone (Read that one first). As Harm and Mac try to repair their relationship, many things threaten to keep them apart. When it seems they finally made it, the Video Princess plots her revenge.
1. The End Of Engagement Hell

Hello gang!  
Thanks for all of the feedback for Adrift But Not Alone. I was overwhelmed! Thanks so much. :) This is the sequel, if you have no clue what I am talkng about find Adrift But Not Alone, you gotta read that first, please!

Here goes.... Enjoy!  
Jackie

Title: Stolen  
Author: Jackie  
Summary: Sequel to Adrift But Not Alone (Read that one first). As Harm and Mac try to repair their relationship, many things threaten to keep them apart. When it seems they finally made it, the Video Princess plots her revenge.

Note: I am going to take some creative license and play with the episodes in season 7 to my liking. I am trying not to put anyone in a comatose. ;)

PART 1 – The End Of Engagement Hell

0130 Zulu  
Harm's Apartment  
North of Union Station

"We can't do this now." Harm heard himself tell Mac as she stood in his doorway with an expectant look. When Mac ran after Mic, something Harm damned himself for suggesting, he arrived at home only to be called half an hour later by Mac. 'He's gone. . .he doesn't love me anymore.' Sighing, he had thought long and hard on what he needed, it wasn't Renee, it was Mac. 'Come to me, Mac. . . you know the reason.' And she did, she did know the reason until she knocked on the door to his apartment and her heart was ripped out of her chest, thrown to the floor and trampled over. What did she expect? That he would let her in and all of a sudden things would fall into place? No, that was something out of fairytales and Sarah MacKenzie's life was something out of a nightmare. A nightmare that she lived day in, day out and couldn't quite seem to wake up from.

It wasn't his fault really, Harm was just brought up too well to kick out someone in need and, at the moment, death won over love. Mac glanced inside, noticing Renee sleeping on his couch, she had arrived several minutes earlier in tears over the news that her father had passed. Everything Harm's explanation was practically lost on Mac. The rest she got in pieces, her brain cycling them to make sense. "When you get back. . ." Mac said and they traded looks of sadness. She needed him then, so badly that it hurt. But, he had a responsibility to the woman he was engaged to and that woman wasn't Sarah MacKenzie. His look told her that he was sorry, but there was nothing he could do. So, he closed the door as Mac walked away.

Cover placed neatly on her head, Mac walked out only to be pelted by drops of rain that shielded her tears. Ironic really, she was back out in the water again, but this time, she was alone. Looking through the windows of Harm's apartment, saw him embracing Renee, his hands over her back, soothing away the pain. For a moment, she closed her eyes and imagined that to be her, because, that is where she should have been. Instead, the fates decided to screw with her once again and now she really was alone. In stoic Marine mode, Mac stood there, looking up as the rain washed over her. Her throat burned from the unshed tears, she swallowed the lump and willed herself not to cry. She did enough crying over Mic and wouldn't allow herself to do anymore over Harm. Mac felt Harm's eyes on her, looking at her from above. Before she lost her composure, she turned and ran to her Corvette, driving away from him.

Harm sighed deeply and shook his head. She was gone. 'Why this? Why now?' He wondered. "It's gonna be okay, Renee." Harm said, as he slid out of her embrace and hobbled towards the sofa. His knee was screaming bloody murder from the pain shooting from it. Holding Renee wasn't really helping the situation. "I promise it will be okay."

Renee sniffled and used the Kleenex on the table to wipe her nose. "As long as I have you, it will."

Harm offered her a half-hearted smile. He was too honorable to tell Renee what he really wanted to. How that short phone call with Mac made him realize exactly who and what he wanted. And it wasn't Renee. He needed to tell her, he needed to end things, but now wasn't the time. Harm jumped when he felt Renee's sudden contact on his skin. She was rubbing his leg and not in a comforting way, it was more of a way saved for seduction. "Renee. . ." He said in a warning tone, was she trying to seduce him, now? He was neither in the mood or in the physical health to do much anything straining.

Renee couldn't help the words that came out of her mouth. Annoyance and the fact that she was too vulnerable to care, had her throw as many punches as she could at Harm. She would destroy things between him and Mac, she would find out the truth. "So what were you and Mac planning on doing?" But she didn't back down on caressing Harm. In fact, her hands started wandering up his chest, under his shirt.

"What?" Harm said, raising up both eyebrows in surprise. He stilled her hands, pulling them away and pushing her gently so that she sat on the sofa. "Renee. . . don't do this."

Renee sat up straight and turned to look at him. "I doubt she was coming over to play scrabble." He looked at her like she was crazy and all it did was drive her more. "'We can't do this now. . .' I heard you."

Harm shook his head, happy that nothing else was said. Not that he had anything to hide, if anything Renee had an inkling of an idea about him and Mac. Their relationship was based on friendship and maybe two stolen kisses. "I thought you were asleep."

"Pretending. . . so, was she over here to play doctor and make sure her sailor was okay?" She said in a snarky, sarcastic tone, that made his skin crawl. He was getting sick and tired of her accusations. Yes, he cared for Mac more than a friend. No, he was never closer than that, though he wanted to be.

"Renee, it's been rough these few days, why don't you get some rest, we'll talk in the morning." He said, standing up and pulling at her so that she would rest in his room and give him the space he needed to think. Harm's hand came around her arm and the second that it did, Renee whipped away from him, the movement causing more strain on his aching knee. He nearly stumbled backward, only the sofa stopped him from falling. "Ugh. . ."

"Don't you usher me around!!" Renee yelled, the sound echoing in the apartment and irritating Harm's aching head. "You are MY man, MY fiancé. . .Answer me once and for all. . .Do you have something with her?" She asked as she moved closer to Harm. "Were you going to DO her? Is that it?" She accused, jamming her index finger against his chest. "Have her kiss your scrapes and scratches? Funny, because according to the doctor you may have trouble getting it up." She spat at him, causing Harm to cringe.

Harm was enraged with her accusations, but rather than start an argument, he turned and walked towards his desk. "I'm calling you a cab, I think it's time you left."

Renee made it there first, and took the phone out of the cradle before Harm reached it "Why was she here?"

"That's non of your business." He said, extending his hand so that she could place the phone in it.

"YOU are MY fiancé , I have a right to know why ANOTHER woman, who is supposedly due to be MARRIED has come to MY Fiancé's home." Her voice picked up a few notches higher and angrily, she placed the phone in his palm.

Harm looked down at the phone and then back at Renee, guilt evident in his features. 'He can't get past this thing between us.' Brumby wasn't the only one. "Brumby went back home to Australia."

Renee threw her hands up in the hair and paced. One of her hands shot up to her head, which she rubbed hard, while breaking out in hysterical laughter. "Well great, there go my chances of getting her greedy hands off of you! Not even proposing to you would do that?" Pacing like a madwoman, she moved swiftly about the room. "I mean we could move to Japan and that woman would still have you in her clutches!"

"We're just friends." Harm defended lamely. But, at the moment, he really didn't have the mental capacity to do much more.

Renee stared at him, believing that he was trying to make her feel like a fool. In her mind, she knew everything and she could just picture the kind of affair that Harm and Mac must have had to have him so wrapped up with her. "Just friends. . .Uh huh, with benefits?"

Harm dialed the number for the cab, gave his frequent user number and was told it wouldn't be more than a few minutes. Shutting off the phone, he placed it on the kitchen island and then turned to her. "I'm sorry about your father Renee, I really am, but it's time we do this and save us more heartache."

"Do what?" She shot him an incredulous look.

Harm took a deep breath and let it out slowly. It was now or never. "Break up."

Renee held her jaw so tight, she felt physical pain from her teeth being so clamped together. "So you ARE picking me over her?" When he didn't answer, she made her way towards the sofa and grabbed a bit more Kleenex. "I always knew you two had something... Else you wouldn't be pinning over her like a dog in heat."

It was worthless to try and defend his relationship with Mac, but he had to try. "We have never had anything past friendship."

"But you want more." She accused and when he didn't deny it, she shook her head fiercely. "I was happy you went off flying, because it gave you an opportunity to miss that damned wedding. . .Then you had to become all noble and hurry home WITH HER. . .Tell me something, Harm, you would have stopped that wedding wouldn't you?

"I don't know." He whispered. Harm would have to think about that, did he have what it took to break all of his beliefs and fight for what he wanted the most?

"I know you would have!" She yelled again, throwing the Kleenex box at him, but missing. "This is not OVER. . . You are MY fiancé and WE are going to get MARRIED. . . I am going to get that bitch out of your life once and for all."

Harm shook his head in frustration, why didn't Renee understand that they weren't going anywhere. "Don't call her that!"

"It's fate that we met, fate that we are destined to be together. . . You know that, else you wouldn't have said yes to my proposal." Renee rambled on. "She's available now because Brumby left. . . He'll be back and Mac will be out of your life forever! And we'll be together, because you want to marry me Harm." Her hands came to his body again, moving downward, trying to seduce him into wanting what she believed he really needed.

Harm took a few steps back away from Renee who was starting to scare him. "Damnit, will you listen to yourself? You're talking like a crazy woman."

"That's why you wouldn't talk to me earlier today, when Mac dropped you off from the hospital. . . you were probably too busy trying to think up your next Mac fantasy to want me around." She accused, moving towards Harm, trying to touch him, but he pulled away and backed into the island.

"Renee, I had a headache the size of Texas, I felt like crap and all you wanted to do was talk about Mac. . ." He took a deep breath and shook his head. "She saved my life, if you cared for me so much, you would thank her."

"For ruining us? I don't think so. . ." She said, finally reaching Harm and standing a bit too close to him. "I'll thank her when she is six feet under."

Harm was disgusted at the turn of events. He wanted to help Renee get through her fathers death. He knew better than anyone what it was like to suddenly lose someone you cared for so much. But, he couldn't destroy his own sanity to help Renee out. He wouldn't play that game anymore. The past year between him and the video princes, as Mac had called her, had been something close to torture. The moment things were moving at a nice pace, Renee, would try to push him. He was her 'boy toy', as she called him. A term that he felt disgusted over, but he was too busy grieving for losing Mac to Mic, that he didn't care what Renee did with him. In a way, he had become something like a slave. Now, even though it would be one of the worst times, he would take a stand, he needed to. "Renee, it's over. . . we're over. . . I think it's best that you wait outside for the cab."

"I'll leave, but you are going to pay for hurting me. . . You bastard." Renee yelled and her hand connected with the side of Harm's face, leaving a deep red, stinging mark. With that, she gathered her belongings and left his apartment. "You'll pay Harm. . . you and that little bitch will pay."

Harm watched her car pull away from the building and breathed a sigh of relief. He hoped she would get home alright. He really didn't intend to hurt her, but he wasn't going to let her make accusations about something she didn't understand. Hell, he didn't even understand it. For several minutes he stood at the window looking out, trying to make a decision. Should he go to Mac or should he wait until she came to him? Hoping he was making the right decision, he hurried to the elevator to grab the taxi he had sent for Renee. What would have happened had Renee not been there? Would he and Mac have talked? Would they have hugged? Would they have kissed? Would they have made love? He sighed deeply and closed his eyes as he gave into the thought of having Sarah MacKenzie laying on his bed, her body tangled with his. "Georgetown." He told the driver and settled in for the drive. Harm loved her, and she needed to know that.


	2. Soon, But Not Tonight

Thank you for the reviews, I have laughed very hard at the ones about Renee. Interesting words some people called her, all true though LOL!! I am still sick (nothing new there. :P), but it was my doing, I decided to jump in the pool on Sunday. Though it is warm in Florida, it's not pool weather anymore, esp without a heater. Add to that that my best friend's BF, her brother and her sister-in-law (all of which I hung out with this past weekend) have some sort of cold. But that all together and you'll feel like you are in the 9th circle of hell. . .Ok, that is awfully dramatic, but when I am sick, I am. . . moody, annoying and close to worthless. Throw me in a corner and stick a fork in me. At least, today, I wasn't laying around all day. I went out, to CVS and got more drugs. Woo Hoo! ahem anyway. . . . enough self pity.

Enjoy!

Jackie who is spraying all e-mails with Lysol before sending them out. ;)

PART 2 – Soon, But Not Tonight

0210 Zulu  
Mac's Apartment  
Georgetown

Soaking wet and with a shattered heart, Mac drove home, to an empty apartment that mirrored the emptiness in her heart. Fate was un-relentlessly cruel to her. She felt sorry for Renee and her father's passing. She felt guilt for wishing it had happened on another day. She felt remorse for that spark of hope that came alive when Harm's warm voice invited her into his home. She wasn't sure what would have happened, but still wanted him to comfort her. In turn, she would be able to comfort him and maybe ease some of the pain from their plunge into the Atlantic. What she really wanted to do was to tell him she was sorry for not being more sensitive to his needs. One of those needs being that he had to get away from the reality that she was going off to another man. She felt the pain in the kiss that they shared just a few days prior when a goodbye kiss escaladed to a dangerous level. Sighing, she unlocked her door and looked around for some trace that Mic had relented and returned. There was nothing, it was if their relationship had never happened.

"Alone again." She said, chuckling at the absurdity of it. She looked good for being in her thirties, did her best to stay fit. She fought to not be consumed by her alcoholism and strived to be the best she could be. Then why did she always wind up alone? "Because I am meant to be." Mac said, as she removed the layers of clothing and left them scattered in a trail to her bedroom. At the moment she pitied herself and didn't give a damn at what people would think about it. Stripping completely, she walked into the bathroom and took a good look at the woman staring back at her. The tears she had shed outside of Harm's apartment had left her eyes red. "It wasn't supposed to happen like this. . . I was supposed to be on my honeymoon. . . I was supposed to be happy."

Mac fought hard to keep what was left of her dignity, but eventually her sorrow consumed her and the tears ran freely. Even as she prepared the tub for a hot bath, the tears ran free. She felt so alone, so vulnerable, unlike her Marine counterpart who never broke down. Sarah slid into the tub and closed her eyes letting the hot water have it's soothing effects on her, but not even that would help. "I wish I'd died." She said, referring to a time when life with Joe MacKenzie had gotten so difficult that she longed for an easy way out. A teenaged Sarah made her way to the medicine cabinet and picked up the pain killers her father had been prescribed after a minor accident at work. A handful of the prescriptive went into her mouth followed by glass of vodka. But, when she woke up in the morning, it had all been a dream and the nightmare that was her life would start, once again, with an early morning hang over.

As Mac scrubbed at her skin with rose scented gel, she thought about venturing out into the streets of Georgetown and to the liquor store that she knew was nearby. What would a bottle of vodka cost her these days? Back then, she never paid for her liquor and usually just stole whatever her father would bring home. $20, $30, $50? Hell, with her state of mind, she would easily drop $100 for a bottle. Deep inside, she knew it would be a mistake and throwing away her years of sobriety over a man was foolish. But, it wasn't about one man anymore, this time, she longed to drown away two men. The one that left and the one who remained. Shrugging, Mac finished her bath, got out slowly and started putting on dark colored sweats, something that fit her mood. She grabbed a baseball cap and put it on, there was no need for anyone to recognize her.

Mac searched through her emergency stash of money, grabbed three $20s and then headed out to the living room. She retrieved her keys, did a once over at the apartment and then stopped. For a brief moment, she thought about the consequences and the what ifs that would spring to mind once that strong, clear liquid flowed down her throat and into her veins. She sat down on her sofa and stared into the darkness of her apartment as she hesitated. Right when her decision to drown her sorrows was firmly in place, she heard it. There was a faint knock on the door. Slowly, Mac rose, moved across the room and, without looking out the peephole, opened up.

"Mac." And there he was, as if out of a dream, looking back at her. He was soaking wet, still wearing the same clothes she'd seen him in earlier and still gripping onto the cane so that he could walk. 'It must have been hell for him to climb the stairs outside.' She thought, cringing at how long it must have took him, without help and being rained on. "Mac? Can I come in?" He said, his voice strained and aching.

Mac broke out of her reverie and nodded, holding the door for him to enter. Closing the door behind them, she saw Harm hobble to her sofa and wince as he sat down. "I'm going to go get you a towel." Heading towards the bathroom, she let out a shaky sigh. What would have happened if he hadn't appeared when he did? Still, he was hurt, broken and in no condition to be out and about. "You shouldn't be here." Mac said, handing Harm a towel.

"Renee and I. . . we uh, had a fight." He said, looking at her directly in the eye as he said it.

"Oh." Mac said softly. She wrapped her arms around her body and held on tight. Tears again started fighting their way free and soon, they were running down her cheeks again. "It's my fault isn't it? She thinks. . .you and I, we have. . . something?"

Harm nodded slowly. "It doesn't matter."

"But, she's grieving." Mac couldn't believe he was here. It wasn't in Harm's personality to leave when someone was obviously hurting as much as Renee was. "You should be with your fiancé." Saying those words put a bad taste in her mouth. Fate was a cruel mistress, she deduced, figuring he'd probably felt the same way whenever he would talk about Mic. Did he also feel the same pain in the center of his chest as she did?

Harm sighed and looked away. "We had a fight. . . she said a lot of things. . ." He thought back a moment, out of everything that she said one thing had hurt him the most. '. . . bitch. . .' He shook his head and sighed. "Please don't turn me away. . . I know why I am here."

Mac moved across the room and sat on the coffee table, directly in front of Harm. "Why are you here?"

"For the same reason you came over to my place." He said, hoping that, for once, they were on an even keel. "I care for you, Mac. . .." They locked gazes, both caught under some sort of magic spell. Her eyes held his captive. Wincing slightly from the slight shift in his body, Harm leaned forward capturing her lips with his own.

The kiss was warm and sweet. Mac never thought that Harm's lips would feel this soft against her own. That kiss, the one on the Admiral's porch had left her wanting more. It left her fighting to keep control and remember that she belonged to someone else. She shifted herself forward and slid into the sofa next to Harm. As the kiss deepened, her hands moved up and ran though his hair, his wet silky strands tickling her finger tips. She pulled away from the kiss and looked at Harm as he smiled back at her.

Mac's fingers touched lightly the scrapes and bruises on his face. She frowned at what she saw because she knew he did it for her. He could have died in her arms, as the seas tossed him about. But, something spared him, he was home and he was safe in her arms. Mac felt the tears start to swell again and was pleased when his mouth took hers again, easing away her thoughts. God, how she wanted to make love to him. "We have to stop." Breathlessly she murmured against his lips. "I'll hurt you."

Harm took a deep breath as his hand moved up to cup her face. His thumb stroked her cheek. "Mac, I need you and you won't hurt me." His mouth took hers again and before the kiss escaladed, she broke it off.

"I can't do this tonight, though." Mac said, cursing herself for saying it. There was a reason for it, she just couldn't handle things and add a sexual relationship to the mix. His eyes registered the hurt from her rejection. With a quick kiss, she smiled and assured him. "Soon, but not tonight."

Harm understood that it wasn't just about him. It was about her getting over another man and about her needing to feel loved and safe. He knew he could and would give those to her without question. And he would also give her one more thing, time. "I'll wait, forever if I have to."

"I won't make you wait that long." She said, snuggling towards him, ever careful of his injured knee.

Harm smiled at her gesture and pulled her closer to him, as he whispered. "I won't break, Mac." She resisted for a moment and then let him move his arms around her, holding her against his body. Still, her body was tensed, rigid as he tried his best to soothe the wounds that couldn't be seen. He felt her body shake when the sobs escaped. With each one, he felt desperate.

"Love me." Mac said in a choked voice. Her eyes looked up to his and held his gaze captive. "I just want you to love me. . .to hold me."

"Oh, Sarah." Harm brought his thumb to the side of her face, brushing away the tears. He took a deep breath, gulped down the knot at his throat and spoke from his heart. "I do love you." He said, before his lips came down to hers, giving her a soft kiss, which she returned. This time, it felt right to kiss. This time it wasn't a goodbye, but the start of something which they both needed.

"I'm in love with you." She said in a soft voice, as if speaking out loud would make him vanish from her side. Mac was pleased when she received another kiss before Harm.

They held on to each other, just reveling in the feeling of finally having something that was once just a dream. They broke apart so that Harm could shower and get into some warm clothes which Mac had 'borrowed' and never gave back when she'd forgot to pack overnight clothing during a case. Mac pulled him into bed with her, made sure that he was comfortable before falling asleep safely in his arms.  
--


	3. Why Are You Running Away?

Hey gang! Thanks for the reviews, they've been fun :) This was originaly two parts, but I slammed them together to wrap this part up quickly. Don't be too angry at Mac, she needed some time to herself. :)

Enjoy!  
Jackie

PART 3 – Why Are You Running Away?

Next Day  
1620 Zulu  
JAG Headquarters  
Falls Church, Virginia

"Enter." Admiral AJ Chegwidden called out, as he received message that the Colonel urgently wanted to see him.

Mac walked in, took a deep breath and handed a piece of paper over to her CO. "I was checking the TAD board sir and there is a needed JAG on the USS Guadalcanal. . . They are out in the Indian Ocean now." The night spent in Harm's arms were, somewhat the start of a healing process for Mac. A process that she realized wouldn't come full circle, I she didn't get away. She loved Harm, more than any other man in her life, but she needed time to think, time to herself without worrying about what co-workers would think about her. She needed time to process what had happened between her and Mic and make sure it wouldn't happen to her and Harm. Most of all, she needed him to know that he wasn't the fall back guy, but that every other man she's been with since she met him had been just that.

AJ was shocked by Mac's request. Running his hand over his head, he sank back into his chair and took a look at the paper. "This would be a step back, and with Rabb gone, we're already short one senior attorney."

"With all due respect, sir. I need this opportunity." It was her voice that did AJ in. He knew that Mac wasn't the type to plead, but she seemed about to do just that if he didn't agree. AJ studied her for a moment, her normal Marine demeanor was in check, but it was her eyes that gave her away.

AJ conceded, from his own failed relationships he knew that sometimes people need to get away. "Alright, take the Gunny with you."

"I can take care of myself, sir."

AJ agreed and then grinned. "It's the other Marines I am worried about, dismissed."

Mac came to attention, seemingly relieved. "Aye, sir. . . Thank you, Admiral." She left the office, closed the door and walked through the bullpen, telling Gunny the news.

1700 Zulu  
Mac's Apartment  
Georgetown

"Mac?" Harm called out as he raised himself out of her empty bed. He stayed quiet for a moment, trying to listen for any sounds that she was inside of her apartment, but there were non. Wincing, he slid off the bed and, there, on the nightstand, he saw it. The note was propped up and in big red letters, the front said 'Harm.'

There was that icky feeling in the pit of his stomach as his fingers ran over the note. It couldn't be a good sign. Summoning up courage, he opened it up.

"Harm,

Thank you for coming last night, it means to me more than I am able to express to you. I am sorry what we went through flying home for the wedding. I am sorry that I never told you 'good luck.' Trust me, I'll never do that again.

I am mostly sorry, because, first chance I get, I am leaving Washington for a while. No, I am not following Mic out to Australia. He was right about one thing, I was with him because I didn't want to be alone. Please, if you care for me, even if you don't understand, don't try to stop me. I need to do this.

Take care flyboy.

Mac."

Harm shut his eyes quickly as a wave of vertigo knocked him back onto the bed. "Oh no." He said, as he sat there and read the letter again. There were no 'I love yous.' No mention of the relationship that he wanted from her. 'Don't try to stop me.' He sighed deeply and let out a frustrated groan. "Fine." Harm said, angrily stuffing the note into his pocket and heading out to grab her phone and call for a cab.

One Week Later  
1320 Zulu  
Harm's Apartment  
North of Union Station

Harm grabbed his phone and patched in a call to Mac at the USS Guadalcanal. He'd been pacing for a little over an hour, trying to fight the right words to tell her. He needed to talk to her, he wanted to know what was going on with them. It was now or never.

"Lieutenant Colonel MacKenzie." Mac spoke into the radio, as she descended into the bowels of the Vessel.

Harm had to smile when he heard her voice. He took a deep breath and spoke. "It's Harm."

Mac stopped in mid stride and closed her eyes. She wasn't ready for this, she wasn't ready to talk to him. "Hey."

He frowned at her uninterested tone. Maybe he should have called sooner? "How are you doing?"

"Fine." She told him coldly as she started moving through the ship and towards her quarters.

"You didn't have to run away you know?" He said with a deep sigh. God, why was it so hard?

Annoyed, Mac stopped again and glared at the equipment in her hands with disgust. "Are you calling for something?"

"Why DID you run away?" He asked again, needing some sort of reason for her actions. When she wanted time, he expected maybe a few days or a week. But, this assignment, would likely have her out of the office for months. "I mean, if you needed space, I could have given that to you here."

"I needed time to think. . ." She said, happy to have reached her quarters.

Harm sighed, his voice was flat. "Oh."

"Look, I have to go, I'm pretty busy at the moment." Mac lied, but she needed a reason to let him go. She still couldn't talk to him. Hell, she could barely stand herself for being so weak in the first place.

"Oh, okay. . .Take care Marine."

"You too, bye."

Harm hit the 'off' button on his cordless and looked at it with confusion. What the hell happened and why the hell was it happening to them? "I'll go to her." He said out loud as he stood and dressed in order to meet the review board.

A Few Days Later  
1420 Local  
USS Guadalcanal  
Indian Ocean

Harm sighed for the billionth time since he had stepped into the helo. He couldn't wait to get to the ship and stretch out. More so, he couldn't wait to see her. A lot of things had happened since she had left on the assignment overseas. Harm had met up with the review board and after much scrutiny, managed to keep his wings. Upon his return to JAG, he was happy to see Commander Sturgis Turner, an academy friend of Harm's who was a submariner or bubblehead, as Harm lovingly called him, join the crew. Harm had literally hovered over the Admiral and finally landed as defense to a Marine Major that Mac would be prosecuting against. Finally, he would get to see her.

Once onboard and after meeting with the skipper and his client over the case, Harm headed to Mac's stateroom. When he arrived, he stood outside, watching her work diligently on something. He smiled and a second later, her eyes met his.

"Harm?" Mac was surprised to see him and it was completely evident by her voice. "Wha-what are you doing here?

Harm walked into the small room and placed his cover on the top of the bunk beds. "I'm defense council. . . And I thought we could talk."

Mac turned in her chair and watched him for a moment before it all sunk in. "You asked the admiral to send you out here so we can talk?"

"I missed you." He confessed, coolly leaning against the bunk. "I just wanted to make sure you are okay."

Mac looked at him once more and then turned around, going back to her paperwork. "I'm okay."

"Doesn't look like it to me." He moved across the quarters and stood next to her, his fingers tracing circles on the desk, hoping that she would look up at him.

All Harm received was a sarcasm. "Okay, mom. . .I'll be fine."

Harm sighed. "Are you planning on going after him? Brumby I mean." The question was tentative. He almost expected her to say yes, but instead he got silence and that deer-in-the-headlights look that only Mac could give him. "I don't get it, Mac. When Brumby left you asked for my help."

"I'm handling it." She said smoothly, her eyes still not meeting his own.

Harm snorted at her response. Was that what she called handling it? "Halfway around the world?"

"It seemed like the right thing to do."

Harm studied her again, this time not able to read her eyes. He hated when things came to that. "You're running, Mac. What's going on?"

"Nothing." She answered quickly, standing up and moving a few steps away from Harm. Tension started moving through her body, she knew she was a few steps away from the breaking point.

God, how he wanted just to wrap his arms around her, but it was impossible. He saw her turn away from him and his heart broke. "Let me in. Tell me what you're feeling."

"Pressured. Why are you doing this?" Mac asked, turning around to glare at him. "Because I said I would. . .because I don't want things to move the wrong way because well. . . you have to admit it was a bit awkward the night before you left." Awkward, but wonderful to have her in his arms, even if they were just sleeping. 

Mac rolled her eyes. There was nothing awkward about that night, except that the moment she awoke in his arms, she knew she had to leave. She wanted him, yet, she couldn't be with him. Not yet. "So you are doing this now because, according to you, things were too awkward the other night?"

"Yea, I guess.. . and we never got to talk much..." He added a flyboy smile to try and soothe the situation, it didn't.

"What would we have talked about, Harm? Huh? How many failed relationships we have between us?" Mac's words hurt him. He didn't want to talk about failure, he wanted a future, with her.

"We would have talked about us." But, his comment was too self assured, too much for two people who hadn't exactly come to terms with whatever they had.

"Is there an us?" She asked softly, her voice cracking slightly from the emotion.

"We seemed to be moving in that direction yes."

"You can't determine that over a night when I was vulnerable and not thinking straight." Mac jabbed at his chest and then moved away, leaning against her desk, hoping to God she would be rid of him soon. She couldn't take much more of the conversation, not now. Not when she barely had time to think about them. "Besides, you're engaged."

Harm was hurt. "So when you told me that you loved me? That was bullshit?"

"Yes. . . No. . .I-I don't know." Mac brought her hands to the sides of her head and rubbed circles on her temples.

Harm stepped back a bit, giving them both space to breathe. How did things spiral so far out of control? Why did he bother coming after her? He let out a shaky breath. "What is it that you want from me Mac? If you wanted the words, I've said them to you. . . what more do you want?

"What are you willing to give up to have me?" The question hit Harm like a scud missile. He felt himself falling from the skies and slamming into the ground bellow. "Mic gave up the Navy and his country. . . what are you willing to sacrifice to have me?"

"You're testing me?"

"Well?" She continued to drill him, ripping apart whatever bit of resolve he had left.

Harm hesitated. "I don't understand. What's left to give up?" He had, of course, forgotten that he never actually told Mac that he'd ended it with Renee. 

"Answer the question." Mac drilled once again, hoping that the direct approach would break off the rest of his walls.

"As long as you answer mine." Harm said with his back turned to her.

"I'm so sick of this dance." She shuffled out of the room and down the corridor. 

Harm shouldn't have hesitated, but it was too late. "What do you want me to give up, Mac? My wings? If it means having you. . . you can have them." Turning around, he saw her gone, his shot was blown. Still, he managed to run after her and catch up. "You can't leave it like this, Mac. . . we need to finish talking."

"What makes you think we ever will." She accused and was luckily cut off by Gunny before Harm could answer.

Gunny walked protectively over to Mac. "Sir, Ma'am. . ." He nodded at Harm and turned towards Mac. "The captain would like to see you in two hours."

Mac nodded and gave a half-hearted smiled to Gunny. "I am going to my quarters to take a nap." With that, she turned and walked back to her room.

Harm sighed. "I'm gonna take a swim. Maybe take a header off the bow." Sighing again, he turned and headed off to his own quarters. Unfortunately, even after the case was over, he wouldn't get a chance to see Mac again. Even as he headed towards the helo, Harm searched for her. He didn't want to leave things the way they were, but he had no choice. What he didn't know was that as the helo lifted off, Mac was watching him from Vulture's Row, praying that he returned home safely.


	4. Keep Her Safe

Hey gang! Sorry for the lack of postings. I am still sick, bronchitis to be exact (I was forced to seek medical attention yesterday), and am happily medicated. My entertainment center looks like a pharmacy. Last week sucked, I am hoarse and can't sleep, breathe. . .you know all of the joys of being all blah. Therefore reading/writing. . . not on the top of my to do list. ;)

This I managed to beta between 3 days. I kept falling asleep. Sad that it's a short chappie. I hope I don't lose anyone, if I do, I'll turn around and pick you up. Most of this, if you've seen the first episodes of season 7, will make sense. If you haven't, sorey!  
  
Thanks to: XBlueShadowX, LieutenantjgMegAustin , maidenpride21, froggy0319, Navy Babe, Hieros Gamos, Charmboy4, blonde-brain, Anaika Skywalker, Charmboy4, zeilfanaat, Nikki, jaggurl, achaon, cbw, Manda May, FoxyWombat, Jackia & Jenny, for all the feedback. :)

Enjoy,

Jackie

PART 4 – Keep Her Safe  
1400 Zulu  
American Consulate  
Aceh, Indonesia

"If there's a massacre, Staff Sergeant, as a staff judge advocate, I'm advising you against doing anything that could inflame this situation." It always amused Mac how bad things always seemed to manifest themselves faster than good things. She'd been sent to Indonesia to take custody of a Marine accused of rape. Police Captain was less than willing to negotiate, until Mac thought about trading Mic's engagement ring for the Marine. The case was a tricky one, Corporal Lassiter denied the accusations, suggesting that he was framed. The whole incident had enflamed an already delicate situation in Aceh, bringing a well organized mob to stand just outside of the US Consulate compound. In the end, for all of her bartering, Lassiter admitted that he had, indeed, raped the young woman.

To try and prevent the mob from wrecking the gate, a small group of Marines, along with Gunny and Mac, headed out to secure the locks. The angry mob, seemed to be just that, until rebels in the crowd decided to drop a grenade right in front of the Marines, killing one and injuring another.

The injured Marine, Staff Sergeant Wakefield stood next to Mac. His hands were neatly folded in front of him, his head wrapped with a thin sheet of gauze that covered his injured eyes. He tried to remain stoic for his men, but there wasn't much he could do at the moment but bark out orders. "That's a lawyer talking, ma'am."

"Marine first, lawyer second." Mac insisted. "We both want a safe evacuation."

Wakefield was not pleased by that, but there wasn't too much he could do, but follow 'orders.' "Alright, Colonel. . . I'll have my men continue with evac procedures."

Sighing, Mac took a look around at the US Consulate. The lights were flickering ominously, the chanting outside providing something of a soundtrack to the whole situation. How did something escalate so rapidly? She should have been safe and sound at JAG, but no, she had to leave and now she was stuck in the thick of it.

Standing by Mac, Gunny Galindez stared out the window to view the angry mob. "I can't believe one man caused all of this, ma'am."

"Believe it Gunny. . . It's often that a single man can be the cause of so much trouble." With a sigh, she turned away from the window and headed to find the consulate general, Mr. Raymond Dart. "Sir, how long until you are able to finish evac procedures?"

Stopping his work, he turned to one of his staff members and estimated the time to be, "Around an hour, Colonel." Nodding, she contacted the Guadalcanal, explaining the situation and asked them to keep the helicopters out of sight. "Wouldn't we WANT to keep a helicopter close?"

"If the crowd sees a helo, there's no telling what they'd do."

Wakefield re-entered the room with a corporal close by to help him move. "I'm ordering my men to bring up the machine guns, we'll mount them up on the roof, just in case. We might need to use them after all."

Mac didn't want the blood of a massacre on her hands or the hands of the Marines in the building, but she did agree that the crowd was getting rowdier, if that was even possible. "I concur, staff sergeant." The lights flickered once again, followed by a loud BOOM and the sound of masonry, probably one of the walls of the consulate crashing to the ground.

1703 Zulu  
JAG Headquarters  
Falls Church, Virginia

"Harm?" Looking up from the case he was currently putting the finishing touches on, he was surprised to find Admiral Chegwidden at his door. The attempt to come to attention was waved off and all Harm could think was, 'oh oh' when the Admiral came in with a somber look on his face. "It's about the Colonel. . .Mac and Gunny were sent into the consulate in Aceh to negotiate the return of a Marine accused of rape." Sighing, he brought his arms across his chest. "Apparently the incident inflamed an already intense situation. . . The consulate is now under attack."

Putting down his pen, it took a few seconds for the words to sink in. "I don't understand, Sir? Attack?"

The Admiral nodded softly, "There was an explosion of sorts and reports of injury. . . We don't know anything about Mac or Gunny as yet." How much bad news did he have to dish out in such a short period of time? Weren't they ever going to catch a break? "As soon as information comes in, I'll let you know. . . even if your in court."

"Yes, sir. Thank you, sir." Harm watched the Admiral leave and felt a horrible sense of panic. Out of instinct, he went to grab the phone but quickly halted his movements. This time, there was no one he could call to help out. The hero was striped of his superpowers. The only thing he could do was sit and wait. He sat there for a few minutes, staring at the file in front of him but not able to concentrate on anything but Mac. She should have been home, with him, trying to work out whatever was going on. Maybe that was the problem? Maybe she didn't want to be with him. "Damnit, Mac." He said, angrily, slamming his fist onto the top of the desk.

"Something wrong with the, Colonel, sir?" Lt. Loren Singer asked as she walked, uninvited into Harm's office.

Harm didn't mean to be so snippy with her, but damnit, all he could do was think about Mac hurt or worse. . . dead. "Nothing that concerns you, Lieutenant."

Cocking her head to the side, she waited a few moments for Harm to compose himself. "Sir, the jury is ready, sentencing is set to begin in 20 minutes. . . Lieutenants Roberts and Sims seem to be a bit. . .upset?"

You went off on one of our own, Loren, without necessity. . . I'll meet you there, dismissed." He said, before she had a chance to interject anything else. The case was a disaster, one that they had lost. The only thing left was to hope that he could get an easy sentence. Their client, Lt. Commander Keegan, a SEAL, was accused of killing a man on a commercial jet liner when he believed that the man could have harmed the people aboard the plane. The murdered man, Mr. Summers, had an altercation on the plane with one of the flight attendants, the proceeded to grab at the handle to the plane's sealed door. Keegan, hoping to prevent the deaths of the people on board, rushed at Mr. Summers and ended up snapping his neck. Unfortunately for Harm and Singer's defense, Lt. Harriet Sims, Bud's wife, had been on the flight and saw the scuffle between the two men. She remembered Keegan as some what of a bully, making her a prime witness for the prosecution. Singer, who took her turn interrogating Harriet on the stand, had used information that Harriet had been having nightmares about the baby that she and bud had lost a year prior. Using that information to discredit the witness, Loren practically attacked Harriet, wrecking some of their defense. To compact to the issues of the case, a witness appeared to have seen Keegan drinking at the airport bar before boarding the plane. Harm knew he was going to lose the case, he just hoped to God that sentencing would fare better. Sighing, he stood and headed out of his office, receiving torrid looks from Harriet, Bud and others in the bullpen.

With one more passing thought about Mac, he lifted his head up and let out one shaky breath. "Dad, keep her safe." Walking into the courtroom, he managed to drown his feelings for Mac, he had a client to keep out of Leavenworth.  
--  
XBlue - What is it with them deleting your eee's and ooo's? It's not nice!! Not nice I tell you! Okay, so you are chanting now? Not talking to yerself too are ya? Nothing wrong with that if you are, God knows I have some good convos with myself. (chuckles)

Maiden - No they do not!! Cliffhangers ROCK! They R-O-C-K!!!!

Froggy - Even if I am a shipper, I know you cringed anyway. ;)

NavyBabe - Ain't it the truth?! Harm and Mac putting the FUN in DysFUNctional. ;)

Hieros - It's Harm and Macish, they love to run away when things are somewhat normal. LOL!

Charmboy - I am like DPB?! I can tear them apart, but I can also put them back together. Hahahaa!! ;)

Blonde - Same reason why she pushed him away on the show, she needed to get away from him to think straight.

Anaika - Yea, Renee sucks, but she won't be away for long. ;)


	5. I Rule The Ruins

And feeling the need to be nice (it's the drugs, I swear!!) Here's also  
Part 5. :)  
  
Enjoy  
  
Jackie  
  
PART 5 – I Rule The Ruins

1810 Zulu  
Aceh, Indonesia

There was an eerie silence, or maybe it was just that her head felt like it was filled with cotton. "Lilyana?" Mac said, her ribs aching, her lungs begging for clean air, not the dust they were filled with. "Lilyana?" Wincing, Mac managed to sit up only to feel a sharp pain on her left forearm. It was broken, she knew it was. Holding that arm tightly to her side, she tried to recall what had happened. . .

Lilyana was the name of the little girl that Mac had met the day she arrived to the consulate. The girl had, literally, run into Mac as she was setting up tables for her mother, the 'best cook' around. "You can't be a Marine!" She said, excitedly, looking Mac up and down. "Women cannot be Marines!"

"Well, you've seen one now. I'm Lieutenant Colonel Sarah MacKenzie." Mac had told her brightly, pointing to her oak leaf as reference to her rank. They had exchanged an odd conversation, Mac thought. One that defined the non-existent role that women played in Indonesia and other parts of the world.

Smiling, Lilyana looked up at Mac. "I like your uniform. Maybe someday I will be Marine and order men about. Do you order them about?"

Mac shook her head softly and smiled. "No, these Marines are here to protect the consulate."

Disappointed at the answer, Lilyana sighed. "I understand, it's because you are a woman." And before Mac could interject, the little girl continued on her way.

Smiling at the memory, Mac started to remember. It was that same little girl that had returned to the consulate when it had been attacked. She knew a way out, a passage that she'd used to come into the building when she wanted to run away from home.

As Mac and Gunnery Sergeant Wakefield worked on an exit plan through the passage, Lilyana handed Mac a picture she had drawn with Crayons. "You see, I give you gun too."

"Lilyana, I love it." Mac said, turning her attention away from the people that where evacuating in order to give the little girl the Marine Corps insignia from the Garrison cap. "Now, let's go, we don't have much time." Nearly everyone had evacuated and Mac had given the new coordinates to the Helo. The pickup point would be at the yard of Lilyana's school, just a block away from the consulate. "Hurry."

The passage had been a godsend, leaving them right at the edge of the school yard, with a building they could seek shelter in. As they sat there, Lilyana signed the picture she had drawn for Mac and smiled happily at the Marine. "You are my friend, right?"

"Yes. . .which is why I want you to listen to me. . .Wait in here until we leave and when things calm down, go home to mommy, okay?" Mac tried somewhat of a stern approach, hopefully leaving no room for the girl to argue. Hearing the sounds of the helo overhead, Mac stood and pointed towards the door. "Okay, I want everybody in single file, move quickly, please." Looking down at Lilyana she smiled and gave the girl a hug. "Take care."

"You too, Colonel." The girl watched in awe as her new hero worked on getting the Marines and the staff of the consulate out of the school building and to safety.

For all of the planning and hopes that a new position would help to secure a safe evac, they were still taking on fire, and a lot of it. The staff ran across the yard, with the Marines behind them, giving cover fire to make sure the civilians got out of there safely. Mac and Gunny brought up the rear. "Ma'am give me cover!" He yelled when he saw a young woman go down with a shot in the leg.

Mac was shooting into the darkness, barely seeing anything as she squeezed off two shots. There wasn't any time to think anymore, only to act and protect the group that she somehow became the leader of. "Colonel!" Spinning around, Mac caught sight of Lilyana waving some sort of paper in her hand. "You forgot your picture!"

Mac ran towards the girl, hoping to secure her in the building before they lifted off. "Get in the building!" She yelled, but before she had a chance to reach Lilyana, there was an explosion. The little girl was no where in site.

"Colonel!" Gunny yelled out as he lost site of Mac. Turning to the helo crew he gave instructions. "Get out of here, have the other helo standing by, we aren't leaving the Colonel behind."

Mac moved quickly, jumping over a piece of flaming rubble and entered the building. "Lilyana?" She said, coughing as her lungs filled with smoke. "Lilyana." It was always surprising to her how quickly your voice changed upon inhaling something that wasn't clean air. Erupting in a coughing fit, Mac brought the lapel of her shirt over her mouth, using it as a filter for the air. From outside, she heard the helo take off and a rounds being fired, some closer than others. The Marines, including Gunny, had stayed to take care of one of their own. Another helo would be waiting in the wings for an extraction.

Walking carefully among the rubble, Mac lifted one of the desks attempting to see if, somehow, Lilyana had landed there after the blast. The smoke was burning her eyes, making them tear up and that much harder to see. Outside there was another explosion and then another much too close for her comfort. Before Mac knew it, the roof came down on her.

--

1820 Zulu  
JAG Headquarters  
Falls Church, Virginia

"I haven't heard anything about the Colonel." Apparently, things were going to get worse before they got any better, AJ figured as he saw the look of defeat on Harm's face. And maybe, a look of guilt? "Have a seat, Harm."

Reluctantly, he did so, sliding into the large leather chair in front of the Admiral's desk. "If it's about the case, sir. . . I did my best. My concern for Mac. . Uh, Colonel MacKenzie did not cause an inefficient defense and I would. . ."

"Harm." With just that word, AJ managed to silence whatever tangent his senior attorney was going on. Smirking, AJ sat next to the other man and sighed. "Do you believe he was guilty?"

Harm looked at his commanding officer in confusion, isn't that normally something lawyers didn't ask? "Sir?"

"He was a SEAL, Commander. . .he paid the price for his duty and he saved 139 lives."

"He seems to be affected on how he had to deal with Mr. Summer. . . it shouldn't have happened that way." Harm too was conflicted, not just because of the loss, but because he felt angered at Keegan choosing to not divulge the information that he had been drinking before getting on the plane.

AJ nodded. "Saving lives sometimes can leave you scarred. No matter how 'right' it is supposed to be, taking a life is taking a life."

"I know, sir. . . it sometimes bothers me the amount of people I may have killed when I flew." With a sigh, Harm moved forward and scrubbed his hand over his face, an action normally not done in front of commanding officers, but he was too mentally exhausted to care. "If I may be dismissed, sir. . . I need to apologize to Lieutenant's Roberts and Simms over Lt. Singer's poor courtroom behavior."

"Dismissed." AJ watched the younger man walk away and sighed. Though Harm could have sworn that his head was in the game during the trial, AJ was sure that part of it was with Mac, as was his and every one else in the office who was close to her.

Striding towards his office, Harm was surprised to find Harriet and Bud sitting in his guest chairs, waiting for him. "Hey you two, look. . . I am really sorry. . . it shouldn't have happened, Singer was way out of line."

Harriet smiled and placed a hand on his forearm, hoping to stop him from babbling. "There's no need to apologize, we all had a job to do."

Confused, Harm looked at the two of them. "Then, umm . . . well, why are you here?"

"Because we wanted to stay with you until you found out about Colonel MacKenzie." Harriet said, concealing the tears that she had cried earlier upon hearing of the situation in Aceh. In her mind, she kept remembering how horrible it was to know that Harm and Mac had gone down at sea, now this. . . it was too much for her.

"That is, if you don't mind, sir." Bud said with a soft smile.

"Absolutely." Closing the door of his office, Harm came around his desk and sat in his own chair. "She'll be alright."

Looking at Harriet and receiving a nudge of approval, Bud decided to test one of her 'theories' and slid to the edge of his seat. "Permission to speak freely?" At Harm's nod, he took a breath and let the words fly out. "You love Colonel MacKenzie, don't you sir?"

Harm looked at the two and resisted the urge to laugh. Was he so transparent? "Yes." It was an admission that seemed to remove the load off of his shoulders. He'd always been curious of his friends would approve of something between he and Mac. Bud, after all, was going to be the bestman to Mac and Mic's wedding.

Sighing, Harm clenched his jaw, hoping to stop the tears from forming as the overwhelming feeling that something was terribly wrong presented herself. "I. . .l-love her s-so much that I can't live without her." He laughed despite himself, all of that sounded so much like a cliché, but it was the truth and it was something that he couldn't deny anymore. "I just can't believe we survived the ocean only to have this. . . whatever it is happen."

"It'll be alright, she'll be fine. . . she'll come home." Harriet said, truly believing that.

But, it was difficult to agree when so much of their time together had been stripped away and wasted. It was mostly his fault for not clarifying things to Mac that needed clarifying. For him staying away like a good boy and not pushing her when he noticed the hesitation in accepting Mic's engagement. Now, he sat in wait for news that the woman he loved was either alive, dead, or worse of all, missing.

That was the part that worried him the most. The lack of information that they had about the situation in Aceh, was making his head spin. What if the people attacking the consulate had caught her? If it was a group of rebels or a mob of sorts, Mac wouldn't last. They would hurt her, physically because she was a woman, and even worse, an American Military woman. Closing his eyes tightly, he couldn't bare the thoughts of what wicked men did during war. The horror stories were etched in his mind from the things he had witnessed being a teen in Vietnam.

No, Mac couldn't be missing or captured, nor could she be dead, he would not accept that. She was alive and well and she was coming home to HIM. "I just wish we had news." He said with a frown. "I need to know something."

As if on cue, the door to his office opened and the Admiral walked in. "As you were." He said, waiving off his officer's attempt at coming to attention. "She's alive. . . but hurt. . . being heloed back to the Guadalcanal as we speak."

Harm was partially relived, but the other half of him was starting to panic. "How badly was she hurt?"

AJ frowned. "When Gunny and the Marines found her, they said she was pinned under some of the roofing. . .she's unconscious and has a few broken bones and some burns. . . I don't know anything else about her condition, but the skipper on the LHA has strict orders to keep me informed." With that, AJ turned and headed back to his office, where he could hopefully massage more information about Mac's condition.

Standing, Harm headed to his window and looked out, rain had started to fall. 'Rain is good luck, Harmon.' He remembered hearing his grandmother say as a pre-teen Harmon Rabb Jr., complained about his adventure around the farm had been rained out. 'It falls from heaven and cleanses things. That's why it smells so nice and fresh after the downpour.' He believed that once and would have continued to had he not crashed into the ramp so many years ago as the ship was tossed by the storms at sea. After their near-fatal ride, he was giving up any hopes that rain and him were good for each other.


	6. Maybe The Rain Is A Good Thing?

Thnkas for the feedback and well wishing. I am feeling slightly better, anti-biotics rock! ;)

This part will bring home everything that happened to Mac in Aceh and will start to bring her and Harm close together.

Enjoy!

Jackie

PART 6 – Maybe The Rain Is A Good Thing?  
1820 Zulu  
Bethesda Naval Hospital  
Bethesda, Maryland

During the ride towards Bethesda, it was still raining, in fact, it hadn't stopped. Harm had managed to secure early to be the first one over at the hospital. AJ didn't want to keep him in the office acting like a caged lion, so he did not get any arguments from him. The others would stop by during lunch or the end of their shifts. As he walked into her room, Harm couldn't help but wonder if this is what he looked like to her while he was being treated. Mac seemed pale and so small, laying against the bed. At least, she didn't have a zillion tubes coming in and out of her, he hoped it meant that her injuries were not that serious. He noted that and there were small scrapes and what appeared to be burns on her face and arm.

He slid into the seat by her bed and just watched her sleep. She was alive and she was home. Now, if they could only figure things out everything would be fine. "Harm?" Mac's groggy voice cut through his thoughts.

"Hey, there." Smiling, he moved closer to the bed and took a hand that she was offering. "How you feeling?"

Pulling out her other hand from under the blanket, he noticed the cast on her arm. "Forearm hurts like a bitch."

"You broke it?" It was a stupid question, he realized that the moment he said it.

Mac rolled her eyes. "No, I asked them to put the cast on for decoration."

He had to laugh at her spunk. "Okay, well. . . anything else broken?"

"Ribs are bruised, I have a headache that won't quit. . ." Sighing, she turned her head to the side. At the moment, she was talking like Mac the Marine, trying to be strong when all she wanted to do was be safely vulnerable. Turning her head back to face him, she couldn't help the tears that welled up. "I'm sorry for leaving. . . I didn't mean to hurt you."

Harm, who was still holding her hand, took that opportunity to kiss her knuckles. "I don't want to talk about that right now, Mac. . . you need to rest."

Mac sighed, "I know, but we need to talk. . . we have to."

"I agree, but you need to get back up to par. . . then, I promise you, we'll talk." Standing up, he kissed her forehead and smiled down at her. "Welcome home, Marine."

"I. . . need you to do something for me. . . It's important and it can't wait, please?"

Harm creased his brow, what could be so important? "Sure. . . anything."

"Help me find Lilyana, please."

1302 Zulu  
JAG Headquarters  
Falls Church, Virginia

Trying to get any information out of Indonesia was complete hell. Now, he understood why so little information about Mac and Gunny was presented when the consulate was under attack. Basically put, no one knew shit. At the hospital, Mac had told her side of how it all happened, ending with her running back to the school to find Lilyana. "I need to know she's alright." Mac had told him, with tears in her eyes and as soon as the doctor had kicked him out of Bethesda so that she could get some rest, Harm went to work trying to find anything about the little girl. The search began with Mr. Dart and somehow meandered it's way to Captain Jureau, the man that Mac had bartered with in order to free Corporal Lassiter. It was selfish, but Harm felt a little bit more at ease knowing she had given away Mic's ring. It made the notion that she split up with Brumby all the more real. "Captain, my name is Commander Harmon Rabb, I am. . . friends with Lt. Colonel Sarah MacKenzie, I believe you two met? She was sent to handle Corporal. . ."

"Lassiter, yes, yes. . . the Colonel is a very difficult woman to forget." Jureau said and Harm couldn't agree more, but he was going to keep that to himself. "Is there something I can help you with Commander? If you are wondering about the Colonel, I hear she and the Marines, including Corporal Lassiter evacuated. She should be safe."

"She is safe."

"That's very pleasant to hear. . ." Smiling Jureau slid deeper into his chair. "Well?"

"Ah, yes, the reason I am calling. . . there was a girl that the Colonel was concerned about, her name was Lilyana."

Jureau nodded, leaning against his desk. "Yes, Mr. Dart from the consulate informed me about her, sadly I do not have any information. . . Trying to find one missing girl in a land where so many are missing is. . ."

"Like finding a needle in a haystack?" Harm offered.

Jureau laughed. "I never tire of your colorful American terminology."

"Apparently, neither do we." Harm shot back and sighed. "If you find anything, could you possibly contact me back at JAG ops? It would mean a lot to the Colonel."

"Surely. . . and that would mean that you would be in my debt." Jureau said with a smirk and then added. "Are you the man who's heart she broke?"

Harm was tempted to say something snarky, but seeing as he wanted to find out about Lilyana for Mac and this was his last hope, he took a breath and answered. "No, I am not."

"No, of course not. . .you said you were her friend. . . but, perhaps there is a story there, no?"

"There's a story there. . .Look, Captain, please. . .You're our last hope." 

Jureau decided to drop it for now, "I will do what I can, but it may not be much."

Two Days Later  
1640 Zulu  
JAG Headquarters  
Falls Church, Virginia

Mac looked down at he palm of her hand which held a flat box carrying a meritorious service medal. She looked between Harm and AJ, then sighed. "A meritorious service medal, sir?" She looked down at it with disgust and then brought her eyes back to their CO. "Admiral, I left our group to search for a little girl. Nearly got myself and the other Marines killed. . . to top it off. . . she is still missing."

"And you saved the lives of twenty-two people. . . you were a damned fine Marine officer out there." He pointed out, hoping that she realized, it was part of the service, the nitty gritty part that not everyone could be helped.

"But not a damned fine Human being." She said in a soft voice, disgusted with the outcome. She couldn't say that she knew everything would be okay, but why couldn't she catch a break? Why couldn't they all have made it?

Harm decided it was time for him to say something. "Mac, you did what you could." But, he knew too well that she could kick herself when things went out of her control. It must have really been hell if anyone was left behind, Mac wouldn't leave anyone if she could help it.

"Well, it wasn't enough." She said sadly then looked between the two men once more. "Does the feeling that you've failed ever go away?"

Thankfully neither of the men had to answer that question. "Admiral, Commander Rabb as an urgent call on two." Tiner said over the intercom.

"You can take it in here." AJ said, pointing towards his phone which Harm headed for immediately.

"Commander Rabb." The somber expression that was on Harm's face, suddenly changed. "You found here? Good. . .yes, yes. . . of course I'll let her know, thank you Captain. . . thank you." Putting down the receiver he turned to Mac and smiled. "They found Lilyana, she's in a local hospital, with a concussion but she is going to be alright."

1230 Zulu  
Aceh, Indonesia

The flight to Aceh was exhausting, especially for Mac, who hadn't had a chance to fully get back on her feet. Somehow, Harm had managed to accompany Mac to Indonesia. She wasn't happy with that at first, but AJ insisted, and now, with as bad as she felt, it was good to have someone to take care of her. Captain Jureau had met them both at the airport, exchanged pleasantries and drove Harm and Mac to the local hospital.

There were several children in that area of the hospital, rows upon rows of beds. Harm followed Mac, coming to a stop just behind her. Slowly, Mac walked over to the little girl and breathed a sigh of relief. "Lilyana?"

Opening her eyes slowly, Lilyana smiled brightly. "Am I dreaming?"

"No, I am here, I came back to see if you were okay." Mac took the chair that Harm had slid close to her.

"Who is he?" Lilyana asked, her eyes glancing towards Harm who smiled back at her.

Turning to Harm, Mac fumbled for a moment on what she would call him. Partner? Friend? Boyfriend? She wished. "This is um. . .my uh. ."

"Friend. . .Harm." Moving cautiously around Mac, he took the little girl's hand then moved back, allowing Mac some space.

It was clear the Lilyana was hurt, as a strip of gauze went around her head. There were also some cuts and bruising on her arms and hands. Still, she smiled brightly at the two in front of her. "Is he Marine too?"

"No, he is in the Navy." Mac replied, sliding to the edge of the chair and taking Lilyana's small hand in hr own.

"Does that mean you order him about?"

Laughing Harm and Mac looked at each other and it was Harm that answered. "Sometimes, yes . . . and she does it very well." With a wink, he covered Mac's exasperated expression.

The two remained by the little girl for as long as the hospital could allow. Before they left, Mac presented Lilyana with her meritorious service medal, which Mac briefly explained what it was awarded for. "Wow. . . I have valor?" The little girl said with a wide eyed expression.

Mac smiled, biting her lower lip to help prevent the tears from forming. "You have much more than I did when I was your age." Feeling his hand squeezing her shoulder, Mac turned and looked into Harm's eyes, supportive and caring. She was glad he was there with her.

After exchanging goodbye's and Mac retrieving the picture of her that Lilyana had drawn, they stepped outside to find Captain Jureau waiting for them. "Colonel, I must commend you, not many would have returned in such. . .condition." He said, referring to the obvious injury to her arm. "Why was she so special?"

"Because she depended on me and I failed her."

Jureau shrugged and then opened the door for Mac. "Adults fail children all the time, it's a part of life. . .It's sad, non-tragic. . .Merely forces them to grow up."

Stopping to look at the shorter man, Mac thought something entirely different about parents and their role with children. "No Captain, it destroys something inside of them forever. . . I didn't want to do that to her or any other child if I can help it."

Jureau smiled up at Mac and then turned towards Harm. "Commander, I commend you for being with such a fascinating woman."

Mac snorted. "I am not that fascinating."

"Oh yes you are." Both men said at the same time and then chuckled.

Harm and Mac bid their farewells to the Captain and drove immediately to the airport. When the plane took off, Harm felt Mac's hand sliding into his own. He looked down at their joined hands then up to see Mac's chocolate colored eyes gazing into his own. "Thank you. . ."

Smiling, he raised their hands and kissed the back of hers, then squeezed and placed them on his lap. "Just wanted to make sure you got home safely this time." Lifting up the armrest, Harm pulled Mac towards him, making sure she was comfortable. "Rest, Mac. . ."

Lifting her head from his shoulder, where it had come to rest, she looked up at him. "We have to talk about a few things."

"And we will. . . but for now, just rest." Harm was happy not to get an argument or an 'I am a Marine' speech from Mac. It kind of worried him that she didn't protest, but he figured that she was just exhausted, she had to be. He wrapped his arm around her and sighed, Looking out of the window, he noticed it was raining, with a chuckle, he looked down at Mac and smiled. Maybe rain was a good sign?


	7. Time To Be Lovers

This part has an nc-17 version, if you want it, drop me an e-mail with your AGE verification. No AGE verification, no smut. If you don't want it, it's your loss! I had to snip a lot of parts to not get the NC-17 rating. So if it don't flow, now you know why. ;) I just pretty much chopped away. This part you can say is an R rating more or less. . .

Enjoy!

Jackie

Part 7 – Time To Be Lovers  
2320 Zulu  
Mac's Apartment  
Georgetown

"That was one hell of a meal, Commander." Mac said, pushing herself away from the table with her good arm. It had been two days since they arrived from Aceh and much to her chagrin, she was ORDERED to stay home and get some rest. She was going so stir crazy, that when Harm had called suggesting to cook her dinner, she practically sang the "Hallelujah" chorus. He was supposed to go over the day before, but due to a case in Norfolk, they had to settle for tonight.

Grinning, Harm took the plates into the kitchen. "Get comfortable, Mac. . . I brought some desert."

"Alright." She said, her mouth watering with hopes that he brought her a chocolate mouse cheesecake from that coffee shop near her house. "Can you put some coffee on?"

Harm poked his head out and shook it. "Wouldn't tea be better with your meds, Colonel?"

"Don't make me hurt you, Commander." Grinning, she plopped into the sofa and brought her injured arm to the arm rest.

"Okay, okay. . . but when you can't sleep, don't call me to help pull you from the ceiling." He chuckled at his own banter, having a funny imagine of him have to bring Mac off of the ceiling.

Mac smiled as he walked out of the kitchen with two pieces of non-other than chocolate mouse cheesecake and two cups of coffee. "Ooooh, God, Harm, I love this stuff." She dove into the cheesecake, closing her eyes as the taste exploded in her mouth.

Amused, Harm watched the look of pleasure on her face. It gave him a bit of an ego boost that he put that look there, even if he just bought the piece of cheesecake. When one of Mac's eyes met his, he quickly ate a mouthful. Once the slices were done, they remained seated next to each other, sipping coffee. "Good to be home?"

"Yea it is." Looking around her apartment, Mac glanced at all of the things that made up a piece of who she was. Was it good to be home? No, it was awesome. It was ridiculous to her how much she missed silly things like her favorite coffee mug or her favorite pajamas. Most of all, it was good to be back home with him. She noted the slightly sad look in his eyes that meant something was missing from his life. Maybe it was her? At least, she wanted it to be her, because she wanted to be with him. There was a place she needed to start though, even though she swore that apologizing was a weakness. "I have to apologize. ."

"Mac. . You don't. ." Harm brought his hand to hers and held on loosely, hoping not to scare away the moment they seemed to be having.

"Yes I do." Turning in her seat, but not removing her hand from Harm's, Mac leaned closer. "And I also need. . . I need to say. . .that I'm. . sorry." The words caught slightly as words that she told him in the past came to mind. 'Never say you are sorry, it's a sign of weakness.' She looked away for a moment and then turned back to him, surprised that Harm hadn't used her weakness against her. There was no snarky comment, no bantering, only a concerned look in his eyes. "I am sorry for leaving."

Harm sighed. "Just, don't leave again. . . these last few months have not been fun."

Maybe it was the pain medication she was taking. Maybe it was the altitude or the fact that she could finally start to heal, but Mac became more up front with Harm than she ever had been. "Now you know how I felt when you left to fly."

That confession alone felt like if Harm had been slugged in the gut. They had never really discussed what his leaving had done to her, only that things had changed. He felt the slight unease between them, one that was never ever recovered, but to hear her confirming that she was in pain over him leaving, chipped a piece of his ego. "I am sorry that I hurt you." Sighing, Harm turned to face Mac. "I understand why you left, Mac. . .but, it bothered me that I couldn't do anything for you. . . Hell, I tried coming to you and. . .it felt futile."

Mac closed her eyes and let out a slow breath. "I shouldn't have given you an ultimatum. . . Especially when you are engaged." Removing her hand from Harm's, Mac took the moment to stand and move behind the sofa. Somehow, between everything that happened, she came to realize that he never really told her that he split up with Renee. She just went on assuming that he had. "I was being selfish. . . you have a right to be happy."

"Mac. . . Renee and I are through. . . we've been through since that night I came to you." But, there was more than that, if anything, he did then just what she wanted him to do. "She knew, like Mic did that there would always be something between us." With a sigh, he stood and walked up behind Mac. "When we broke up, it was because. . . because, I wanted you, Mac. . ."

The words cut straight to her soul. In not so many words, she got what she wanted from Harm, confession that he was ready and willing to start something "What happened to you when we ejected? What happened to the arrogant flyboy?"

"He decided that maybe it is time to take a non-guarded chance."

Mac shook her head. "In English, not Rabbspeak?"

Harm grinned. "In English, he realized he was in love with his best friend and he would always be." Slowly, he moved closer to her, brushing his hands up her arms, careful of the cast on one of them. His hands cupped her face, thumbs stroking her cheeks, catching a stray tear. "We need to make this work Mac, because I can't keep dancing." Without hesitation, he took her lips with his own in a searing kiss that left them both speechless.

Mac stepped back slightly, using her good hand to start unbuttoning the shirt she was wearing. Letting it drop to the floor, Mac glanced up at Harm with a saucy look. "Sarah I. . ." He began to object knowing full well she was still injured.

"I want to Harm. . . I need to know you find me attractive."

Harm shook his head and halted her movements. "You don't think you're attractive?"

"If I were, why did he leave?"

If he hated Mic Brumby before, at this moment, Harm could have killed the man for making Mac think she was anything but the most attractive woman on the planet. "Brumby is a fool. . .You are intelligent, tough, you are the most beautiful woman I've known. . ." His gaze on her softened a bit as did his voice. "You are sexy, Mac. . So much that you capture my fantasies."

"You've fantasized about me?" Mac shivered at the thoughts of Harm fantasizing about her. She felt somewhat relieved that she wasn't the only one living in fantasyland. The fact that he had admitted it, well, it was icing on the cake.

A light pink flushed his cheeks as he nodded stupidly. "More times that I should have." He was waiting for a slap, an argument, something other than what he received from Mac. Her arms came around him and the kissed softly. He could feel Mac's lips upturned while they kissed, he knew full well she was smiling. Pulling back, he saw a look of desire in her eyes and couldn't help but groan when her thigh brushed against his arousal. "Mac. . .are you sure?" He asked breathlessly, feeling whatever had kept them apart for so long start to snap. He glanced down at her mouth, her lips beckoning him to join them together once and for all.

Mac watched him try to control his emotions for her sake. He couldn't take much more, for that matter, neither could she. They'd waited too long, much too long and she need him now. "Yes. . ." Whispering, she locked one hand around his neck and pulled Harm's head closer to her own. "I want you. . .and I don't want to wait anymore. . ." She kissed him then, slow, passionately. Breaking away, she saw a dazed look in his eyes, all of his control was sunk. "Don't make me wait anymore." She said in a seductive voice before adding. "I want to make love with you."

That finally made Harm crack. He moved his head down, crushing his lips to hers, kissing her hard with fervor. "God, I've wanted to do this for so long." He ran his hands up and down Mac's back, his nails slightly nicking her skin. Her hands were between them, working diligently to unbutton his summer whites. He stood still as she worked and merely feasted on her neck, licking past her pulse point, tracing her clavicle with his tongue.

Mac moaned when his lips came down on her throat which he nibbled slightly. She threw her head back to give him access and let out a frustrated growl when the cast would not let her remove Harm's blouse quickly. "Damnit."

Stopping abruptly, Harm glanced down at Mac who was still fumbling with the buttons of his shirt. He stilled her hands and worked on the buttons himself then dropped the blouse to the floor. Grinning, he saw Mac lick and bite her lower lip, apparently liking the look of him in just pants and an undershirt. Brining his mouth back to hers, they kissed again, deeply and as they did he began working on removing his trousers. Somehow they wound up in her bedroom.

"Mac. . ." He moaned when one of her hands brushed him. Mac wrapped her arms around him as they kissed. Years of wanting and waiting was making his slow pace was driving her crazy. But, then again, she didn't want it any other way. She tried pushing him to his back, but Harm grabbed her hand and stopped her.

"Harm!" She said in protest of his obvious teasing. "You're killing me here."

Harm chuckled again. "Good." Sighing, he stopped kissing her. "This isn't going to last long. . ." He rasped in her ear.

Mac grazed her nails up and down his back. "I don't care. . . we have all night. . . to try." Breathlessly she said. She licked a drop of sweat from his chin and then kissed him, the sweet and salty taste mixing together. They made love. Wonderful, passionate, intense love and as Harm had predicted, soon after they were both spent.

Harm was shivering, not from the cold but from the knowledge that he had just had the most incredible sexual encounter of his life. Things really were different & special when you were with the one you loved. Rolling onto his back, Harm reached out and pulled Mac with him. He placed her injured arm on his chest and kissed her fingertips. "I love you, Sarah. . . and I always will."

"I love you too, Harm." She said, snuggling up even closer to him. With a happy sigh she fell asleep.

It was sometime around two am, when Harm awoke to find himself in Mac's empty bed. Closing his eyes, tightly, he was hoping it wasn't happening again, that she didn't just disappear and leave him some sort of Dear John letter on the nightstand again. Touching her side of the bed, he found it warm. If she did leave, it couldn't have been that long ago. Sitting up in bed, he grabbed the sheets and wrapped them around his waist. "Mac?" He couldn't help the catch in his voice, nor the rapid beating of his hear. 'No, no. . . not again.' Worried, he headed out of the bedroom and out towards the living room. He stopped dead in his tracks when he saw the French door to her small balcony open and one Sarah MacKenzie standing there glancing up at the skies. He took a deep breath and moved quietly outside, wrapping his arms around her from behind.

It should have startled her, but Mac felt him the moment he stopped to watch her. She smiled, wrapped her arms around his and leaned into his chest. "Your heart is beating so fast."

"I thought you ran off again. . ." He said, softly, well aware that his voice had caught the moment he said it. Harm didn't care if his emotions were showing, simply put, he was scared to lose her. "I didn't want to go through that again."

Turning in his arms, Mac glanced up at him and placed a hand on his cheek. "I am not leaving you ever again, Harm. . . you mean too much to me." Moving her hand around and to the back of his head, Mac pulled him down and kissed him softly. She smiled and turned in his arms again, closing her eyes as she raised her head to the heavens. "It's gorgeous tonight, isn't it?

Harm glanced down at her, seeing that her eyes were closed. "It is and am surprised you can see it with closed eyes." He teased, tightening his arms around her. Mac jabbed him gently with her elbow. "Owww. . . what was that for?"

"Don't ruin the moment, Commander." She warned in a playful tone then sighed happily.

They remained together for a few more minutes until a cloud ended up covering up the moon and lightening lit up the horizon. "C'mon Mac, let's go back to bed." Not getting an argument, he tugged her through the apartment and curled up together in her bed, drifting off to sleep.

--  
Nikki – Feeling better but not that much better, drugs ain't kicking in as fast as I'd hoped. :P Bronchitis sucks!

Foxy – I thought it was an amusing line, myself LOL!!

Claire – The key thing to any Harm and Mac story is the stubbornness, they are both idiots. LOL!

Froggy – Oooh, Renee will be rearing her ugly head soon enough. ;) Brace yerself!

LtJgMeg – I loved "Guilt" it was a great episode because you see both sides of our favorite Colonel. You see Sarah, her caring, motherly, loving type and Mac the kick ass jarhead. :) Lilyana was a sweetie, I am glad she was found.

CBW – It was fun screwing with the actual stories, sometimes difficult but fun. Glad you like it :)

Blonde – Look! I updated!! :D LOL!


	8. Fights, Countdowns and Mistletoe

Hey gang! Today I am a happy camper, I feel better, hacking up less of my lungs and Hunter (the 80s cop show) was picked up by TV Land and is having a marathon today. Tee Hee! I remember watching that when I was a kid. Loved it! :D Anyway. . . here is a another fluffish (if that is even a word) Harm and Mac part for you guys. The next parts have been a pain, but fun to write. I should have them posted either very late tomorrow or sometime on Monday depending on how much work I have to do tomorrow night.

XBlueShadowX, LieutenantjgMegAustin , maidenpride21, froggy0319, Navy Babe, Hieros Gamos, Charmboy4, blonde-brain, Anaika Skywalker, Charmboy4, zeilfanaat, Nikki, jaggurl, achaon, cbw, Manda May, FoxyWombat, zeilfanaat, Jackia & Jenny, for all the feedback. :)

Enjoy!  
Jackie

Part 8 – Fights, Countdowns and Mistletoe  
Christmas Eve  
0030 Zulu  
Robert's Home  
Rosslyn, Virginia

(Note: There will be no Coates & No Sergie, that just complicates things!)

The months heading towards the Holidays went off without any real problems. Harm and Mac learned to juggle both their personal and business relationship, which, for the most part, they handled rather well. There were arguments, but it's Harm and Mac we're talking about, when you put together two passionate (read: stubborn) people, there are bound to be arguments. Most were handled well, with the exception of one that left them both reeling. . .

Sturgis had started dating Bobbi Latham, something that didn't bother Harm in the least, actually, he gave them his blessing. However, one evening, when Harm and Mac met with Sturgis and AJ in a local bar, things got sketchy. The JAG crew had been noticing that their faithful leader seemed somewhat gruffer than usual. Figuring it had to do with his lack of a personal relationship, Harm and Sturgis jumped in trying to help. The result was an attractive, blond member of congress that had her hands all over Harm. "Uh, you did tell her she was here to meet an Admiral NOT a Commander didn't you, Bobbi?" Harm said with an amused grin as Bobbi's friend Cindy, eyed Harm from across the room. (Don't remember the actual girls name or what she did and I am too lazy to check. . . :P)

At the bar, a very annoyed Lt. Colonel sat by wanting to stake Cindy through the heart with the small plastic sword impaling the olive in her tonic water and lemon. It wasn't that she was jealous per se (though we knew she was), it was more of a problem that Harm wasn't doing a damned thing to show he was no longer in the running. It was her fault of course, seeing as a month earlier he wanted to come clean with his friends and she decided to keep them a secret at least until after the Holidays.

Harm had noted Mac's glare and figured she was just seeing green and everything would be fine. That was, of course, until they got to his apartment and the argument went into full bloom. "Were you even planning on getting her hand OFF of your lap, Rabb? Or were you doing that just to make me get pissed at you?"

"Hey, it wouldn't have happened I you'd let me tell our friends that we're an item." He countered with a satisfied smirk that Mac wanted to slap away and did. "What the hell was that for?"

Truthfully, she had no idea why she had just slapped him only that she felt some sort of feminine pride at knocking that smile away. "Do you want to be with me?"

Harm sighed dramatically, "I hate when you get this way. . . you manage to zap the fun out of everything."

That was the straw that broke the camel's back, at least for Mac. Can we say miscommunication? "I am sorry that I zapped the fun out of your time with little miss all over you like a cheap suit." Grabbing her purse and briefcase, Mac headed towards the door. "I won't let it happen again."

He reached out to stop her, but Mac just snaked her arm out of his. "I didn't mean it that way."

"I don't care how you meant it. . ." She snapped at him and left. As she drove home, Mac couldn't help the tears she was crying. "Damnit." She swore, slamming her hand against the steering wheel. "Damn you, Harm."

It was hours later, when he didn't receive a call from Mac, and his rational side beat out the argument with his macho side, that Harm decided it was time to mend fences. As he was heading out to Mac's, he opened the door, surprised to find her on the other side. "I heard once that you should never go to bed angry at the one you love."

"My grandmother told me the same thing." Harm said with a soft smile. "Harmon, never let the sun set on an argument." He opened the door wider for her to enter and watched as she walked in and stood before him.

"I am sorry I slapped you, it was uncalled for. . ." Sighing, she brushed away a stray hair and suddenly found and interesting spot on the floor. "I don't normally go around beating my boyfriends. . . I'm not a female version of my father."

"I never thought that, Mac." Harm sighed then smiled slightly. "I could have been a bit smoother with. . .uh. . .what did you call her?"

"Little miss all over you like a cheap suit." She said, resisting the urge to grin.

Tucking his hand under her chin, Harm raised her head up. "I can't promise we won't fight ever again, though I wish I could. . ."

"Neither of us can promise that, Harm. . . It'd be foolish to try. . . but we can promise each other to listen and speak rationally rather than close up and yell."

Leaning in Harm kissed her softly and smiled. "I like that idea." Mac took on of his hands in hers and tugged him towards the bedroom. "Uh, Mac?"

"Shhh. . . it's called 'makeup sex' flyboy. . ." She said with a grin, pushing Harm onto the his bed.

Harm was remembering that night particularly as he walked into Harriet's kitchen and leaned lightly against the door jam watching Mac preparing more deviled eggs for the annual Robert's Christmas party. She looked incredible to him wearing something that resembled a business suit with light red, almost pinkish lapels. Her hair was slicked back and she was wearing a pair of earrings that were a gift from him, just a few months ago on her birthday. Harm couldn't wait to get home and see what was under the suit. Smoothly coming to his feet, he sauntered across the kitchen and placed his hands on either side, trapping Mac between him and the kitchen counter. His mouth sought out a certain spot on her neck that always made her giggle.

Biting her lower lip, Mac leaned back against him, turning her head slightly to allow him more access. "Mmmm, sailor . . . you might wanna save that for later."

Harm growled lightly and resumed kissing her neck. "Couldn't help myself, Mac. . .You did promise to show me what you had underneath. . . I was hoping to steal a peak." His hands came around her waist as they melted into each other oblivious that there was someone nearby.

"Ahem." Walking into the kitchen was non-other that Admiral AJ Chegwidden. He nearly howled in laughter when Mac and Harm instantly came apart and snapped to attention. Smiling, he walked into the kitchen and searched the fridge. "Harriet asked me to grab the eggnog." Taking the carton, AJ placed it on the kitchen island and moved his arms across his chest, still maintaining somewhat of a pleased smirk. "Lovely party isn't it?"

"Yes, sir." His senior attorney's said in unison.

AJ grabbed the eggnog and turned away chuckling. "As you were."

Harm and Mac slowly came out of attention and looked at each other before they shared nervous laughter. "That was. . ."

"Odd." Mac supplied for him. With a sigh, she turned, grabbed the deviled eggs and gave Harm a kiss on the cheek. "Let's join the party shall we?"

Wrapping his hand around Mac's arm, he gently stopped her from leaving. "Wait a sec." Sighing, he leaned against the kitchen island. "Come with me tonight. . . to the wall."

Mac placed the tray on the island and studied Harm for a moment, he was being serious. "I can't. . . it's not my place."

Taking her hand in his, Harm squeezed slightly. "I want you there. . ." Sighing, he leaned forward and whispered. "I need you to be there, Sarah."

The color of his eyes seemed to intensify as he requested for her to be by his side. Sure, she had been to the wall before and even recalled going to the wall to find Harm, but it was his moment with his father. It was supposed to be special for him and something that she didn't have a right to be part of. She figured that after the Christmas Mass, she would head over to her place and he would join her later. To have him want her there, held a special meaning in her heart. "Okay."

Leaning in farther, Harm kissed her gently on the lips and then smiled genuinely. "Thank you."

The party was it's usual success and Harriet the happy hostess. The whole JAG crew was there, as they usually were for most get togethers. It was, when they were leaving the party to hear Chaplain Turner's Christmas sermon, that it happened. Little AJ sauntered into the room holding Tiner's hand and pointed upward to a sprig of mistletoe that Harriet had under the front door. Who was standing under it? Non-other than Harm and Mac. "Aunt Mac. . . Kiss Uncle Harm."

Ever since Christmas preparations stared, AJ had been curious as to why mommy had been hanging leaves on doors. Harriet explained, as best she could, that each time someone wound up under that sprig they had to kiss the person standing next to him. Little AJ had become very good at trying to get either him or his parents under the sprig, but had forgotten all about it when the JAG crew had arrived for the party. Now, seeing two of his favorite people under the sprig, he couldn't help himself. The little blond boy bounced up and down, pointing at the mistletoe. "Uncle Harm kiss Aunt Mac."

Harm and Mac exchanged smiles as both turned a lovely shade of pink. Though their surrogate family guessed that they were an item, nothing was officially announced. Hence, why being discovered by the Admiral was such an awkward moment. His arms came around Mac, holding her closer than you would someone who was just a partner. Her arms wrapped around Harm's neck, drawing him in. As they kissed, they felt the whole room disappear until they heard little AJ giggling right next to them. Harm and Mac broke apart, a bit too consumed with each other to notice that they just had a little make out session in front of their co-workers. If there was anyone who doubted the depth of Harm and Mac's current relationship status, the doubts ended the moment their lips met.

New Year's Eve  
0445 Zulu  
AJ Chegwidden's House  
McLean, Virginia

"It's wonderful for you to have a New Years Eve party, Admiral." Bud said with a smile as the Admiral began handing out champagne.

"I see your suit hasn't befallen any. . . problems this evening Mr., Roberts?" AJ grinned referring to Bud's uncanny ability to destroy his wardrobe during certain functions.

Bud shook his head and chuckled. "It's still early, sir."

Harm and Mac stood to the side, chatting about Chloe and how her father had planned to go camping with her after the holidays. "I never really did the camping thing when I was a kid. . . I would just grab sheets, put them all over the room and pretend that was my tent." Sighing, he shook his head and frowned. "After dad went MIA, mom wouldn't let me out of her sights much, so joining the boy scouts just didn't happen."

Mac chuckled, imagining little Harm securely placing sheets all over his room. "But, I heard you did the camping thing when you were older. . . in fact, Pops at the airfield specifically mentioned you flying off with an attractive woman and not returning until morning." It was the first time that they had gone flying and Mac was standing by Harm's plane waiting for him to arrive. Pops, the former caretaker of the hanger and a friend had stumbled on a conversation about the Naval Officer, his plane and the women who had flown with him, only to return in the morning.

Harm flashed several different colors and nearly choked on the champagne he was drinking. "That ah. . . was a long time ago."

"So was that what you were trying the day we had to make an emergency pit stop in the Appalachians?" Mac mused on winking seductively at him. "You know, that whole fuel line problem?"

"Noooo. . . that was genuine." He flashed a satisfied grin then leaned in to whisper. "You were completely jealous when I mentioned the name 'Sarah' weren't you?"

Nonchalantly she shrugged and took a sip of her apple juice. "Yea, well, you clarified it rather well."

"Commander, I need your help with something." AJ pulled Harm away from Mac walking him towards where Matonni and the Gunny were exchanging a conversation suited for Harm's knowledge on Navy vessels.

Mac watched him from across the room, passionately giving details to the men, laughing along with AJ who had made a joke. She sighed, happy at the complete feeling she had around him. To think that if they never would have had to eject over the Atlantic, she would have either been in Australia or worst off, standing at this very spot with someone she didn't truly love.

Mic had sent her a Christmas card, apparently, for all of the love he felt for her, he too managed to move on. He was married now, working on a family with an English woman he had met in Australia. She was some sort of liaison between the Australian Navy and some government firm. It surprised Mac that he even bothered, considering she probably ripped him to shreds. 'I hope all is well, Sarah. . . you deserve the best. Happy Holidays.' She would have written back had she not felt so guilty in regards to Mic. He was a good man and deserved the truth from her. Oh well, nothing she could do now except bury it with everything else that had happened that year.

A melancholic feeling befell Mac and she decided to take some time away from the party. Grabbing her coat, she made her way past her co-workers and outside onto AJ's porch. The night was cold, but nice, peaceful. Every single star in the sky was shining brightly. It had been earlier that year when she stood on the porch with Harm discussing the twists and turns of their odd relationship. It was then that all of her resolve crumbled and she realized that no matter who she was with, Harmon Rabb was etched in her heart forever. He was that one scar that would always show and never really heal. And the kiss, THAT kiss. The memory was permanently burned into her. Harm looked so sad when they parted as probably did she. All Mac wanted to do then was take him into her arms and forget about her wedding and his girlfriend. Sighing, she leaned against the banister caught up in memories of the roller coaster that was her life.

Harm had noticed she was missing from the party and due to that bit of Mac intuition that he had, he was sure she was out on the porch. Grabbing his own coat, he excused himself and headed outside to find Mac leaning against the banister in thought. "I can't believe things changed so drastically." She said softly, obviously knowing it was him.

"Is it bad that they changed?" He leaned up against the wall, studying her for a moment.

"Change can be a good thing." But she sounded unsure and distant, it scared him.

Something was bugging her, he didn't know what and only hoped that she would tell him. Slowly, he walked up next to her and smiled. "Change can be a great thing."

Mac nodded, closed her eyes and swallowed. Not all change was good and not all change meant things were headed in a right direction. "But it can also bring trouble."

He nodded solemnly. "Yea it can."

Mac straightened and moved closer to him, keeping only a few inches apart. "When you kissed me that night. . .I know it was wrong, but. . . for that moment when our lips met, it felt right. . . I felt I belonged to someone. . . really, truly belonged to someone."

Sighing, he moved his hands around her and held on loosely. "I know. . ."

Her lips twisted up into a grin as she rocked with him, almost dancing very slowly. "This feels right."

"I love you, Sarah. . ."

Now that was something he rarely called her. Smiling shyly, Mac picked an imaginary piece of lint from his coat and smoothed her hands over his shoulders. "I like it when you call me that. . . in private." She clarified. IT was nice to hear him call her Sarah, but that was reserved for intimate settings. She knew that to Harm, she'd always be Mac and she wouldn't want it any other way. He moved his head lower to capture her lips, but Mac stopped him. "It's almost midnight. . . twenty seconds and counting."

Harm couldn't help but chuckle. "You ever going to teach me to do that?"

"When I figure out how _I _can do that, sure." She gave him a playful wink and wrapped her arms around him.

"Countdown?"

Mac closed her eyes and started counting back from ten. "Ten. . . nine. . .eight. . .seven. . . six. . . five . . . four. . .three . . . two. . . one. . . Happy New Year." Her words repeated with the group inside who was a fraction of a second off. Opening her eyes, she found his gazing lovingly at her. She smiled as Harm bent down to kiss her, keeping the old lover's tradition. They kissed deeply, passionately and Harm just wrapped his arms even tighter around her. When they broke apart, Mac kissed the tip of his nose and giggled. "Your nose it cold."

"We can warm each other up later." He said with a twinkle in his eyes, but he felt an urge to kiss her again before they headed back inside so he did.

AJ went around greeting everyone as normally happened during the new year, when he noticed that Harm and Mac were missing. Stepping towards the French door that lead the way to his porch, he stopped and chuckled. "Well, would you look at that?"

The rest of the JAG crew peaked out through windows, doors and any other way possible to find Harm and Mac still deeply lost in a kiss. Well, several kisses. It was the catcalls and whistles that brought the two love struck officers back to the real world.

Mac looked at her friends and laughed along with Harm. "Well, the secret is out."

As Harm led Mac back into the house, Bud raised his glass and offered a toast. "To Harm and Mac."

When the hum drum of the New Year wound down, Harm and Mac were surprised to see just how many people were backing them. Even more amusing was the office pool that had been started the day a former Marine Major had joined the ranks at JAG. Everyone at the party had to laugh when AJ basically ordered Harm and Mac to keep it out of the office as well as get married within the next year.

The ride home for the dynamic duo was fun filled. Harm was attempting to keep the car straight on the road as Mac was attempting to be blatantly sexy. He was tempted to just park the car on the side of the road and have his way with her, but that didn't seem appropriate. Harm could just imagine the police catching them and then they would never hear the end of it back at JAG. Suffice to say, the New Year was looking to be a rather pleasant one. However, they didn't know that someone from their recent past, had found a way to put a wedge between them.  
  
--  
Froggy - I am sorry, but she will make some sort of appearance. It's okay though! We'll all hold hands and hate her together.

XBlue - Nah, the cooties were not received from me. I lysol the story before posting. :D I wouldn't want to give this to my worst enemy. . .Well. . .Muahaha.

Zeil - Yes you do have some catching up! Thanks for dropping a line :)

Navy Babe - Bask in the in the fluffyness and togetherness, the end result won't be so bad, trust me.

Nikki - Conflict rocks, things shouldn't be all fluffy all the time, would give you guys a tooth ache! LOL!

LtJGMeg - This SHOULD have happened on the show. I mean, hook them up and screw around with them. It works! methinks!


	9. Episode 1: Hawk and Sam

Okay, this part is still not a cause to start freaking out, or maybe it is. ;) Some will remember I was writing once a story where the JAG crew was watching a TV show female Navy pilot, Male ex-Recon Marine. . . This is the story. Which, I am happy to say, I have figured out how it's going to go... etc. You'll see what I mean and in the middle here will be an Authors Note (AN:) with some additional information. grin I have probably confused a lot of people... good, I love confusion. ;)

Jackie – Still wondering how many licks it takes to get to the tootsie roll center of a tootsie pop. :D

Part 9 - Episode 1: Hawk and Sam  
1350 Zulu  
JAG Headquarters  
Falls Church, Virginia

"It's supposed to be a really cool new show, I mean they are even using stock footage from Hunt for Red October, Top Gun, and a bunch of other military flicks." Bud gushed to his co-workers as they did their regular early morning congregation in the office kitchen.

A month or so after the new year, hum drum began on a military show that ZBS was airing called 'ZULU'. Some of the entertainment news stations had dubbed it one of the best shows on TV even before it had premiered and it was starting to catch the eye of most military personnel who were usually interested in anything work related. Of course at the mention of anything about a submarine, Sturgis perked up. "Hunt for Red October is a great movie."

"Said the bubblehead." Harm teased, jabbing Sturgis lightly in the ribs. "Can you pass me the cream?"

Mac stepped in next, chatting with Harriet about some book both of them were reading. "That chapter was insane. . .Don't read it when everything is dark, trust me, you'll have nightmares."

Harm chuckled and stared at the women. "See, she spends ONE night without me, and already she is having nightmares."

"I wasn't the one calling you last night at one am because I wanted to hear your voice." She quipped, mentally laughing as Harm seemed to pale and then turn bright red.

Sturgis laughed and padded Harm on the back. "Admit it buddy, you are smitten."

"Is that a bad thing?" He said smile widening when Mac tossed a napkin that hit him squarely on the chest. "I am taking that as a no."

"Ma'am, the Commander's and I were discussing that new show ZULU." Bud said enthusiastically as he rummaged through the cabinets for a power bar. "Supposed to be highly dramatic."

Mac raised an eyebrow. Ever since she and Harm had become a couple, they barely watched TV unless it was something they rented (Non of which they made it through) or the news in the morning. "ZULU, huh? Couldn't come up with a better name?"

"It was actually called UCMJ, but some of the higher-ups decided to change it as to not cause problems with the military."

Harm snorted. "I can't believe people would actually want to watch a TV show about JAG lawyers. Wouldn't they be bored out of their minds?"

"Well, if they did a story on your mis-adventures, I bet you recruitment would skyrocket." Sturgis said with a chuckle.

"Oh yea. . . Navy lawyer slash fighter pilot fights his feelings as well as the weather to fly his partner slash the woman he is in love with, to the man she is supposed to marry." Mac raised her eyebrow in amusement. "I bet that would make the soap opera network happy. . . So I take ZULU is a military show?"

"Yes, Ma'am. . .It starts tonight at 9." Smiling, he left the kitchen with his coffee and power bar, Harriet following after him.

Then one by one everyone dispersed except for Harm who was preparing coffee for Mac.

"Lemme guess, I bet you wanna watch ZULU?"

Mac shrugged. "Only if a tall, handsome sailor would like to watch with me."

"It's a date." Harm groaned as Mac purposely brushed by him, reaching over to grab a bagel. She turned to the fridge, grabbed the jelly and smothered it all over the bagel licking her fingertips.

Innocently, she smiled up at him and took a bite, slowly licking jelly from her lower lip. "See you later, Harm."

Sighing, Harm pointed at her as she left. "You're going to pay for that later, MacKenzie."

0157 Zulu  
Mac's Apartment  
Georgetown

Mac was straddling Harm's lap, chuckling as he worked on trying to remove the button of the shirt (HIS shirt) that she was wearing. "Ummm, we are going to miss the show."

"We'll just work on one of our own." He laughed, capturing her lips. The credits of the show began rolling to some modern orchestrated version of "When Johnny Comes Marching Home."

Turning slightly to glance at the TV, Mac managed to catch a glimpse at the opening credits and characters. "Umm. . . male lead is a Marine. . . female lead is a pilot." She deduced by their clothing.

The word 'pilot' should have perked Harm up, but he was a bit busy. Letting out an exasperated groan, he looked up at her. "What did you do? SUPERGLUE the buttons on?" He was tempted to just rip the shirt off, had it not been that she was wearing his favorite, the one he would wear when he just wanted to relax around the house. Sticking his tongue out in concentration, Harm fumbled with the buttons, groaning as Mac moved on his lap. Finally, he managed to undo one button, then another. "Aha!" Grinning, he looked up at Mac, placed his hands on her thighs and waggled his eyebrows. "Where were we?"

Mac grabbed his hands and pulled them away from her thighs. "We were going to watch the show?" She really did want to see what the big deal was about. But that thought went flying at the window when Harm started tracing one finger along the hem of her jeans. She bit her lower lip, trying so hard not to succumb, but the sad puppy dog look he gave her was crumbling her resolve. Harm just chuckled when her lips came crashing down on his own. "Screw the show. . .Just take me now, Harm."

There was someone of an introduction in the first instances of the show and hearing the rumble of some sort of plane, Harm peaked over Mac's shoulder. "Oooh, a Tomcat." Grinning, he sat up, trying to pay attention and ignore that Mac's mouth was fused to his neck. "Mac, hang on." Trying to move her from on top of him only resulted in some sort of playful tug of war which resulted in the sofa flipping over with Harm and Mac still in it. "Ooof." Recovering from the slight shock, he glanced at Mac and both began chuckling and then kissing. "Well, glad to see that didn't shake the mood."

"Harm? Shut up." Mac claimed his lips again, teasing his mouth open as her tongue grazed his lower lip. The show would be partially forgotten as they succumbed to a lover's embrace in a pool of clothing. . .

(The next parts are going to have strange titles. Basically, their will be parts of what our characters would be watching if they tuned into the hot new military drama 'ZULU' – Lame name but I went through a few and let's just say the producer is a bit umm flaky. ;)) Eventually, you'll see where I am going with this. Think Media finding out that it's a true story and Harm and Mac winding up on TV. Now, how the producer found out these private stories is going to be interesting. ;) I know where the story is going, so have no fear! The biggest issue is changing the "episodes a bit" since I'll be basing them on actual JAG episodes. . .You'll see what I mean, trust me. .. or just follow blindly! Hehehe! Side note, anything dealing with what is going on in the "show" will be split between lines - - - - - To not cause confusion.)

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"Following in her father's footsteps as a Naval aviator, Lt. Commander Samantha MacKie suffered a crash against the deck of an aircraft carrier. Wanting to remain in the Navy, Sam transferred to the Judge Advocate General Corps, a group of military officers that investigate crimes against their own. There, along with her partner Marine Major Hakan (pronounced: Haw-Kan) Rapp, she will fight in and out of the courtroom to protect the laws of the military while resisting their feelings for one another. Is it possible to find love in military life?"

Admiral JC Chloe, the JAG himself, walked through the grounds at Anapolis with a beatiful, brunette, Lt. Commander Samantha MacKie. "I know that sometimes sailors don't get along with jarheads, but I except things to be professional with you and the Major. . . am I clear, Commander?"

"Crystal, sir." She said with a smile that normally stopped men dead in their tracks. It was something she had 'inherited' from her father along with the cocky, egomaniacal pilot attitude that made her all the more attractive. Sam was tall, slim, with shoulder length brown hair and beautiful brown eyes.

Stopping just a few feet short from a Marine, Admiral Chloe stopped. "Lt. Commander Samantha MacKie, meet your partner, Marine Major Hakan Rapp."

The Marine, a tall, brown hair, blue eyed, sexy man stood before the Naval officer and smiled, taking her hand in a small guarded gesture. "You can call me, Hawk."

There was a flashback on the screen of a man that looked similar to the Marine officer, but in a worse condition, he was dead. "Sam." She said, unsurely taking the Marine's hand and shaking. "Sorry, I just had a moment of déjà vu." She said, shaking the cobwebs lose, but not fully coming to grasp that her new partner looked so much like her dead lover.

Hawk smiled brightly eyes locking onto his new partner. "Must be the uniform."

"No, he was. . .Navy."

The Admiral stared at the two, shaking his head at the awkward meeting. "Don't get to close, you're going to be working together."

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The whole exchange on TV was nearly lost on Harm and Mac, except for the word 'Navy.' Mac had to laugh, when, in the middle of making love, Harm had stopped and yelled. "GO NAVY!"

Now, after the show had ended and both had been sated, they lay together, still on the floor covered up in an afghan. Harm was kissing Mac as her hand ran slow lazy circles over his chest. "I am sorry I made you miss the show, Mac."

Shrugging, she leaned in and kissed him again. "I think our show was better." Sitting up, she stretched, trying to work out the knots from making wild, passionate love on the floor. Managing to stand, she offered Harm a hand and helped him get up as well. "C'mon, flyboy. . . let's head to bed." She had to stop and chuckle as a naked Harmon Rabb was flipping her couch right side up.

"What?" He said, moving his arms across his chest.

Mac enjoyed the view for all that it was worth, feeling a sense of overwhelming happiness that they had gotten to a place where they could be free together, not embarrassed, not awkward. "Nothing. . ." Smiling, she took his hand and led the way to her bedroom.

(AN2: I decided to flip things around make the guy a Marine and the girl the Navy pilot. If you notice there are similar things in their names Hakan "Hawk" Rapp, and Samantha "Sam" McKie. Like their initials. I was going to make Sam's moniker more like Mac's but that would be a bit difficult seeing as it has to do with her last name and I wanted to keep her last name close but not too close to MacKenzie.)


	10. Episode 2: Avenging His Death

Wow! Thanks for the feedback. Glad several people thought I did well or that this is "cool." Was a pain to type up because I knew what I wanted to do but didn't know how it would flow without totally confusing people. (Something I am good at apparently ;))

I had a couple of people suggesting that someone from the office would see the show and tell Harm and Mac about it. Well, not really. A lot of Harm and Mac moments happen without other people around. Also, why would anyone else remember it? We, as fans, remember what happened because we read it, watch it and hear about it. We can pop in a VHS tape an recall things, but if it's your life, you wouldn't really have such a detailed memory about something your friends did, especially with the slue of things Harm and Mac have gone through. Also, few of their close friends are watching the show. Also, the only one who would have an inkling about the Harm and Mac dynamic is Bud. Sturgis is new and AJ doesn't hang around with Harm and Mac as much as Bud did.

Okay, I think that made sense. ;) Hang on to your. . . uh. . . whatever you hang on to, from here on out, it'll get bumpy. I am also "condensing" the show ZULU simply because there are WAAAAAAAAAY too many JAG episodes I can borrow story lines from. So, rather than make it a regular show, the producers for ZULU have decided to make it a mini-series. ;) In other words, picture yourself watching JAG and instead of getting one story line per show, you basically get a canned version of what happened during several episodes. If I don't do it this way, I'll run out of Harm and Mac interaction to put in the chapters. You'll see what I mean. :P

Enjoy,   
Jackie

XBlueShadowX, LieutenantjgMegAustin , maidenpride21, froggy0319, Navy Babe, Hieros Gamos, Charmboy4, blonde-brain, Anaika Skywalker, Charmboy4, zeilfanaat, Nikki, jaggurl, achaon, cbw, Manda May, FoxyWombat, zeilfanaat, Jackia, DD2 & Jenny, for all the feedback. :)

PART 10 - Episode 2: Avenging His Death

Episode 1 was a two hour dramatic history of both Hawk and Sam. Viewers found out about Hawk's abusive father and brushes with alcohol and the law. Sam was the Navy poster child, with somewhat of a shady past and the inability to care for someone very deeply because she never got over her father disappearing so many years ago. Episode two began in Sam's apartment. Hawk had arrived in order to discuss a case they were working on when he found her holding a gun with a far off look in her eyes.

Hawk had somehow managed to get her to open up about her past and one Lt. David James, the love of her life. Glancing down at various pictures of Sam and David, Hawk visibly shivered at the likeness between him and the Lieutenant. He was the reason Sam was so bent out of shape. She was planning on murdering the woman who had taken David's life so many years ago.

In the pouring rain, after hours of investigation, Hawk deduced that Sam would be by the dock's awaiting her lovers murderer. So he headed off, but not before changing into the outfit of a Naval officer as his own clothes were soaked from running out in the rain trying to stop Sam from ruining her life.

Hawk raced his car down the streets of DC and to the docks of Norfolk where he brought his SUV to a screeching stop. From his vantage point, he could see Sam and another woman. Fog was obstructing the view, but he could clearly see the gun in Sam's hand. "Oh God." Racing through the fog, he headed towards the two women, hoping to stop his partner from doing something completely stupid. "No Sam!" He cried out, stopping for a moment in order to take a breath.

The other woman, a Lieutenant, took a good look a Hawk and immediately froze. "Oh God. . . I don't believe in Ghosts. . . I don't. . . oh God, David. . . I'm. . . sorry, I didn't mean to. . . No. . . Oh GOD!" Turning, she ran off blindly, barely noticing how close to the dock she really was. Tripping over one of the thick ropes that tethered the ship to the dock, the Lieutenant fell overboard. Her body was crushed between the hull of the ship and the dock.

"Oh God. . ." Hawk gulped, looking down into the water and then towards Sam. "She's dead. . ."

"She thought you were David's Ghost. . ." Stopping short, Sam looked at him wearing the Naval uniform, déjà vu meant nothing, at the moment, he was a spitting image of David.

"I didn't think about that, it was soaked." Sheepishly he smiled at her. "I needed something to wear. . ." Sighing, he looked between the water and her. "Would you have done it, Sam?"

"We'll never know." Slowly, she inched her way towards him, both caught in some angst filled moment. She brought her hands behind his head, easing him down so that she could kiss him.

At that moment, Hawk couldn't think, only feel. He and Sam had been partners for a short while, but already the chemistry between them had been explosive. The need to kiss her overwhelmed him and he was slightly disappointed when she pulled away. The sad, confused look in her eyes spoke volumes. "You don't have to say a thing Sam. . . I know you were kissing him."

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1845 Zulu   
JAG Headquarters   
Falls Church, Virginia

Harm was having a good day. He'd kick the pants out of Sturgis in the courtroom, just got commended for a job well done from the Admiral and, for the first time in a couple of weeks, he was going to be able to take 'Sarah' up for a spin. Horrid weather for the last couple of weeks had kept him on the ground and, now that Mac seemed to be trusting him more with airplanes, he was dying to take her out and picnic somewhere in the woods. Maybe they'd even be able to stay overnight. Glancing at his watch, he couldn't wait for the day to be over, that would mean they were one day closer to Saturday. "Chatting with Bud, Harriet?" He said, sneaking up behind his friend who quickly hid the Instant Messenger window.

Flustered, she smiled up at Harm and cleared her throat before speaking up. "I am sorry, sir. . . I know it is working hours but. . ."

He flashed his famous flyboy grin and sat at the edge of Harriet's desk. "I know it's difficult, Lieutenant. . . How's Bud handling being day back at sea?"

"Well, you know how it goes, sir. Once a sailor, always a sailor." It had been a rough couple of days for her. The notion that it would probably be months before she saw her husband again, was making her rather melancholic. But, the experience would be good for him, something that he needed in order to get a leg up on the promotion list. "He misses us all like crazy."

Harm nodded in agreement, the last couple of days without Bud had been rather boring. He always brought something special to the office with his presence. Though, they all knew he would eventually be back, Harm feared that the billet would take longer than expected and that Harriet would suffer from it. As a special request from Bud, he, Mac and Sturgis were keeping a watch on the Lieutenant. "We miss him to. . ." Standing up, Harm sighed. "Harriet, just make sure Singer doesn't find you IMing Bud, last thing you need is to cross paths with her."

"We already have, sir. . . but, it's alright. I know how to handle her."

"That's what I am afraid of." Harm said, chuckling. Harriet was sweet, but he knew she also had a fiery side that one should fear. "If you need anything, you know where to find me."

"Ah. . . actually, sir? Do you know anything about refrigerators? Mine. . uh, died last night."

Harm nodded, he'd fixed some of his own appliances before. "Sure, I'll swing by later tonight." Checking his watch Harm noted it was nearly time for lunch. "I'll catch you later, I promised Mac lunch." Heading towards Mac's office to see if she was able to catch lunch with him, Harm stopped dead in his tracks. Glancing in he found Mac, sitting in one of her guest chairs, laughing along with another man, obviously not a client. Upon further inspection, he found the man to be non-other than former Colonel John Farrow. He resisted the urge to just bust in through the door like a caveman and whisk Mac away from Farrow's clutches. Taking a few quick breaths, Harm managed to civilly knock on her door and wait for Mac to bellow. "Enter."

Walking in with a fake smile, he stood just behind the chairs. "Mac, I was coming to see if you wanted to have lunch?" He ignored Farrow who was looking up at him with a smile. The guy really wasn't a bad guy, but he saw how flustered Mac got around Farrow and that, to Harm, meant trouble.

"Commander Rabb, you do remember Colonel John Farrow?" Mac pointed towards John and smiled.

"Colonel, of course." Taking Farrow's hand, he gave an unnecessary firm grip and shook a bit harder than he should have. Mac noted the exchange and the ill display from Harm and felt slightly flattered. Slightly, the other part of her wanted to kick his ass. She stood, walked to her door and closed it, as Harm had just left it open.

Slipping his hand out of Harm's death grip, Farrow flexed his hand a few times to get the feeling back. "Actually, you can call me John, Commander. . . I am retired."

"What brings you back to JAG? Needing a lawyer again?" Taking Mac's chair, Harm slid between the two, hoping that would force Mac to sit across from them in the chair behind her desk. Instead though, he nearly cursed as she took a seat right on the edge of her desk right between him and Farrow.

Farrow chuckled happily and glanced up at Mac. "Actually, no. . . I was in town and decided to visit Sarah."

'Sarah?' Harm groaned inwardly. 'How dare he call her SARAH?. . . that god damned slime ball!' And it wasn't just that he called her Sarah, it was the way he said it. Farrow, even when he and Mac were on trial for murder, would always say Mac's given name in such a way that it sounded intimate. It had always made Harm's skin crawl and at the moment he was having some difficulty with a certain evil green monster. Clearing his throat to hopefully break Farrow's gaze on Mac, Harm plastered another fake smile. "So, Colonel, lunch?" His attempt of a sweet smile was totally obliterated.

Mac gave him a look at that would kill. "Actually, I'll take a rain check, John and I are going to head out in a minute."

Harm couldn't help the sullen expression that befell his face. In his minds eye he saw himself, rushing Farrow and slamming him into Mac's office wall before beating him to a bloody pulp. "I see. . . may I speak with you in private?" At her pissed off expression, Harm smiled. "It'll just be a minute."

Mac walked outside of her office, moving her arms across her chest. "What the hell has gotten into you?"

"I can not believe you are going out to lunch with John Farrow." Harm spat at her, insulted that she would go to lunch with anyone but him. "Were you even going to TELL me he was here?"

Mac took a step back, a bit perplexed at just what had Harm wound up. Sure, she had a history with Farrow, but that was it, history. She loved Harm and not even John Farrow would get in-between that. "Harm, it's just lunch. . ."

"You had a relationship with the guy." Harm said a little too loudly causing just about everyone in the bullpen to stop and watch the couple.

Angrily, Mac tugged Harm into his office, slamming his door behind them. "Why don't you say it a little louder? I want the people on the Hill to know."

"I can't believe you'd do this to me." He was pacing now like a caged animal.

"I am not doing anything to you, Harm. . . we're having lunch, that's it." Mac sighed and placed a hand on his arm to stop him from pacing. "He's no threat to you, okay. . . I'm IN LOVE with you. . . WITH YOU. . . NOT John."

"But you have feelings for him." He spat back, envy clearly evident.

"I have respect for him and maybe some sort of love for him. He helped me out a lot. . ."

Snorting, Harm pulled his arm away from her and resumed pacing. "Yea, including helping you become a lawyer. . .so did you sleep with him to get into law school?"

Mac resisted the urge to slap him. "That was uncalled for, and if you just didn't want me to have lunch with him you could have said so. . . not act like a total jerk."

Harm didn't see himself acting like a total jerk, he had a valid reason for fearing Mac's involvement with Farrow. "You know what Mac? You are going to do whatever you want to do anyway no matter what I say. . . so just go and have fun with JOHN." He said through gritted teeth, trying to control his anger once again. It was the first time that anyone since Brumby had made him feel so out of control in respect to Mac.

"Harm, I don't want to fight. . ." She attempted to place her hand on the red spot on his cheek, but he just brushed her arm away.

"Too late."

"What about dinner tonight?" Certainly, something could be salvaged couldn't it?

"I have work to do." Harm said, retreating behind his desk and pretending to be busy with files, when he really had nothing left to do.

Mac stood with one hand on her hip, irritation started growing. "I thought you were coming over."

"No, but I am sure JOHN would love to." Angrily, Harm chucked a pen at his desk and plopped down into his chair.

"I hate it when you are like this." She reached for the knob and turned it, pausing slightly to wait for some sort of comment from Harm.

"You hate everything about me."

"No I don't, but maybe I should. . ." She pulled the door hard, making it slam shut. Harm watched helplessly as she retreated. It was his own damned fault and he knew it, but he couldn't help the way he felt when it came to other men and Mac. He'd lost her too many times before to have some man from the past just swoop her away again. "Damnit." He cursed.

2345 ZULU   
Robert's Residence   
Rosslyn, Virginia

The curse words came flying from behind the refrigerator. Along with a very loud "Oww!" that had Harriet running into the kitchen to see what had happened. She was glad that AJ was in his room playing with his toys, but couldn't help but chuckle at the words the sailor in her kitchen was dropping. Harm had gotten no where. Duct tape didn't work and it was hell to try and remove anything from behind the contraption in such a cramped up space. So, he hadn't exactly fixed kitchen appliances before. Either that, or Harriet's fridge was a spawn from hell.

"You seem awfully quiet, Commander." Harriet noted that he had barely said more than two words to her during the half hour he was working on her fridge. Well, except for the menagerie of curse words. "Is something wrong?"

Harm looked around the appliance finding his friend with a rather concerned expression on her face. She had heard the argument. Hell, the people in the White House probably heard the argument. "I ah. . ." Sighing, he squeezed out of his spot, stood up to his full height and slumped against the entryway to the kitchen. "We had a fight." He normally wasn't one to divulge information about his relationships, but he figured that maybe a bit of woman's intuition was in order. Not to mention, Harriet was married, had a loving husband, a cute kid and life just seem to work for them.

"Well, yes, I noticed that, sir. . .uh, Harm." After handing Harm a coke, she went around the kitchen table, sliding into one of the chairs and offering the other to Harm who looked as though he was on the front lines, not fixing a fridge. (Like there is a difference?) "Anything I can do to help?"

"Knock some sense into, Mac?" He quipped, sliding into the proffered chair. Sighing he brought his head down to the table, slamming it lightly causing Harriet to worry. The action gave him a headache. "I was a jerk, I know I was. . . but, I wasn't unreasonable. How would you feel if Bud had a pretty woman in his office that he had a previous. . . thing with. . . wouldn't you be a little. . pissed?"

Harriet cleared her throat. "Well, uh. . . I've played the jealous game with Bud before. It didn't really end up very well." She watched Harm bring his head up and look at her with a silly expression on his face.

"I remember you two not talking for. . . what? Months?"

"Weeks." She offered, taking a sip of her own soda. "Harm, if you love Mac, you need to trust her." Smirking, she stood, went towards the kitchen sink and got a rag for him to clean up the smudge marks on his face. "I would also start preparing to grovel, sir."

Grovel, he'd done that before. Actually, he'd done that more times that he could count and not just with Mac. It seemed that with women, in general, he just couldn't stop screwing up. But, Mac wasn't just any woman, she was everything to him which is why he was so jealous of Farrow. He knew, better than anyone the relationship that they had and it wasn't just an affair. Mac cared for Farrow, maybe even loved him deeply. That type of love wasn't easily erased. It was similar to what he felt for Diane, at least, that's how he figured it was. "Grovel huh?"

"Oh, yes sir. . . and lots of it." Harriet placed a hand on his shoulder at his look of apprehension. "According to the schedule, she and Turner are off for a case on the Seahawk, that gives you time to plan an attack."

"Plan an attack? Jesus, Harriet, you sound like the Admiral."

Smiling, she patted him on the shoulder. "That's where I picked it up, sir. . . Sometimes, certain things needed to be planned as if you are going into battle."

He couldn't disagree with that logic, but it was still going to be hell planning his groveling attack on Mac.

(AN: The argument was a necessary evil. And it really wasn't an argument, but a misunderstanding. Which is something that has always occurred between Harm and Mac and won't ever change, I don't think. Don't worry. . . eventually they'll smarten up.)

Zeil - Glad you are caught up! :)  Good luck with homework!

Blonde - I thought it was cool. :)

XBlue - Deep breaths!! Deep Breaths!  Calix will help you figure it out. . . I have spoken! ;)

Foxy - I am going all over the place and making people's head spin apparently. :/

LtjgMeg - LOL! Yea, I thought that would be a funny comment. :)  If things at JAG really happened like they do to Harm and Mac, all the adrenaline junkies would be lawyers. ;)

NavyBabe - The producer. . . you know her, I think. . ::goes back and reads:: umm... YES you know her! ;)  Yes, you mentioned how much you loved chapter 9, can you mention it again?  ::smiles innocently::

Charmboy - You've seen a show like that?! WHAT?!  ::pouts:: Kidding! :) Yep, Sam is Harm and Hawk is Mac.  LOL!

Hieros - They are cute, Harm and I though, even cuter!  I got dibs on him. . er, at least until I finish this story. ;)  But, since I am busy this week, you can borrow him!  Just shine up his wings before you give em back! :D

Froggy - Reasons why I wish JAG was on HBO. ;)  Harm naked. ::thud::

Harmfan - Personally, I think Harm should have been slapped a few times. (and I am apparently not the only one that feels this way.)  As for Mac, looooooooads of therapy is needed, that's all.


	11. Episode 3: The Day She Left To Fly

Alrighty. I am hoping to have 1 other part posted tomorrow night and then nothing until anytime between Sunday-Tuesday. Boss is away so that leaves me to deal with 12 hrs of work and all of that jazz. I tend to sneak in some paragraphs if the days are slow, but they haven't been slow so. . . gotta deal. Roughly, I believe the story will have 5 more parts, if I can find a way to extended it I will. Thus far 14 parts have been written.

I've been writing another one. While I was sick the last couple of weeks I didn't go out at all, I barely slept cos I was too stuffed up to breathe, so I was up at 4am writing. Fun, huh? Anyway, the next story will be called "Getting Away With Murder." (Yep, stole the title from the Papa Roach song of the same name Hehehe! The new CD rocks!) and It'll be different. Mac's an NCIS agent, Harm is. . . well, Harm. ;) I don't watch NCIS at all, so, we'll see how it goes. It is a shipper story, but due to the animosity between Harm and NCIS the first few chapters, the Harm and Mac interaction is amusing. I caught myself laughing a few times at the partner I invented for Mac. Harm and Mac will be working together, though, joint NCIS/JAG murder investigation, a serial killer. Enough about that.. . . on ward with this nutty story. Yes, I am out of my mind, but that is only cos it's dark and scary in there. :)

Enjoy!

Jackie

PS: Sorry for sucha short chappie! Sometimes it happens. :P

PART 11 - Episode 3: The Day She Left To Fly

The sign on the TV had signified that a year had passed by since the second episode. Most of the episode, as it had been done in the other two, showed a jumble of scenes of things that had happened during that past year. It was something that was upsetting viewers and critics, but, never-the-less, people tuned in to watch. According to information on the show, it wasn't meant to go on for more than a handful of episodes, something of an extended mini-series.

This week recapped what occurred when Hawk and Sam had headed to Siberia, risking life and limb in order to find out the truth of Sam's father. He had died there, killed by an assassin's bullet as he tried to rescue a woman he was in love with. Her father's grave was never found and though she received some closure, she was still left with no place to grieve at.

Hawk had faced some of his own demons, his father was dying. In one last attempt to connect father and son, he was summoned to his father's death bed. Angry at his father, he nearly let rage consume him for his lost childhood and the wild life that nearly took his life. He had also dealt with the return of a wife, the woman he'd forgotten to divorce and ended up shooting by mistake. Sam had defended him and won, still, he was being punished for his actions.

There were scenes of a case and Hawk frowning as Sam's eyes grew wide with happiness over the sight of F-14s. He didn't want her to return to flying, but there was nothing he could do. A good friend would be happy for her so he had to try and swallow his hurt feelings and let her go. . .

Hawk was seated in her chair, arms across his chest, waiting. He needed to be the last person to say goodbye, hoping that maybe something he would say could stop Sam from leaving. His eyes lifted up as she headed into her office for what would most likely be the last time. And he knew, the moment her eyes met his that she had made up her mind. "You can't leave without saying goodbye."

Sam smiled at him, tugging him out of her chair and onto his feet. "You are the one that ran in here. . hiding from me, Major?"

The smiled at each other, but the mood quickly grew somber. She was leaving JAG, leaving him. . .how was he to go on without her? "Want me to water your plants?"

"I don't have any." Sam placed a hand on his forearm and frowned. "You don't have to be so sad. . ."

Moving slowly, he came to a stop just in front of her. "Damnit, I have so much to tell you, Sam. . . I just. . .just can't find the words."

"I know." Sighing, she brought her arms around him, bringing him close for a fierce hug that was more intimate than it was friendly. Parting, they stared at each other again, both wavering slightly, fighting a kiss that they longed to share. Instead, Hawk stepped backward and saluted his colleague, wishing only the best for her.

Sam took the box on her desk and walked off, almost in slow motion as she meandered through the bullpen towards the elevator. Stepping in, she turned, glancing out one last time at everyone who had made her life so much better. Her eyes settled on Hawk one last time. The look in his eyes one of secret love and respect, something that her own look shone.

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0159 Zulu   
AJ Chegwidden's House   
McLean, Virginia

AJ cringed as his girlfriend, Professor Meredith Cavanaugh, a lovely woman Mac had, somehow managed to set him up with, cried at the scene on the TV. They had been together a little over a month and a half now and things were going very well for the new couple. "AJ, that is just heartbreaking. . . you can tell they love each other."

It had been the first time he'd managed to catch 'ZULU' on the air, and if this was all it was promising, it would be the last. "I thought there would be some cases?"

Meredith took a Kleenex, blowing hard before looking up at AJ with tearstained eyes. "There are some, but it's basically about Hawk and Sam. . . oh, AJ, my heart goes out to them."

Shaking his head, AJ flipped off the TV and wrapped his arms tightly around Meredith, soothing his hands up and down her back. If there was one thing he found very amusing about 'ZULU' was how it remind him about Harm and Mac. Didn't something like that happen years ago when Rabb was returning to a squadron? For all of his intelligence, AJ just shrugged it off, Rabb and MacKenzie weren't the only officers who probably shared some odd relationship. It was all a moot point.

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0200 Zulu   
Harm's Apartment   
North Of Union Station

The night wound up being quite the cold one, both emotionally and physically. He hadn't spoken with Mac in nearly one week since that spat in her office. Now, she was somewhere out on the Seahawk with Sturgis and Harm was miserable. The days without her were boring, meaningless. He hated himself at the moment, hated that he had to do the typical pig headed male thing and get jealous at a man she swore she had nothing with rather than trust she was telling him the truth. Grabbing the phone, he decided to give into his longing and swallow his pride. Dialing her number, he waited patiently for the machine to pick up, she would be home sometime that night or in the early morning. "Mac. . . it's me. . .uh, Harm. . . I. . ." Sighing, he ran a hand through his hair and swallowed a few times. "I am sorry for arguing with you, for being. . . for not trusting you. . .come home, to me. . . please, forgive me. . . I love you."

In her side of town Mac sat in her sofa curled up with her afghan, a book and a cup of herbal tea. She had Sturgis had arrived from the investigation just a few short hours ago. Though she was exhausted, she was too tired to sleep. She was lucky to have Sturgis in their lives. He was a good man, caring and wanting nothing but the best for his friends. It was him that suggested she let Harm stew for a while. Stubborn people like Harm only seemed to learn when forced to deal directly with something. She heard his message and was tempted to pick up the phone, but she was just too tired to speak to him. Instead, she went back to reading. Eventually, they would work it out, they always did. "I love you too."

One Week Later   
1902 Zulu   
JAG Headquarters   
Falls Church, Virginia

Mac couldn't help but chuckle when another courier walked into her office with yet another vase full of roses. For the past week, she had been receiving gifts from Harm, all with the words "I'm sorry & I love you." Monday it had been chocolates, Tuesday it was stuffed animals, Wednesday it was a Mariachi band singing Chicago's "Hard To Say I'm Sorry." (Even the Admiral was amused with that one.) Thursday, it was wild flowers and today, Friday, it was roses, lots of roses. In fact, her office looked more like a flower shop. She had forgiven him a week ago, but there was something about the whole 'letting him stew' that she decided to draw out. At least until Saturday night, as Mac was planning on having a rather nice romantic 'make up' dinner with Harm. She'd even bought a dress, a black, sexy number that hugged her curves like a second skin and left little to the imagination.

Mac's plan was to leave a note on his desk for him to go over to her place tomorrow. They would talk first, explore the ramifications of trusting and not trusting. After that, a little seduction was in order. Not that she needed to seduce Harm, but having him squirm was going to be fun.

"Ahem, uh. . Ma. . . Colonel?" Harm shyly appeared at his door holding files for the case that they were working on together. The Admiral had sensed some strain between the two, but, at least, they were keeping the arguments out of the office, so he took a chance and stuck them to work on same case, on the same side. "Prosecution added to their list of witnesses."

Mac waved him in and took the file, glancing through the list of names. "Is Singer INSANE?" The list had at least thirty names, apparently the Lieutenant was playing the petty game of trying to bury important witnesses somewhere among the massive list of names. "I say we start first thing Monday. . ."

Harm nodded. "I agree, I put Harriet on the case to help us weed through some of them."

"Bud is on the prosecution, you sure that is a bright idea?"

Sheepishly he shrugged. "We have a job to do here, it's nothing personal." Taking a breath, he watched Mac for a moment not really able to figure her out. If she was angry with him, she sure wasn't showing it. Maybe she was doing that whole, keeping personal life out of the office. Whatever it was, Harm was going crazy. "Sooo."

Turning back to him, Mac raised her eyebrow. "Soooo?" She almost laughed at how cute he looked, standing there utterly confused among the roses. His eyes washing over the whole room.

"Ummm. . . did you like the umm . . roses?" He was chewing on his inner cheek, hoping she wouldn't freak out on him. The roses had been coming steadily hour upon hour since they both arrived. Fights were going to be the death of him and his bank account.

Mac smiled up at him and sniffed at the vase of roses closest to her. "They are lovely."

Harm couldn't help but smile, "I just. . . uh wanted to say. . ."

"I'm sorry, and I love you?" She smirked as he nodded shyly and Mac could no longer contain her amusement. Chuckling, she stood, went around her desk and kissed Harm on the cheek. "My place, tomorrow night?" Harm stared at Mac in disbelief. His mouth opened and closed a few times, trying to formulate some sort of words, but noting came. Mac brought her fingers to his chin, helping him close his mouth shut. "You'll catch flies."


	12. Episode 4: Stalking

Hey gang!  Gonna try to have a next part posted over teh weekend, but that might be doubtful.  Busy, busy, busy.  Hopefully this will apease you hungry readers. Or not, we'll see. ;)

XBlueShadowX, LieutenantjgMegAustin , maidenpride21, froggy0319, Navy Babe, Hieros Gamos, Charmboy4, blonde-brain, Anaika Skywalker, Charmboy4, zeilfanaat, Nikki, jaggurl, achaon, cbw, Manda May, FoxyWombat, zeilfanaat, Jackia, DD2, xobabygurlxo, Kitty25,  Lori, amanda cook, Cristina,  & Jenny, for all the feedback. :)

Enjoy!   
Jackz.

PART 12 - Episode 4: Stalking

Hawk walked into a local bar in the middle of the afternoon. His head was pounding, veins burning to have a familiar feeling within them, a feeling he'd given up long ago with the help of his Aunt Madeline. Why he cared so much, he really didn't know, but ever since he started JAG he was hoping that there would be no deaths, at least not to those he was close to. His girlfriend, a civilian Lawyer named Lauren Dalton had been murdered just one day ago. He didn't love her, he knew he didn't, but still, the overwhelming feeling was killing him and he longed to drown it out. "Give me a vodka, straight up." He glanced at the alcohol, seeming timid and unsure. But when he held the cool glass in his hands, all rational thought was over. He drank the vodka, taking a long gulp, holding the glass with both hands.

Sam was waiting for him in her office, going over testimony with their client when Hawk stumbled in. He laughed at them, slurring slightly. "Did you do the. . cross, yet?"

Their client, a Master Chief accused of rape shook his head at the scene. Hawk literally attacked him, accusing him of a crime that they were trying to prove he didn't commit. "Major, why don't you go sober up?"

Sam looked at the Master Chief and then at Hawk, this was not a good sign. "Chief, we're done for today, see you tomorrow."

"Aye, aye, ma'am." The Chief came to attention and left Sam's office, closing the door behind him.

"What happened?" She asked Hawk, who crashed into one of the chairs across from her desk. "Oh, Hawk."

"Don't 'Oh Hawk' me!" Hawk just laughed. "So I had a drink? Don't get all up tight about it. . . You drink."

"I'm not an alcoholic." Sam said, reaching over to her phone. "I'm calling you a cab."

"You know, you think you are so pure, so righteous without any weak moments. . . but I know you Sam. . .I was there when we found out about your dad . . . I know you and your obsessions, you are just as screwed up as I am!"

Sam shook her head, disgusted at her partner's behavior. "You know? You're not just a drunk. . . you're mean drunk."

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1720 Zulu   
Georgetown Park Mall   
Washington, DC

Unable to contain her excitement over the night was planning on spending with one Harmon Rabb Jr, Mac had headed out to the mall early. She wanted to by sexy lingerie that would match her whole black dress ensemble. Sometimes it was pointless, seeing as it wouldn't remain on her person for very long, but, it was worth it just to see the expression on her beloved's face. While she was in the area, she decided to head to the spa, have a half day treatment and get her makeup and nails done. A friend of hers from law school had suggested once to her that every woman should have a spa day at least once a month. For the most part, it was something that she had kept up. She was seated on one of the mall benches, enjoying a Cappuccino before she headed off again.

"Colonel MacKenzie? How does it feel to be famous?" Turning around, Mac was face to face with non other than Michelle Dawson (AN: I made her up.), entertainment mogul for ZNN news and a real 'bitch', or so scuttlebutt had said. The woman was known as a temptress, using her good looks to get what she wanted out of people, mostly men.

Mac sighed, ever since her run in with the entertainment community during a case, she was less than wiling to deal with any reporter. Especially when said reporter had a reputation as bad a Michelle Dawson's. "Excuse me, Ms. Dawson, that I know of, non of our cases are so high profile that you need to harass a JAG lawyer on her day off." Smiling sweetly Mac picked up her bags and readied herself to walk away from the woman.

But Dawson didn't back down, she stood there, arms across her chest, defiant in screwing up someone's life. "I am not referring to a case, rather a show."

Sighing, Mac turned and walked away from the woman. "Whatever you getting at, I am not interested in the least." In Mac's mind flashed some sort of women in the military show that would likely wind up on Springer if Dawson had her way. She wanted no part in it.

Halting Mac's escape, Dawson took her by the arm, gently pulling her to a stop. "Don't you watch TV?"

"Barely, why?" Mac failed in her attempt not to roll her eyes. She would have shrugged her arm out of Dawson's grasp, but, sometimes, dealing with monsters head on was more productive than running away.

Smiling, Dawson motioned back to the bench. "Have you heard about the show 'ZULU'?"

2210 Zulu   
Harm's Apartment   
North Of Union Station

Harm had just finished showering and shaving when a knock on the door caused him to nearly jump out of his skin. He was busy mentally going over all of the groveling he was planning. Somehow the words 'I'm sorry' had lost their meaning over the past week. Harm figured it would take a bit more than just that to really get into Mac's good graces. When he opened the door, the last thing he expected happened. "Mac." Smiling brightly, he was about to open the door wider for her to come in when her right hand connected with his left cheek. The sting was amplified as it connected with a bitsy cut from shaving. "Mac?"

"You son of a bitch." She yelled at him, storming into the apartment and pacing like a mad woman. "I can NOT believe you'd do this to me. . . TO US. . ." Stopping she turned and jabbed him in the chest. "I can understand you being pissed and jealous because of Mic and I, but that did not give you the right to divulge private information to your GIRLFRIEND!"

Harm stood there stunned holding his hand to his cheek and massaging the area softly. He heard her words, but they didn't really sink in. How could they? She was running a hundred miles an hour. "Mac, would you power down and tell me what the HELL is going on?"

As her anger turned to sadness, Mac collapsed on one of his barstools, sobbing hard at the utter feeling of betrayal. At the mall Michele Dawson had literally floored her with news that the show 'ZULU' was based on Mac and Harm's relationship. Mac had laughed it off. Sure, their relationship was odd, but nothing worth of being made into a mini-series. For the most part being a JAG lawyer was, boring. But Dawson had insisted and even slipped her a VHS tape containing two episodes from the show.

Mac had shrugged it off, completely ignoring the woman until she arrived at home to shower and prepare for her evening with Harm. As she was working on chicken and Alfredo, she popped the VHS into her kitchen TV/VCR combo. The serving plate she was holding fell to the floor shattering into a zillion pieces as she witnessed her life on TV, just in reverse. Dropping everything, she had logged online, searching past fan forums and fan sites until she finally reached information on the show's executives. Under the producer line who's name appeared? Non other than Renee Peterson.

A million scenarios popped into her mind. And though Mac had tried to remain rational about things, the video tape in her position threw all rational thought down the drain. The things on the show weren't something that Renee or anyone were privy to. They were private moments that she'd shared with Harm. Angrily, her mind ran a million miles a minute formulating one plausible conclusion: Renee knew because Harm had told her, it was as simple at that.

"THIS." Mac slammed the VHS onto the kitchen island, no longer able to think anymore. She'd literally exhausted herself over the whole ordeal and it was a big deal. Here they were, dealing with trust issues only to have it crumble. He couldn't trust her, now, she couldn't trust him. Maybe she never could? Maybe she blindly fell for a man that would backstab her because his feelings had been hurt. In a nutshell, she explained what was on the VHS and the woman who had given it to her. "Renee is the producer of the show. . . she couldn't have known what had happened between you and I unless someone told her."

Defensively he brought his hand to his chest shaking his head in confusion. "Mac, she could have taken a look in our files."

Mac pointed at the VHS tape. "THOSE. . . THINGS are NOT on our FILES, Harm.. . .Major Rapp, on the show, the character that represents ME is an alcoholic. This week's episode he fell off the wagon when his girlfriend died . . She knew I was an alcoholic, how the hell else would she have known if YOU didn't tell her!" Calming down, she jumped off the stool and took a few steps away from him and turned around. "Please, tell me I just yelled at you for no reason. . . Please tell me that you never told her anything about us. . ." Turning around, he could see the tears rolling down her cheeks. "Please."

Harm sighed. Truth be told he had spoken to Renee about Mac, mainly because the woman would not stop questioning him. He realized now Renee was trying to see how deep his relationship with Mac really ran, back then, he thought she was just interested in his friends. "I CAN'T." He yelled back at her through gritted teeth. "I CAN'T tell you. . .there are things I don't remember, okay."

Mac closed her eyes and swallowed hard. He'd told her that everything was going to be okay with Harm after the ejection over the ocean. But, maybe they'd missed something. "Since we ejected?"

Harm nodded slowly. "There are things. . . some things still missing. . . . But, I. . . I don't think I told her, Mac."

Walking to his sofa, she sat on the edge and brought her head into her hands. "But you don't know either." She watched him shake his head and couldn't help the fresh stream of tears. "How else would she know I was an alcoholic?"

"Mac, we go out, every time we go out, you never drink, ever. . ." He pointed out trying for some sort of explanation that was anything but a smart move.

"And that has people thinking I am an alcoholic?" She stared at him for a moment and snorted. "You resent it that I don't drink don't you?. . . You're used to having a glass of wine with a woman. . . champagne, all of that. . . with me you don't and I know you miss it." Her reasoning made sense to her. Harm had been accustomed to a type of lifestyle, one that she noticed had stopped ever since they were an item. Alcohol was pretty much gone from Harm's life. He'd stopped buying beer, only drank soda or sparkling water during dinner. When they had gone out with friends, Bud had offered him a bourbon and he stared at Mac thoughtfully before declining. It wasn't necessarily a bad thing, in fact, she was touched, but it wasn't Harm. And she didn't want him to change that drastically for her, because eventually he'd resent her.

"To be honest, yes, I miss not being able to have a drink with the woman I am with. . ." Feeling like he'd gone twelve rounds with Mike Tyson, Harm walked over to his kitchen island and hoped on one of the stools. "I rather enjoy that slight haze you get. . . so yes, I think it sucks that I can't enjoy that with you. . . I wish I could fix things so that you could enjoy that part of living. . but I can't. . . And I am sorry if that offends you."

Mac sighed deeply. This wasn't happening, not like this. Not when they had such a horrible argument that they were getting over. "I'm not offended, Harm. . .Just hurt, and tired and heartbroken." She bit her lower lip and stood, walking over to him. "Tell me you didn't tell her about us and I'll believe you. . . I'll believe you." She bit back another round of tears and brought her hand to his cheek. "Please."

He was going to swear on his father's grave that he did nothing wrong if only to appease Mac. "I can't, Mac. . . I don't remember." But again, that deep nasty feeling that he did divulge information to Renee was nagging him. "I swear we'll look into it. . . we'll find out." He stood up and attempted to reach for her, but Mac moved away from him as if his touch would burn her.

"Don't. . .just don't." Shoulders slumped she left, closing the door behind her as she headed out. Mac needed to think about things, she couldn't be at his place nor hers to do so. Taking to the road she drove and drove and drove.   
-------------------------------------   
NavyBabe - Yea, Mac's good line for the chapter. LOL! "Is singer INSANE?" Hmmm.. ;)

Maiden & Froggy - Sorry for the no seduction scene/Mac plan, but there is still mucho story yet,  ;)

Hieros - Knives?!  I got some as well.  And swords. So, yes I am protecting myself from you!!! ;)

Amanda - Glad you like how I set up the "show" it was, honestly a pain in the arse! :)

XBlue - Deep breaths, a lot of them.  Or Alcohol and lots of it. ;)

Cristina - I had Mac slap Harm about three times in this story and about a month ago I figured it was a bit much. LOL!!


	13. Episode 5: Down Under

Uh, there is a certain amount of animosity over Renee in this story. I've received e-mails with some uh, colorful terminology that has been used to describe her. Amusing how rabid people get when someone threatens our fav couple's future. ;)

Thanks to: XBlueShadowX, LieutenantjgMegAustin , maidenpride21, froggy0319, Navy Babe, Hieros Gamos, Charmboy4, blonde-brain, Anaika Skywalker, Charmboy4, zeilfanaat, Nikki, jaggurl, achaon, cbw, Manda May, FoxyWombat, zeilfanaat, Jackia, DD2, xobabygurlxo, Kitty25,  Lori, amanda cook, joanoa, G, Cristina,  & Jenny, for all the feedback. :)

Well, here is lucky number 13 Enjoy gang! :)

Jackie.

Part 13 - Episode 5: Down Under   
1320 Zulu   
JAG Headquarters   
Falls Church, Virginia

Harm didn't sleep, at all. During the whole weekend, he'd been busy trying to track down any information he could on 'ZULU'. He'd even tried getting in touch with Renee, but that was all futile. The only information available to him and his poor Internet skills were those on the Taramount web page and that just wasn't enough for him to go on. He tried calling Mac, but she either had her cell phone turned off or was ignoring him. Harm wanted to believe that he didn't deserve the way she berated him, but he wasn't so sure. Deep inside he had a nagging feeling that somehow, he was involved with whoever managed to find so many intricate details about his and Mac's relationship.

He'd watched the videos at least ten times over the weekend, jaw nearly hitting the floor at how, not so subtly, Sam's life mirrored his own. There were things that were a bit more dramatic than his own, but basically, it was all there staring him back in the face. Even that sweet and painful kiss he'd shared with Mac in the docks of Norfolk was there, just in reverse. "How could you do this?" He spat at the TV, damning Renee and all the pleasant times he spent with her. Then again, he should have been prepared, she DID say he and Mac would pay. Apparently, she made good on all promises.

Monday morning, he had gotten up and headed directly into JAG ops, hoping to catch Admiral Chegwidden before anyone else did. As the minutes ticked on by, Harm paced the bullpen, waiting for their CO to arrive.

AJ was slightly irritated at having to deal with one of Harm's antics so early on a Monday morning, but apparently it couldn't wait. "This can't wait until I have my morning cup of coffee?"

"No, sir. . ." Harm slumped into one of chairs across from AJ's desk and sighed heavily. "Something has gone wrong, sir. . . and though it may seem petty, I am afraid of the ramifications it would bring up for the Colonel and myself."

Coffee or not, THAT woke AJ right up. "What happened now?" He knew his senior officers had a tendency to be a bit. . . well, unorthodox about things. Especially Harm, who seemed determined to piss off every member of the free world. "If it's about the Colonel and your . . um, special relationship, I don't want to know. . .just keep it out of my office."

He'd run the scenario in his head so many times, but it all seemed so. . . stupid. A TV show, he was concerned about a TV show. Sighing, he sat at the edge of the chair and just decided to wing it and save any speech he had prepared. "I am sure you have heard of a show called 'ZULU' and well. . . that's mine and Mac's life you are seeing."

AJ furled his brow, completely confused at what Harm was getting at. "Commander. . . Harm, are you alright? Have you had enough rest?"

"SIR, the show. . .is about OUR lives. . . someone, somehow, knows about things that happened to Mac and I and is writing about it and putting it on TV. . ." He was irritated and the lack of sleep wasn't helping, neither was the look of confusion. "The things that happen to Hawk and Sam, the characters, are things that have happened to Mac and I in the past. . . WE'VE BEEN STOLEN!"

By that time, Harm was screaming. Thankfully, no one was in the office yet and AJ manage to let what his senior officer was saying sink in. It, sort of, made sense, after all, that one episode he'd seen had similarities to Harm and Mac. "How did this happen?"

Harm shivered from the tension running up and down his body. He was about to break and crash into a zillion pieces. He didn't want to lose Mac over this, nor did he want his life and precious moments seen by the whole world. Sighing, he brought his face into his hands and rubbed his eyes. "Sir, if this gets out our lives will be under a microscope. . There are some people, that if they find out. . . they'll believe there has been some sort of impropriety." And it wasn't just that, there had been things that had happened privately that no one knew about. Him trying to kill Diane's murderer, Mac falling off the wagon and going to work drunk. He was worried that some full investigation would be launched. "There are people that I've. . . pissed off during the years, sir. . . some that wouldn't mind using that damned show to come after me. . . I could be ruined, Mac could be ruined. . . we could be separated."

AJ came around his desk and sat in the chair next to Harm. Just when he thought that they had figured it out, something had to happen. Frowning, he placed a hand on Harm's shoulder, hoping the younger man realized he had someone in his corner. "How can I help?"

"I need to find out how people know these things. . . they are private things. . ." Looking up, Harm glanced at AJ laughing bitterly. "Damnit, sir. . . Mac thinks I betrayed her."

"We'll figure it out. . . I can make a few calls and see what I can find out. . . starting by who had a direct hand in this."

"Renee, sir. ."

"What?" AJ could have sworn that was the name of his ex-girlfriend.

Harm sighed, "When we broke up, she swore that Mac and I would pay. . . guess she found the perfect way."

Four Days Later   
1920 Zulu   
USS Patrick Henry   
Undisclosed Location

"You alright, Hammer?" Skates was worried about her friend, so much that she had taken the daunting task of keeping an eye on him as much as possible. AJ didn't want Harm and Mac in the office at the same time until something's were settled, so he decided that sending Harm off to a carrier to get his quals done and play fleet JAG, would be a good way to keep the Commander's head in the game.

Harm was staring at his laptop and an e-mail that had been sent by Mac. She didn't seem angry or hurt in the e-mail, just concerned. And that, to him, was one of the best things he could receive. 'You never let me finish talking. . .I know there are problems, but please, come home safe. I don't want to lose you. Love, Mac.' Still, he had a pang in his heart mostly over the conversation he didn't allow them to have. Mac had called him the day after he arrived.

"What do you want, Mac?" He spat angrily at her, hurt that she would think he betrayed her. In a sense, he still didn't remember, but as he had a chance to have their conversation roll around his head, Harm became angry at her.

("I. . .Wanted to make sure you got there, alright. . .") She sighed over the line and he could just imagine the expression on her face as she fought words that she was never comfortable using. ("I'm sorry for what happened at your apartment. . .I overreacted and I shouldn't have, but I can't take back what happened. . . I can only say that I am. . . sorry.") She sighed again, her voice catching slightly. ("I. . Harm, I love you, I'll never stop and I wanted you to know that. . . Because, I know quals are dif. ." )

Harm wanted to scream back at her, hell, he would have if it wasn't because he was in such tight quarters with five thousand other sailors. "At the moment, I don't care, MacKenzie. . . I need my head in the game not on you, not on Renee or that stupid show. . . I'll see you whenever the hell I get back. . .bye." He was surprised her e-mail didn't have an snarky comments for him, but maybe they were passing that point?

He closed his eyes tightly, trying not to let the swell of emotions take him over. He needed her, badly. Life just wasn't the same with out her, not anymore, not since he found out how wonderful it felt to just to be loved. With a smile he thought about their first time together and every time since then. "Damnit." He cursed and looked up to find Skates watching him. It felt good to be back on a carrier, to somewhat of his former life. Maybe it was the notion that he was flying such an expensive aircraft, but it did keep his head in the game. "I'm fine, Skates."

Walking into his stateroom, Skates sat on the lower bunk and stared at her friend. "Hammer, you can try to make someone else believe that, but I know you . . . you aren't alright." Skates studied him for a moment noting how he was holding onto the sides of the laptop like a lifeline. Something had happened back home. "How's the Colonel?"

"She's. . Well, she's. . ." Sighing, Harm closed the lid on the laptop and looked out of the small porthole of his stateroom. "Honestly, I don't know. . ."

Skates knew that Harm and Mac had finally, as she put it, "gotten their head out of their sixes", he had called to let her know when he was wishing her a happy holidays. She could tell now, by Harm's far off expression that things weren't going too good at home so she offered a bit of advice. "Whatever happened, Harm. . . don't let it ruin what you two figured out. . ."

He looked up at his RIO and smiled slightly. "Since when are you giving away relationship advice?"

"At the risk of sounding sappy. . .since I fell in love." Skates smiled and sighed happily. "He is one of the few men in my life that supports what I do though we are sometimes thousands of miles apart."

"I didn't want to stick my nose where it didn't belong, but, weren't you going to be driving a desk in DC?"

Skates nodded. "Yep, until you and the Colonel ejected over the ocean." Sighing, she chuckled. "Know how hard it was to get on a plane knowing what happened to you two?" Harm knew too well what she was talking about. All pilots became rather anxious when one of their own experienced some problems with the aircraft, but it was dealt with, because they were trained for it. "But I did it and I enjoyed it. . . We fought about it though."

Harm perked up. "Did you?"

"Stopped talking for a few weeks and everything, he threatened to cancel the wedding."

"How'd you work it out?"

Skates smirked. "When you are meant to be together, you always work it out, Harm. . . you always go back to that person, no matter what has happened between you two." He noticed now that the conversation had switched away from her own relationship to his. But, Skates had a point, no matter what had transpired between him and Mac they'd always ended up alone but together. "Like I said, don't let it come between what you two found else. . . you'll regret it for the rest of your life." With that, she placed a hand on Harm's shoulder and left him with his thoughts.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Australia. The fifth episode had Hawk and Sam in Australia as Sam was defending an American sailor that had committed a crime on Australian soil. She had returned to JAG a few months prior after figuring out that she'd lost her chance at being a pilot. Now, the two stood face to face, traversing the waters in a ferry, chatting about relationships as they neared their destination, Luna Park.

"I can not believe you went to the beach with Michelle Brink, or that you were prancing around in Speedos while she was sitting there, topless." Sam shivered at the disgusting images of Michelle Brink, an exchange Australian Naval officer that was once at JAG. Sam couldn't stand her from day one, especially the way that Michelle seemed to drool all over Hawk.

Hawk just laughed at his partner. "Sam, it was a nude beach."

"Still, she was a colleague, I wouldn't go around topless in front of you." Sam couldn't comprehend the audacity that Michelle had to be prancing around half naked with a man that was nothing to her. Further more, she thought better of Hawk not that he would succumb to the woman's charms so readily.

Raising his eyebrows at the sudden shift in the conversation, Hawk balanced on the balls of his feet and smiled. "Not even if I asked nicely?" His voice was low, sexy, something that should be used for private moments in the bedroom. It did his job, for he could see Sam trying to remain her composure.

And she was flustered, utterly flustered, Hawk always had a way of doing that to her, but now, she had no way of getting out of it, though she tried. They were passing under a bridge and she looked up trying to move the conversation to a safer venue. "You know they wrote 'Eternity' in lights, on this bridge during New Years Eve?"

Hawk sighed, his eyes taking a look of slight sadness as he saw her slipping away. "Is that how long we are going to wait?" At her attempt to protest, he raised his hand, stilling her words. "We aren't home Sam, we aren't in the same continent, why can't you just. . . let go?"

"I can't. . . not yet." She swallowed hard, knowing that her body was betraying her words, but it couldn't happen. She and Hawk couldn't be together.

"You're just this way with me aren't you?"

With a soft smile, she nodded. "Only with you."

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

0235 Zulu   
Mac's Apartment   
Georgetown

There was no other word to described what Mac was feeling except for PISSED OFF. She was pissed off at herself. Pissed off at Renee. Pissed off at the stupid network that picked up 'ZULU'. She was just pissed off! And now that she sat there, watching her life on TV, she was even more pissed. Tonight, she had a sick feeling that things would get worse before they got any better. Not only was the show going into the details of one of the worst nights of her life, but, later on, after the show was over, the producer/creator was going to talk a bit about it. She could only imagine the crap that they would say about the show. According to Taramount's web page, Renee Peterson, would be interviewed after the show.

Mac never liked the woman, in fact, she stomached her for Harm sake, because she told herself a good friend would do that. But Renee, was just not for him. And it had nothing to do with her jealousy over the woman, which, now, she would confirm that she was, indeed seeing green around the Video Princess. Mac always had a bad feeling about her, especially when Renee and Harm were suddenly 'engaged' after their plummet into the ocean. She had a sick feeling that Renee had used his slight bought with amnesia into tricking him and she was just enraged about that. Break ups did happen and if this was Renee's way of making them pay, she was heartless.

Maintaining some sanity, Mac managed to continue watching the episode. But, there was one scene in particular that caught her eye. She realized something at that moment, Harm couldn't have been the one that told Renee about their relationship, this was something that no one, except for Mac and Mic, knew. . .

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Hawk was on the same ferry, on the same ride that he and Sam had been on a night prior. Only, tonight, he wasn't with Sam, but Michelle Brink who was wearing a rather skimpy number. "You look very handsome tonight, Hawk."

He looked her up and down, smiling slightly at the woman, she was attractive and they had a pleasant night together. "And you look gorgeous, Michelle, but you didn't have to wear such an elegant dress. . . It's just a causal dinner, Michelle."

Smiling, she leaned into him. "We're having more than that."

"Don't presume, remember?" He was flirting with her, dangerously flirting with her. Then again, he did like Michelle, not the same way as Sam, but she'd made her choice the night before and it obviously wasn't him. So, Hawk didn't see the harm in spending this evening in the company of an attractive female.

They walked up to the stern of the ship, both looking up at the skies, cloudless with every star shining. "I know you like me, Hawk."

"Of course I do."

Taking a deep, steadying breath, Michelle looked up at Hawk, drawing his attention away from the stars and down to her. "I'm in love with you. . . I've loved you since the time I first laid eyes on you. . . I want you, Hawk. . . I need to be with you." When he tried to object, she placed one finger on his lips to silence him. "Let me finish, while I have the strength. . . I knew it would be difficult to get you to love a girl like me. . ." Looking up, she noted the Southern Cross over head. "I mean, at one point I'd have thought it was impossible for us to be standing together under the Southern Cross."

Hawk smiled. "This is true." There was something about the moment that had woven some sort of magic between them. He did feel something for Michelle, or maybe it was just the heat of the moment? His eyes traveled back up to the skies and when they came down to Michelle again, she was holding up a white gold band. He furled his eyebrows in confusion.

"Marry me, Hawk." Michelle held the ring up higher so that he could look at it. "I know the odds are against us, but I am willing to make any sacrifice."

Swallowing a few times, it seemed like forever before he got his voice back. "This is. . . sudden. . . I'd need some time."

"Wear my ring. . .It was my fathers. . he told me to give it to the man I was to marry. . . please wear it."

"Michelle, I need some time. . ."

Biting her lower lip, she shrugged. "Wear it on your right hand then, until you are ready."

Hawk didn't see any problems with that logic. After all, when Sam had left to fly, he and Michelle had gotten closer. He could see himself loving her at some point in time. It took him a bit of time to agree, but when he remembered Sam's rejection from the night before, it made it all easier. "Okay." Leaning down he kissed her softly as the credits started rolling and the screen went black.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

0245 Zulu   
Mac's Apartment   
Georgetown

Mac's jaw threatened to hit the floor. No one knew about Mic's proposal to her, no one. Her friends who'd asked all received a short version, 'He proposed in Australia.' And that was it, no details, nothing about a ferry ride or his attire, nothing. Though the show had added it's own dramatic moments, the similarities were rocking her to the core. Resting her head on the back of the sofa, she thought about the possibility of Mic somehow being involved. "No, he's happily married, why would he bother?"

But it did make for a rather interesting scenario. Maybe he was jus as jilted as Renee was and together they'd manage to find network of people that knew about her and Harm? Mac chuckled to herself. "You're losing it, MacKenzie." Her scenario was just preposterous, no one went to such lengths to screw over a past flame. But, somehow, Renee knew details that no one else did.

As the episode was coming to a close, the credits asked the audience to 'stay tuned for behind the scenes footage and an interview with star producer Renee Peterson.' Mac snorted at that.

The footage was nothing out of this world, Mac had seen it dozens of times before when she'd been on cases to the carriers, LHA and all of the zillion placed JAG lawyers went. Of course, on the show, they spent little to no time on actual carriers, it was all filmed on sets, very large, costly sets.

The two that played Hawk and Sam were very attractive and looked very good together. Mac couldn't help but wonder if people thought that about her and Harm. There was always an attraction, but just how many people deduced that they were 'meant to be?' The actors seemed nice, and jovial, chuckling about the strained romance of Hawk and Sam. "Yea, well, be glad it's just TV, if you lived through the real thing, you wouldn't be laughing." Frowning, she felt a headache coming on. Her pulse started quickening and suddenly she just felt sick. Utterly sick. It might have had to do with Renee suddenly appearing on screen.

"Mrs. Peterson." The interviewer, Nancy Karl, said with a smile only to be cut off by the Video Princess.

Sitting just a few feet from the interviewer was Renee, dressed in some sort of pinstriped business suit, with that fake, plastic smile of hers. 'That's Ms. Peterson, Nancy. . . I haven't found 'The One' yet, but I am sure he is out there, waiting." Mac groaned loudly and was tempted to toss something at the TV.

"I'm sorry, Ms. Peterson." Nancy tried again. "First off, everyone wants to know, how'd you come up with this story?"

Renee's smile went up in wattage as she cooed all over her 'idea' for the perfect show. "Well, I had a few. . uh, friends in the military. . ."

"Friends?! She has the audacity to call US friends?!" Mac yelled at the TV, her temper starting to reach it's boiling point.

". . . And their on-goings gave me the idea for this story. . . which is wonderful isn't it?"

Nancy laughed, agree with Renee's enthusiasm. "It is, and I must say, Hawk and Sam are just two very gorgeous characters."

Renee laughed it all up, thriving from the attention. "Oh yes, they are. . . Especially Hawk, what a babe."

"A lot of military men and women dislike that you have made the Hawk and Sam story too much of a romance with very little aspect to their actual military careers. . ."

"Well, Nancy, that was done on purpose. The times we've shown cases and those silly planes has been fun and all that, but I believe intimate relationships in the military is a bigger seller and apparently I am right." She gloated, adding a dazzling smile before throwing her head back in laughter.

Nancy moved closer in her chair. "So, give us the real scoop, rumor mill has it that Hawk and Sam really exist? And that the real Hawk and Sam are JAG lawyers just like the show."

"That is correct, but with a slight difference." She pointed out with a smirk. "In real life the pilot is a man and the Marine is a woman."

"A female Marine? She must be pretty tough."

Renee leaned back, un-crossing and crossing her legs, appearing not to have a care in the world. "Umm. . . not really. . .she's all talk no action."

Mac let out a strained chuckle. "All talk no, action, huh? I'd like to see us go toe to toe." She slammed one fist into an open hand and winced at how much it had hurt. "Oww."

"Ooooh, sounds like some animosity there." Nancy stopped trying to gage Renee's reaction, which was that of a woman who'd been hurt. There was a look in her eyes that slightly frightened the reporter, so she decided to let that animal rest and move elsewhere. "So, are we allowed to know the names of the real Hawk and Sam?" Everyone who was doing a scoop on 'ZULU' were dying to be the first ones to get that delicious piece of information. So far, no one from Taramount had cracked so it all rested on the shoulders of the creator who had all the dirty little secrets.

Renee sighed happily, tossing her hair for effect and laughing at the power she was wielding. It was fun having people try to fish information out of her. Now, who she was going to give it to was the problem. She figured that she'd leave some bread crumbs and all of the blood hounds of the entertainment news business could just figure it out on their own. "I won't tell you their full names. . . but just like Hawk and Sam they do have nicknames." Turning directly to face the camera, she smiled again before dropping the bomb, literally. "They are two JAG lawyers known as Harm and Mac."

Mac sat on her sofa, mouth agape, swearing it was all some sick nightmare. "Oh no, you didn't." It couldn't be happening to them. "Damnit, Renee. . . How could you do this?" Turning to the phone she held her breath as it began ringing. People couldn't have figured it out already, could they? Her hand shivered as she reached for the cordless, tempted just to let the machine pick it up. Closing her eyes tightly, she pressed the power button and brought the receiver to her ear. "Lieu. . Lieutenant Col-Colonel MacKKKenzie." She could barely speak from the anger that was raising through her veins.

("Mac? It's the Admiral . . look, I saw. . .I'm. . I'm sorry, I know this is difficult for you.") Her CO said over the phone and she could tell he really meant it.

"With all due respect, sir. . . we are screwed. . ." She spat back at the phone as the shock just started wearing off replacing itself with pure anger. "What's going to happen to us when the SECNAV finds out?. . . Surely we can't work together on cases anymore, people will think Harm and I have been. . ." Mac had always been concerned with how people saw her and what people thought of her. It was a burden, a cross she carried from the times her father would call her his 'stupid, tramp, daughter.' The scars never healed and the thought of people thinking that she and Harm had done something wrong was making her hurt inside. ". . . We've been nothing but professional, sir." She willed herself not to cry, not to let the other woman bring out those feelings in her, but it was no use.

AJ sighed on his end of the line. ("I'll run interference with the SECNAV and any other higher ups if I need to. . . I know you and Harm carry yourselves with utmost professionalism, Mac. . .In the mean time, get some rest over the weekend. You and Sturgis have court early on Monday.")

Mac nodded as if he could see her, but the last thing she was going to get was rest. "I will, sir and thank you, sir. . . thank you for being on our side." After saying their goodbyes, Mac hung up the phone, staring at it again for several minutes. There was some peace and quiet in her home, but she knew it wouldn't last once the media got wind of who "Harm and Mac" were.

"MacKenzie, don't do it." She told herself, but even so, her fingers were running fast over the keyboard of the laptop she had on the coffee table. She'd located the Taramount page and decided to get in contact with their offices. Surely, someone could help her get a hold of Renee Peterson. She held her breath as she dialed the number for the corporate offices.

The interview on TV had to be taped, very few shows, except for the early morning talk shows, did anything that wasn't taped. And with the time difference between DC and California, someone had to be in the offices. So she called, but when she asked to speak to Ms. Peterson, Mac got information that made her heart stop. "Ms. Peterson and the 'ZULU' crew are going to be on location aboard the USS Patrick Henry. . ." Mac didn't hear anything else that Renee's secretary had to say, she just hit the 'off' button on the phone and stared off in disbelief. Things just couldn't get worse.

"Harm's on the Henry." She said out loud before burying her head in her hands. "Oh, no."   
-------------   
Nikki - Hope you had a good vacation! Glad I can lay lotsa new chappies for ya. :)

joanoa - Nah, you ain't slow! I just totally rock!  I am kidding, it was an odd story to write.  Originally when I thought it up I wasn't sober. ;)

XBlue - BREATHE!!!  BREATHE!! and when you are done doing that :::Points to a "CERTAIN" story::: WRITE!!! WRITE!!!

NavyBabe - LOL!! Psycho Bitch, glad this didn't happen on the actual show, could you imagine?  UST a Psycho Bitch?

LtjgMeg - You'll just have to wait and see how she got the info, so far no one has come remotely close to figuring out how.  I think everyone will be surprised, I know I was. ;)

Charmboy - Mac needs to bitchslap her, I would have loved to have seen Mac kick her ass at some point on the show.  :::sighs::: oh well!

Cristina - I know about the "rabid Harmies" I've had some share interesting coments about my chosing to have Mac slap him twice.  Luckily I don't take aything serious, very hard to shock me and I am just amused. ;)  Honestly though, Mac was different back in season 7, so was Harm,  and when people read THIS story they need to forget what happened from there on out, I think it's left over tention from S9 methinks.  Hope that made sense, probably not though! ;)

Xobaby - It's funny and I winced cos he had just shaved his face.  Poor guy, Go mac! ;)

G - They both tend to run on their own tangent.

Hieros - Jeesh!  Now Guns?  Dad has an AK!  I will protect myself!

Maiden - I had watched "The Stalker" yea, but the chapter was written loooooooooooong since then.  Kinda amusing that I posted it on the same day it was re-runed.  Didn't do that intentionally though, I swear!  BTW - Erm, when are we getting another post from you?  :::smiles sweetly.:::


	14. Episode 6: The One I Love

Wow, lots of feedback on Part 13. .. See the number is lucky after all. ;) A lot of fun ways to kill Renee, tossing her off the ship, having Mac kick her six, I personally would use one, or several, of the marvelously crude, medieval torture techniques, but that is just me. Nothing beats the classics. ;)

Thanks to: XBlueShadowX, LieutenantjgMegAustin , maidenpride21, froggy0319, Navy Babe, Hieros Gamos, Charmboy4, blonde-brain, Anaika Skywalker, Charmboy4, zeilfanaat, Nikki, jaggurl, achaon, cbw, Manda May, FoxyWombat, zeilfanaat, Jackia, DD2, xobabygurlxo, Kitty25, Lori, amanda cook, joanoa, G, Cristina, Lori, BrokenSkye, ami, iammusic, unknown, mandaj97, Jagfan724, & Jenny, for all the feedback. :) You lurkers - :::points::: you too. ;)

Thank you all for being patient, I really didn't want to drag out the wait between chapters too long, but, it was unavoidable. Though I have most of the story written, I always like to fling back and re-read it, add things and this was a chapter that needed a severe revision which I was giving it over the last couple of days. It was just too short.

Now, if you think you hated Renee before, well, this chapter is probably gonna have several people go manic. I got some hate mail from Renee fans (There actually are some?!) who state (and this is my FAV quote, one that, people really shouldn't tell writers.) "She wouldn't really do that." Okay, though I do admit Renee on JAG was much more level headed than my story (::laughs like crazy:::), normal, level headed people have been known to lose it and do unethical and evil things. That is my platform and I am sticking to it, love it or hate it.

Alrighty... on with the show. :) Shippers, not to worry, I am dropping some very miniscule breadcrumbs to get our couple into some understanding.

Enjoy!   
Jackie   
PS: Oh, BTW, NO ONE has figured out yet how Renee did it. Hahahaa!!! Wow, I really need therapy. :)   
PS 2: Warning: There is going to be a bit of violence in the last part of this chapter, nothing too over the top, but well. . . there you go.

Part 14 - Episode 6: The One I Love   
1500 ZULU   
USS Patrick Henry   
Undisclosed Location

Harm weaved his way through the carrier, heading towards the ready room. "Damnit." He cursed, hating the stunts that some of them had to pull to keep the higher ups appeased. Then again, it wasn't all that bad, he was going to get to fly and enjoy making his passenger sick. With a malicious grin, he walked in and came right to the CAG who was speaking to a tall, brunette with long flowing hair wearing flight gear. He smiled, if that was who he was going to be flying with, today was his lucky day. "CAG, I hear I get to take up a civilian?"

"Commander, we were just talking about you." Grinning, the CAG introduced the two. "Commander Harmon Rabb, this is Cynthia Bree. . . You'll be taking her up today." Patting Harm on the back, the CAG proudly commented, "He's one of the elite."

Harm took her hand gingerly in his and shook. "Nice to meet you." There was something about her that he found to be familiar, but he couldn't place it. Her brilliant blue eyes were of someone he'd seen before. He was tempted to ask if they'd met before, but he seldom forgot beautiful women. "You ready?"

Cynthia stared up at the Commander with a twinkle in her eye. He had to be one of the most attractive males she'd ever met. Licking her lips to try and draw attention from him, she leaned in and whispered in a bedroom voice. "I bet you can show a girl a few tricks."

Harm smiled slightly at her, trying to coolly evade her innuendo. He cleared his throat, noting that the CAG and the other pilots in the ready room were green with envy. Harm had been asked for by name, no one else stood a chance of going up with the beautiful brunette. "Let's get up in the air, shall we?" Pointing towards the hatch, he ushered Cynthia towards it, but was stopped briefly by a female Petty Officer.

"Commander Rabb, sir?" The woman waited for Harm to address her and smiled apologetically. "Sorry, sir. . . You have a call from a Colonel MacKenzie, she says it's urgent."

Harm sighed, he didn't need this, not now, especially going up with a civilian. "Petty Officer, please tell her I am sitting in a plane at the moment. . . and that's an order." He turned his attention back to Cynthia and waved off the Petty Officer who had strict orders from the Colonel. "Dismissed, Petty Officer."

As they meandered towards the tarmac, Cynthia was having trouble keeping her eyes off of Harm. So much that she tripped over a knee knocker and Harm had to grab her to steady the woman. Once they reached the outside, Harm helped her into the plane, letting her know not to touch anything. "Of course not, Commander." She cooed, adding a charming smile for effect.

Harm hoped into the pilot's seat, slipping on both his gloves and helmet before doing all of the normal check of the instruments. Surprisingly, Cynthia remained silent until he spoke to her. "So, Mrs. Bree. . ."

"Cynthia, please."

Harm watched her through the rearview mirror and grinned, the helmet looked absolutely ridiculous on her. "Okay, Cynthia. . .in that case, call me Harm."

Turning her head slightly, she saw his wide smile and those gorgeous blue eyes that she was becoming mesmerized with. "Okay, Harm."

"You never told me how you got to the Henry." She was about to answer, when Harm got the clearance to take off. "Sorry, we'll have to chat later. . . got a bird to fly." About a minute later, Cynthia and Harm were catapulted off of the carrier and into wild blue yonder.

Surprisingly, Cynthia did not get sick as he played with the g-forces. In fact, she was laughing all the way. "More!!" She yelled from the backseat as Harm executed a barrel roll. She did become tense when Harm lined up the plane with the carrier, reading himself to land. The pitch and roll of the deck was making her cringe. Closing her eyes tightly, she took a deep breath and just listened to the crew reeling them in. The landing was a bit softer than she would have imagined and she couldn't wait to jump out of the plane and hug the pilot.

When they landed, Harm helped her out of the aircraft and was surprised to find the woman attached to his neck, enveloping him in a bear hug. "Woah, there. . ." He chuckled slightly and escorted her into the carrier. "Would you like to have a cup of coffee? My treat?" She nodded the affirmative and followed Harm through the carrier like a lost puppy as they headed towards the mess. Walking in, he headed directly towards the pots of coffee but was cut off completely by a familiar voice.

"Harm, I trust that Cynthia had fun?" The woman's tone sounded authoritarian.

Spinning around, he found himself face to face with Renee Peterson. "Renee?" Harm glanced at the woman, hoping that he was going just a little bit crazy.

But when she wrapped an arm around Cynthia's shoulders, his blood froze. "So how was the flight?"

"Awesome, those simulators you put me on are crap!" Cynthia said with a scowl. She smiled up at the bewildered Commander and was about to say something, when someone from a small group by the corner called her over.

Harm watched her walk away and it dawned on him what was going on and why Cynthia had been so familiar to him. She was the girl that played 'Sam' on the TV show, the people at the table were the other cast members. Snapping out of it, he turned to find Renee practically laughing at him. "Surprise!" She yelped and nudged him slightly when all he could do was gawk. "Harm. . . aren't you going to say hello?" She moved forward trying to kiss or hug him, but Harm's long legs took him backwards and away from her.

Harm glared at her then towards the table where the crew was laughing, having a good time. They didn't know just how much Renee was screwing with them. Turning to face her again, his eyes conveyed a message of hate. "I have nothing to say to you."

With an unbridled amusement, she watched her ex retreat and run for cover. Renee laughed at his sign of distress, what had happened to the man that used to like to fight? Things weren't going to end like that, she was determined to be with Harm again. "Oh, don't worry. . if you won't come to me, I'll just come to you."

1630 ZULU   
JAG Headquarters   
Falls Church, Virginia

Mac sat outside of the Admiral's office, waiting for any good news. The fact that the SECNAV had been in with AJ for nearly an hour wasn't a good sign. The Admiral had, since the evening Renee leaked Harm and Mac's names, started trying to squash any more information from coming lose. Unfortunately, the media seemed to have their fingers in just about every single pie when it came to digging up dirt. They had found information about Mac and even started showing video from her former time in the limelight. Her professor, Juanita Ressler, was even interviewed, luckily, this time the woman ha nothing but praise for the Marine. Harm's recruitment video was being played non-stop along with recordings of his missions during the first Gulf war and the two flights that earned him his DFCs.

The media had been a slight problem, some had wound up at JAG ops, but were held back by the guards, a few others had managed to find her apartment, but Mac knew of ways to evade them. There would have been no mention of a relationship between Harm and Mac until Mrs. Rupert, an elderly woman in Mac's apartment building, was compensated generously for any dirt. The woman had a dislike for Mac and all things military, seeing as her husband served in the Army and unfortunately never returned home. The fact that Mac's job had her leave and return from home at, what Mrs. Rupert would consider, 'odd hours', just accelerated her dislike for the Marine.

Mac had watched in horror as the older woman was interviewed, giving details of a tall, good looking, Naval officer who would sometimes spend the night at Mac's place. She vividly accounted how on New Years Eve, Mac and said officer, had arrived at around 3 am. The tall, blue eyed man was kissing Mac, preventing her from opening the door to her apartment. To appease him, she turned, kissed him passionately, fumbled wit the keys before they wear able to get insider her apartment. "A moment later," Mrs. Rupert accounted, "I heard an ungodly thud against the door." The woman shook her head in disgust.

"It was obvious they both had been very intimate together." Mac said under her breath, mimicking the older woman. Looking up she found Tiner giving her a bewildered expression. "Sorry." With a deep sigh, she began rapping her nails on the arms of the chair.

"Uh, Ma'am, would you like me to tell you when he is available? You shouldn't have to sit out here and wait." He was trying to dismiss her, hoping to get the tense Marine out of his office because, frankly, Mac was starting to scare him.

She just stared out to the bullpen, eyes not focusing on anything. "Uh, no Tiner. . .I'll just wait here."

Tiner groaned inwardly, the Colonel was going to drive him crazy. Since she'd arrived, everyone noted that she had a look that would kill. In fact, he swore that she even made one of the stoic Marine guards cringe. Now, he sat there, trying to find some way to get away before he became a victim. He liked the Colonel, she usually was a very good officer, but when she was like this, Tiner was scared shitless. "Tell you what, I'll go get you some coffee ma'am."

"I've had three cups in the last hour, Tiner." She said in a monotone, the tapping of her fingers increasing. One of her hands was wrapped around the arm of the chair in an iron grip and Tiner swore that the wood was about to crumble.

Not able to take it anymore, Tiner took a breath and decided to tempt fate. "Ma'am?" When she turned to look at him, Tiner pointed towards her fingers and smiled faintly.

"Oh. . .uh. . . sorry." Mac brought her hands together nervously placing them in her lap. But as another minute ticked by, she started cracking her knuckles one by one. Tiner cringed once more. Luckily, a second later AJ's office door swung open and out came this CO with the SECNAV.

The SECNAV glared at Mac as he stepped out. "Colonel."

"Sirs." She was standing at attention, waiting for AJ to usher her into the office. 'The SECNAV seemed to be slightly pissed,' she noted. By the looks of AJ, things hadn't gone too well.

"Colonel, please go in and take a seat." Walking in behind, Mac, he closed his door and headed towards his chair behind his desk. She looked completely out of it, he noticed. Not even the aftermath of her break up with Brumby had her looking so ill. AJ frowned. "Let me guess, you couldn't get in touch with the Commander?"

"No, sir. . .he was already on the Tarmac, getting ready to fly." She stared down at her hands that were on her lap and sighed. "Sir, the SECNAV. . . He didn't look too thrilled."

"It's been taken care of." AJ said with a deep sigh. Conversation with the SECNAV had been exhausting. The man was, for lack of a better word, a jerk. AJ hated all of the politic mumbo jumbo that came with being the JAG. Sometimes he figured that without the SECNAV and his need for "favors", the world would run much more smoothly. "Both yours and the Commander's records have been sealed and deemed classified. . . I know some information has leaked out, but we'll deal with that. . . The News stations have been reprimanded by the government for sensationalizing such news. . ."

"This isn't just going to go away, is it?" Mac knew the answer to that, but everyone tended to have one of those dumbfounded type of moments. Then she sobered up. "Don't answer that." With a sigh, she shifted uncomfortably in the chair.

"Mac, eventually people will forget. Hell, you were all over the news last year and that went away."

Mac nodded. "Yes, sir. . . but it's the time during the limelight that I am worried about. . . and what I'm going to lose as a result." She looked wistful for a moment. "May I be dismissed, sir? I have a client to interview in an hour."

"Dismissed." AJ watched the stoic Marine, stand and complete a perfect about face before heading out of his office. He sat for a moment, in silence, curiously wondering how malicious people could live with the things they'd done.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Hawk looked handsome in a grey suit. He was walking after Sam who'd made her way to a gazebo outside of their friend's home. They'd been talking about the past, and their relationship. Caught off guard, she'd let him know that she'd found him attractive. And now, during his engagement party to Michelle, Sam looked sad, lost. "Sam, what do you want the most?"

"What I want the most is to never lose you." She turned, placing her hand on the side of his face. "Why did you go to her so quickly?"

Hawk turned away, coming to sit on a small bench inside the gazebo. "What was I supposed to do, Sam? YOU pushed ME away."

"You could have waited." She nearly cried at him coming to join him on the bench.

"For how long?"

"As long as it takes. . ." They both were brought out of their conversation when one of the guests came out looking for them.

"Sir, Ma'am. . . the General is looking for you. . ." The young woman smiled and turned away from the couple, realizing she'd stumbled upon some sort of private conversation.

"Hawk, you have someone who will always love you."

Hawk turned to completely face her, his eyes shining a raw emotion that he was trying desperately to hide. "And you have someone that loves you." He leaned forward, meaning to kiss her goodbye, but somehow, they connected. The slow kiss took on a life of its own and Sam was holding Hawk flush to her body.

It was him that broke it, looking at her with a bewildered and shocked expression. Things had gone too far. "We're getting too good at saying goodbye." Standing, he walked out of the gazebo and towards the house, leaving Sam outside, alone.

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0120 Zulu   
USS Patrick Henry   
Undisclosed Location

It had been a week since Renee and her crew slid into his life. A long tiring week of hiding, evading, and more hiding. Hoping to avoid Renee at all costs, he even opted to have his meals in his stateroom. Harm felt like his home had been violated and was suddenly starting to lose the appeal he had for life aboard a carrier. It was strange how such a huge ship had suddenly become claustrophobic.

Somehow, he'd managed to weasel his way out of anything relating 'ZULU.' Which was easier said than done, because, apparently, Cynthia was "sweet" on him, or so one of his squadron buddies had mentioned. That was something that he neither wanted nor needed. Luckily, there had been some instances aboard the carrier that needed immediate JAG assistance, so he thrust himself into work, making him unavailable for anything the show needed.

Unfortunately, between JAG, quals and running from Renee, he was beyond exhausted. Happily, exhausted though. Earlier that evening he had spoken to Mac. Nothing pivotal, but it was nice to hear her voice.

("How are things?") Mac asked tentatively, realizing their last conversation ended in a bit of a bad note. ("Renee is onboard, you know.)

"That's what you were calling about, wasn't it?" He felt like an ass about ignoring her, especially since he would have had a heads up about Renee. "We ran into each other . . and I've been evading her ever since." He chuckled into the headset.

Mac did too, nerviously. ("Well, thank God you are a good runner. . . when. . . when are you coming home?")

"I don't know. . . Listen, I have to go, but we'll talk again, okay?"

("I'd like that. . .take care, Flyboy.")

"You too, Marine." Harm had that dreamy expression he usually got when he talked to Mac. Things were still strained and he could only imagine the argument they would probably have, but her voice made him feel whole and strong.

That night the dreams he had were pleasantly inevitable, and very welcomed. Upon falling asleep, he was sent back home to Mac's apartment, laying in her bed as she was doing some sort of a strip tease for him. Mac removed her Marine greens, ending up in a crimson colored negligee that made Harm catch his breath. Crawling the length of his body, Mac straddled him then bent over to kiss him and, in his sleep he grinned. Harm was so busy concentrating on "Mac" that he didn't notice an unwelcome visitor.

"Mmmm." Renee was glancing at her former fiancé who was laying on his rack in only boxer shorts. She'd tried everything possible to 'bump' into Harm, but it was not working. The man was always busy, and no one was ever that busy, she knew he was purposely avoiding her and the crew. But now, she had caught him and they were all alone and undisturbed. This being the crew's last night on the carrier, she wanted to make it count. "So sexy." She growled and looked around. There was a million pounds of steel around them, she was sure no one would hear whatever went on in his stateroom.

With a mischievous grin, she slipped out of the jeans and t-shirt she was wearing. Clad only in her underwear, she walked over to Harm and took no time in straddling his waist. When he made no sign of discomfort or disagreement, she lowered her head down, kissing his chest.

"Mmm. . .Don't stop." He murmured in his sleep as dream Mac placed feather light kisses on his chest.

Renee complied, kissing towards his Adam's apple, nibbling his skin. She sucked on the skin of his neck, leaving hickeys as a way to mark her territory. His hands came up to her thighs, rubbing up and down methodically. It had been too damn long for her and sex, with Harm, had always been incredible.

In his dream, Harm placed his hands on Mac's thighs, lightly raking his nails over her skin, amused with the expression of pleasure on her face. He loved that look, the tousled hair, swollen lips from their kisses. His heart raced as she raked her nails up and down his torso. He sighed happily and chose to forget all of their arguments and misunderstandings. "I love you."

Renee nearly let out a yelp of elation. "I knew you still loved me." She rasped into his ear, taking his earlobe and biting gently. Straightening up, she mis-read the placement of the rack above and ended up hitting her head against it. Groaning, she felt around on the area, finding a bump already forming. "Friggin' Navy don't even give people real beds. . .it's like a cult!" Shaking her head out of the sudden onset of a headache, she continued tracing her fingers up and down his body, but stopped short when he uttered someone else's name.

"Sarah. . .Oh, Sarah."

Red. In with just three words, Renee was seeing red. It wasn't the first time he'd called out Mac's name during the throes of passion. It wasn't even the second time, but this time, she refused to just ignore them. Her hands were still on his chest and using her well manicured nails, she dug them into his chest and ran them downwards, scraping his torso. The force she used was so great that, almost immediately the scrapes had left angry marks, some of which had started to bleed.

It took a few seconds too long for Harm to notice the onslaught of pain. But, when he did, his eyes flew open and he was thrust from a dream into a nightmare. "Renee! What the HELL are you doing?" Even before she had a chance to respond, he jumped out of his bunk, bringing Renee off of him, her butt hitting the floor.

"Owww. . ." She said, smirking slightly at Harm's obvious shell-shocked state. Standing up, she unnecessarily dusted herself and sat back down on his bunk. "Well, is that the way you treat the girl trying to help you get it up?"

"Get out." He growled slipping on his pants, hoping it would make him feel less vulnerable and violated.

Grinning, she looked down at his pants and his tell-tale sign of arousal. "I don't think you want that, Harm. . . Part of you certainly DOESN'T want me to go."

She attempted to reach for him, but Harm put his desk chair between the two of them. "I am not joking, Renee. . . get the hell out and leave me and Mac the HELL alone."

Renee stood and slowly moved trying to seduce him. "C'mon Harm, just a kiss." She made to touch him, but Harm grabbed a firm hold on her forearms.

Even as he tried holding her back, she was playfully making 'kissy faces.' Her actions were starting to scare him. Renee was many things, but she was never out of control nor at such a bridge of lunacy. At least, he would have thought that in the past. "What is wrong with you? What the hell happened?"

Nothing she was trying was wooing Harm and it just affirmed that Sarah MacKenzie had a hold on him, hook, line and sinker. Angrily, she yanked her arms away from his grasp and took a step backwards. "What happened? You have the NERVE to ask WHAT HAPPNED?. . ." Her anger rose up a few notches, all playfulness from before vanished. "My father died and my FIANCE was trying to shack up with another woman." She accused with a menacing growl.

Harm shook his head fiercely. "That isn't true." Sighing, he brought his head down to his hands, rubbing his temples and quickly glanced back up at Renee. He was leery of anything else she would try.

"Oh no? She left your apartment that night and you followed like a dog in heat!! You broke up with me, when I needed you the most."

He felt guilty over that, but it wasn't entirely his fault. If memory served, Renee was as out of control as she was now. "I know. . . and I am sorry, but you weren't being rational, Renee!! I'd been hurt just a few days ago, your dad just passed away and all you were trying to do was get into my pants."

"And you didn't want me! You wanted HER. So you kicked me out of your house. . ." She jabbed him on the chest with her index finger, hard enough to actually cause him some pain. "You didn't even wait twenty minutes before you ran off to her. . .and don't deny it, I followed you there. . ."

Before she could do more hurt to his body, he grabbed her by the arms and shook her, hoping to get some sense into her. "Y-you have to stop this. . ." Angrily, he shook her harder. ". . .and you have to stop that stupid show, Renee! A lot of people could be hurt." He released his hold on her and turned away slightly. "You're hurting a lot of people. . ."

Renee shrugged out of his grasp and turned away, laughing manically. "What lot of people? You and Mac?" She laughed again and sat at the end of his cot. "It's going to be so wonderful watch that bitch crash and burn."

Harm was completely horrified at how anyone could change so drastically. Deep inside he felt a sharp pain trying to lay blame on him. But he knew he didn't cause this and if he did, it wasn't intentional. He only hoped this wasn't punishment for the way they'd ended. Their breakup wasn't one of his most stellar moments. "How'd you find out those things about Mac and I?"

Renee shrugged. "Take a guess."

"HOW?" He yelled at her. It unnerved him that he couldn't frighten her, that any attempt to control this conversation had flown out the window.

An evil grin appeared on her lips. "Maybe you told me?"

The blood in his veins, that was boiling a few minutes earlier had started to freeze. What if there had been validity to what Mac had implied? What if he had told her?

Renee was enjoying the shell-shocked appearance on his face. She stood from his bunk and slipped on the jeans she'd been wearing. Grabbing her shirt, she glanced over at him and grinned. "And I am not nearly done yet."

Before she had a chance to reach the hatch of his stateroom, Harm grabbed her arm, spinning her around to face him. "Don't do this. . ."

Maybe it was something in the look of his eyes. Perhaps it was the power she was wielding over his head. Something made her relent for just a second. Or so it seemed. "You want to fix things?" Harm nodded. She leaned into him, whispering into his ear. "Break it off with her for good."

Harm shook his head. "I love her."

She tucked her shirt into her jeans and then shrugged without a care in the world. "Then burn in Hell, Rabb."

After opening the hatch, she turned and blew a kiss at him, a strange sight for one of the female sailors onboard. Walking towards Renee, the young woman stood with her hands behind her back, glancing between the woman and the open hatch. "Something the matter, ma'am?"

Renee looked at the young woman and smiled brightly. "Everything is great, thank you."

Harm stood and made his way to the opened hatch, noting that the young woman had not left, but rather, was staring at him oddly. "Sir, you might want to take care of that." She pointed to his chest and then headed down the passage way.

Harm watched her leave, furling his brow in confusion. "Take care of what?" Looking down at his chest, he found the marks Renee had left with her nails. Little ripples of blood were coming to the surface of his skin. It was then that he noted a sharp pain in the area. A pain that he hadn't felt due to adrenaline running so hard, trying to figure Renee out.

He washed the cuts with water and soap, but the marks were there and probably would be for a few more days. He only hoped that they would heal sooner than later, because explaining the cuts wasn't high on his to-do list.

Sleep came easy for him that night, but the nightmares came just as easier. He was able to dream of him and Mac again, but this time it wasn't pleasant. They were back in the ocean, being tossed about in the mother of all storms. He saw her body at the crest of the wave and swam hard, trying to reach her. When he did, two lifeless eyes stared back at him, she was dead. And the nightmares weren't the only demons he had to deal with.

The next morning, he was summoned up to the mess as he was preparing for his last round of quals. When he arrived the Captain, XO as well a Corporal and a few of the 'ZULU' crew members, stood by a disheveled Renee Peterson. She looked as if she'd been attacked by someone. Her lower lip was bloody and bruised, one of her eyes had a hell of a shiner. And there were slight marks up and down her arms, marks created by large hands. "What happened?" He tried moving towards Renee, but the Corporal shoved him back. "Corporal, let me pass! That's an order."

The Captain stared at Harm in disgust, shaking his head from side to side. "Corporal, take Mr. Rabb into custody."

"Custody?" Harm's eyes went as wide as saucers when he saw the Corporal pull out handcuffs. "Sir, what are the charges?"

"Rape."

Harm glance at Renee who was sobbing, curled up with the actor that played Hawk. She glanced at him and started sobbing again, hiding her eyes away from him. The picture all went into place now and Harm stood by speechless until he felt the Corporal trying to grab his wrists. "No, I didn't do anything!"

"Oh no?" The XO said. "According to Ms. Peterson, she left you a parting gift." Walking over to Harm he unzipped his flight suit and pulled up his undershirt to find Renee's nail marks oh his chest. "Then how did these get there?"   
---------------------------------------------   
Foxy - I LOOOOVE Airplane and I know the part you are talking about. Cracks me up everytime. If you see Airplane 2 (One of the few flicks with a good sequel ;)), they do the same thing to her while she is on the stand in court. LOL! 

Joanoa - Hey!! Share the alcohol!!! 

Lori - Renee's helo going down. . . Hmmm. . . :::grins evily::: Naw, I need her for bit longer then I'll through it to all the Rabid Harm and Mac fans ;) 

BrokenSkye - Don't die!! The story is not worth you dying over!!! If anything, we'll just kill Renee!! How's that? :) 

Charm - 'fraid she did say Mac was "all talk", the nerve!! 

Hieros - If we keep on comparing weapons, we'll be bored soon. ;) Rather than attacking me, kill Renee, it's okay, it's the "IN" thing apparently ::Shrugs:: ;)

LtJGMeg - Permission Denied. I need her for a few more scenes. After her services (pun TOTALLY NOT INTENDED!! EWW!) are fullfilled, it's first come first serve at offing her. ;) 

NavyBabe - YAY!! Someone else who believes in government conspiracys!! It had to happen at some point!! I Mean, someone has to get back at Harm for all the planes he's ditched. ;)

XBlue - Yep, I'd say she fcked everything up alright. BTW - That mallet of yours - TOTALLY missed Renee. Calix, help her aim better. ;)

Froggy - Yer not the only one wanting to chuck things, miracle Mac restrained herself. ;)


	15. Tell Me Where It Hurts

Here's another chappie. I am trying to put out another one this week, but it's doubtful. I've had too much work and some extracurricular activities getting in the way. As well as mom's birthday, my cousin's baby shower and my best friends nephew's birth day. I am fried at the moment. I wanted to get this all done and finished before Thanksgiving, but, okay, we'll see. There will be either 2 or 3 chapters more.

Okay, so here is 15.

Enjoy! J.

Thanks to: XBlueShadowX, LieutenantjgMegAustin , maidenpride21, froggy0319, Navy Babe, Hieros Gamos, Charmboy4, blonde-brain, Anaika Skywalker, Charmboy4, zeilfanaat, Nikki, jaggurl, achaon, cbw, Manda May, FoxyWombat, zeilfanaat, Jackia, DD2, xobabygurlxo, Kitty25, Lori, amanda cook, joanoa, G, Cristina, Lori, BrokenSkye, ami, iammusic, unknown, mandaj97, Jagfan724, ashnic6289, KittyX25, Deb, & Jenny, for all the feedback. :) You lurkers - :::points::: you too. ;)

PART 15– Tell Me Where It Hurts

0125 Zulu   
AJ Chegwidden's House   
McLean, Virginia

The night air was cold, but Harm felt even colder inside. How could anyone accuse him of such a heinous and disgusting crime? Sure, he'd had his sexist, pigheaded moments with women, but to be accused of rape and dirty his name was just too much. Breaking up with Renee had been the correct decision for all party's involved. They would never have been happy together, this he knew and understood. He knew she had been badly hurt and it wasn't easy to get over such a hit to the ego, but what she was doing to him, to them, defied anything he could have ever dreamt possible. When she mentioned a plot of revenge against him and Mac, Harm thought that she would be back to cause some sort of scene. Unfortunately, she caused more than one scene, luckily, the show was preempted this week and if the higher ups had their way, it would never be seen again. "Here you go, Harm." Looking up, Harm found AJ offering him a beer.

Harm grabbed the bottle and look a long pull, alcohol probably wasn't the solution at the moment, but he needed to relax and feel lose. Ever since he was accused he felt tense and out of sorts. "Thank you."

His CO sat next to him, on the steps outside of his home. AJ managed to get the ball rolling early on because no more than twenty minutes after Harm had been cuffed, he received a call from the Captain. He vehemently argued against the accusation and was more than astonished to hear that the accuser was non-other than Renee Peterson. Within the day, he had worked on everything to have Harm flown back to DC. Though the Captain was the convening authority in the matter, he man knew better than to argue with an Admiral especially when he was the Navy JAG. Right away AJ made sure people knew Harm was not a flight risk, nor did he need to be put into the brig.

Though he was fearing his return to Washington, Harm was relieved to find his commanding officer on his side. Furthermore, the Admiral had requested to be his counsel, Harm knew he would be zealously represented and trusted AJ's capable litigation skills.

"How are you doing Harm?" The Admiral had asked Harm over to his house, figuring it would be better for them to go over things in a non-work like environment. Mainly though, AJ was trying to avoid the media and the picking the would do at his client.

"With all due respect, sir. . . like shit." He took another swig of his beer.

Chuckling, AJ patted Harm on the back, then grabbed his shoulder comfortingly. He wasn't going to leave any of his people alone when they needed him the most. "Harm, I am going to be your lawyer so while we are not around the office or the usual venues, it's AJ not sir."

Harm looked over and offered a half smile. "Alright, AJ."

"So, how are you and Mac, doing?" AJ knew he was traipsing into dangerous waters the moment Harm grasped the beer bottle with two hands.

The younger man's eyes went skyward and then down to the ground, seemingly in embarrassment. "Haven't seen her since I got back. .. not sure if she wants to see me." He said, sighing deeply at what Mac would think once news got to her. Hell, he knew that news had to have reached her by now, he imagined it would be the end of them.

"It'll pass. . . But, I don't want the two of you consorting too much at ops." AJ replied in a stern tone. It was more of a precaution than anything. "For that matter, don't consort too much with anyone."

Defensively, Harm cast the Admiral a look and angrily tightened his jaw at the implication. "We've never carried ourselves improperly at ops, sir."

"No, you haven't. . ." AJ agreed, "But I don't want to give the prosecution any suggestions on who to put on the stand. . . I want to keep as much of the staff out of this as possible."

Harm nodded, he agreed with AJ's logic. Any witness, even those of the defense, could have their words used against them and essentially against him. "And I want to keep Mac out of it, if at all possible sir."

"We're on the same wavelength then." AJ reached into a small cooler he'd brought out earlier and fished out another beer. Cracking it open, he offered it to Harm.

"So who is prosecuting?" Harm took the proffered bottle and placed the other, empty bottle next to him.

AJ cracked open another bottle and sighed. It was always amusing just how quickly our normally slow legal system worked when they had an axe to grind. The prosecution was probably set up even before AJ had a chance to request defense. "Well you are going to love this. . . Teddy Lindsay." He had vivid pictures of Lindsay probably sitting around waiting for the right moment to pounce all over a case of this magnitude. The fact that it was against one of the JAG crew, must have had Lindsay salivating.

"Lindsay? He'll come at us with guns a blazing." Nervously, he began ripping off the label of the bottle, wadding it up and tossing it into the empty.

That couldn't be denied, however the Admiral was having some sort of pleasure at going up against Commander Lindsay. Through the years the man had been a thorn at his side and a man that didn't deserve to wear the uniform on his back. "Oh, I have a few tricks of my own. . . but seriously Harm. . until it's all over, you and Mac."

"Sir, we've never carried ourselves in any manner but professional . ." He reiterated. "Even more so since we've been together. . . On investigations the Colonel and I have stayed in separate quarters in VOQs, ships, even civilian hotels . . . The only times we've been out as a couple has been to dinners and we never go out wearing our uniform." It was the truth, since they'd been going out, Harm and Mac had opted to keep a low profile. At first, it was just because they'd wanted to enjoy time together without anyone else knowing, there was a rush in the thrill of being caught in an intimate setting. Then, it was just to keep problems at work and within the chain of command to a minimum.

"Harm I am not judging your relationship. . . and I don't want Lindsay to use her knowledge of you against our case."

"Knowledge, sir. . Uh, AJ?"

Ever since the wheels of the case against Harm started churning, AJ could imagine the types of things the prosecution would bring up. They had a lot of ammo, if 'ZULU' had any validity to it. "You told me that ZULU was basically about your life with Mac, correct?" At Harm's nod, AJ took a breath an continued. "Then that episode, when Sam tries to avenge her ex-lover's death. . .Did it happen?"

"I. . ." In shame, Harm hung his head low. Would he have killed Holbarth? He still didn't know, but was glad Mac was there to save him. "Yes. . . it happened."

"But Mac stopped you." AJ knew that the two always had quite the history, but to this extent, it surprised him. Very few people would do so much to keep the other safe.

Harm understood what AJ was suggesting. That due to the intimate knowledge Mac knew about him, she would be the prime witness. It would make things that much more tricky if she was. Would she lie on the stand to protect him? "I see what you are getting at. . . the prosecution will try to find a pattern of irregular behavior and then use her intimate knowledge of my life to incriminate me."

"Exactly. . ." The Admiral finished off his beer and went to offer another to Harm who showed him a half-full bottle. There was one bit of light at the end of the tunnel. "Seeing as no one knows where they got the information, the Navy is going after Taramount and as a result, the show's been cancelled with no chance of getting renewed. . . There are some episodes that were already filmed, but they are being reviewed before airing. . . Yours and the Colonel's records are so sealed that not even the President can look into them. . . within a few weeks all of this should fall by the wayside."

Harm extended his hand to AJ. "AJ, thank you. . . for everything."

"Leaving already, Commander?" He shook Harm's head and patted him on the back.

"Need some sleep sir. . ."

AJ stood and walked Harm over to his SUV. "Well it's the weekend. . .try to get some rest and I'll see you on Monday morning."

"Aye aye, sir. . . and thank you."

0320 Zulu   
Harm's Apartment   
North of Union Station

Harm was mildly surprised that he didn't have to run into any news reporters in order to get into his apartment. Still, he was looking around, being very cautious as he went up the elevator and walked into his haven. He was too wired to sleep and though he was exhausted, the place needed a bit of a clean up, so he got to work. Anything that kept him busy prevented him from driving himself crazy thinking about the case. So, he changed into a pair of oversized, comfortable jeans and an old 'FLY NAVY' t-shirt and began to clean.

It was nearly ten thirty, when a knock at his door brought him out of him methodical cleaning and into the real world. He was seated on the floor, just in front of the kitchen island, tightening the screws in the legs of his barstools. Harm cringed the second time he heard a knock and was tempted to yell at whoever it was at the other side to just go away. He had nothing to say to anyone, especially the media. Standing, he placed the screwdriver on the island, dusted his hands over his jeans and headed towards the door. In a slight fit of annoyance, he yanked it open, determined to tell whoever it was to back off. "Don't you guys have better things to. . ." His words were cut off completely as if someone had knocked the wind out of him. He stared out as if seeing a ghosts and was readying himself for an onslaught when the person on the other side, crashed into his arms.

Mac had been standing outside of his door for a good twenty minutes before she had the nerve to knock. Inside she would hear him rummaging through things, cursing loudly when whatever he was doing wasn't going his way. She should have stayed home and just waited for him to come to her, but she couldn't and she wouldn't. She needed to see him, to know he was safe and sound. When he opened the door, she felt such a wave of emotion in knowing he was alive and well that any speech she had prepared flew out the window. She needed to feel his arms around her, so she moved into his arms and searched his lips out with her own.

They kissed, long and passionately as if they were starving and that was the only form of nourishment. Harm's strong arms wrapped around Mac's body, crushing her close to him. Somehow, he managed to close the door with his foot and not interrupt his welcome home. Breaking apart, Mac looked up at him with a bit of awe in her eyes, though they hadn't been apart for too long, she realized how much they needed each other. "I've missed you, terribly."

Leaning down, he kissed her again, refusing to let her out of his arms. "I've missed you too, Sarah. . . Let's forget about what happened, please?" In the time away, he'd thought long and hard about what to do or what to say when he bumped into Mac, everything came to a halt when their lips met. Truthfully, he didn't' want to be angry and he was too tired to care about what had happened in the past. Reluctantly, he let her go, following her with his eyes as she walked towards his computer and flipped it on. "How are you?"

Mac looked over at him and shrugged. "Not well, actually. . .I need to show you something."

"And I need you to know something."

"I need you to see this first, Harm. . .It's important, very important." He was going to tell her about the accusation and how their large problem had become an extra large one. But, there seemed to be something more important on her mind, so he decided to forget about it for the moment. Mac waited patiently for the computer to boot up then slipped a CD into the CD tray. Selecting the correct folders, she stopped and turned to Harm who was eyeing her suspiciously. "Please, come here."

There was a sadness in the tone of her voice that matched the look in his eyes causing him to pale and feel sick. With a mild trepidation, he grabbed one of the chairs from the kitchen table and placed it next to his desk chair. He lowered himself into the chair, watching carefully as Mac selected a folder labeled '2001.'

That folder opened up another series of folders that started with 'January 2001' and made it's way to 'May 2001' where the folders ended. "What is this?"

Mac sighed nervously, looking anywhere but towards Harm. "My diary."

"Diary?" Harm was now totally confused, what was so important about a diary?

"It's a bit silly, but I started keeping one as a project for law school and ever since then It's been like a friend. . ." Mac had detailed every day of her life since law school, missing only a few entries when it had become completely impossible to type in anything. She'd kept the diary in floppy discs at first, but then copied everything onto CDs where a higher volume of information could be kept. They'd always been well kept, hidden from prying eyes and password protected, just in case. But, it was the week of her wedding, long before Harm's quals or her investigation came up, that she'd made a copy.

"I don't understand, Mac."

"You will." She double clicked the 'May 2001' folder and then on a file labeled 'May 12th – Engagement Party.' "Read this." Standing, Mac walked away from the computer and towards his kitchen. For some reason, she didn't want to be around when he read it, so she decided to make coffee.

Harm waited for his computer to open up the file and then started reading. 'What am I going to do? Tonight was my engagement party at the Admiral's. It was a nice party, well, was supposed to be a nice party but something happened and I don't know how to feel about it.

Harm and I spent the evening outside talking about nothing and everything. I am not sure, but I think, in a round about way, he told me that he loves me. Can you believe that? I am marrying another man and NOW he hints his feelings towards me.' Harm swallowed hard, thinking about how idiotic he had been with Mac through the years. He could have had her rather than let her go off with Brumby.

Glancing towards the kitchen, he saw Mac busing herself, obviously this was too much for her to be witnessed to and soon, he read why. 'We kissed. . . deeply, passionately, like if it was the end of the world, earth shattering kinda kiss. And the moment we broke away, I felt my heart shatter into a million pieces. I don't know what to tell Mic, or if I should tell Mic. And I have no idea what I should say to Harm on Monday. . . All I know is that, we kissed and I wanted it, and he wanted it. Damnit, but why now? Now I am so confused and I know those feelings are dangerous. Should I marry Mic? Should I call it off? What about Harm? What about his girlfriend? What about me? As much as I want to deny my feelings for Harm. . . I'm in love with him and always will be. . . always. God help me.' It really wasn't anything that Harm didn't already know. He figured as much that she'd always been in love with him, but, to see something written by her on that day tugged at his heart strings.

Glancing up he found a freshly brewed cup of coffee on his desk and Harm seated next to him. She had a frightened expression as if she'd divulged too much too soon. When he continued to look at her in confusion, she clarified. "There are a lot of things like that in there, Harm. . . the kiss at Norfolk, me falling off the wagon. . . Australia. . ."

Then it dawned on him. "THIS is how she found out?" Mac nodded slowly, biting her lower lip in hopes that he wouldn't jump all over her indiscretion. "How? How'd she get it."

"I was angry that you wanted to fly rather than be there on a day that I really needed you there." She took a sip of her coffee, receiving some warmth. "The day we left for the carrier, I placed a copy of that CD with this note in the top drawer of your desk."

"Why?"

"Because I wanted you to know the feelings I had for you." She stood abruptly, pacing wildly across his hardwood floors. "I loved you so much, yet, so much had gone so wrong. . . I don't know I was hoping that you would understand. You looked so sad that night of my engagement party, but you weren't the only one sad, Harm. . . I knew the moment I said 'I do' that our friendship would be over. And that is the price I paid, if it meant that Mic could help me get over you. . .But it didn't work and the night we kissed. . . Damnit, For the first time in my life, I had the only man I'd ever really wanted with every fiber of my being." Done wearing out the floors she stopped and turned to him. "In some, stupid, last minute attempt, I wanted to do something. . . I was hoping you'd stop me from marrying him." She walked towards him, exhaustedly sinking into the chair. "I was too weak to stop it myself and too strong to admit that I couldn't stop thinking about you."

Harm looked away for a moment, thoughtfully recalling one tiny detail. "I never saw that disc, Mac. . . nor any letter from you."

"The night we went down, everyone wet over to ops in order to keep track of the SAR crew's progress. . . according to Harriet, Renee was in your office the whole time." Mac tightened her jaw. "Don't ask me if I am sure, because I am. . .the things on the episodes, nothing ever came from just Sam's standpoint. It was always something that she and Hawk did together. . .and there were things, personal things that I described in the journal that NO ONE knew about, yet they appeared on screen." Mac noted Harm turning away from her, his eyes taking that thoughtful look again. The silence, from his end, was killing her. "Harm, talk to me please."

"What do you want me to say, Mac?. . ."

"Anything. . . even if it's to say that you hate me."

Harm turned to her and sighed. "I don't hate you. . .I don't think I am capable of hating you. . . I am just. . . pissed off with this. She crawled into our lives and we couldn't do a damn thing to stop it. . . do you realize how vulnerable I feel?"

"Just as vulnerable as I feel, Harm. . . if I wouldn't have placed that CD in your desk. . ."

Harm stopped her, placing his hand gently on her shoulder. "Don't do that. . .She had no business going through my desk."

Mac felt the lump in her throat, and tried to swallow it down, but it was no use. "I want this to end, Harm. . . I want us to be okay."

Instinctively, he brought her into his arms, rocking her gently, feeling her tears wet his shirt. "Mac. . . shhh."

Sniffling she looked up at him and smiled softly. "Some Marine I am, huh? Crying like that."

"You're a Marine, but you're human first, Sarah. . . we're allowed to cry, you know?"

Mac nodded, there was no denying that he was right about that, but it still bothered her to break down, it was something that she'd left behind the day she became a Marine. "I guess I'd better go." She tried pulling out of his embrace, unsure at just how things would work between them now. Inside, she hoped he'd ask her to stay, but would he?

"Stay, I need you to stay." Smiling softly, he motioned towards his bedroom. "You left your cowboy jammies here."

Mac couldn't help but laugh. "Yea, I know. . .I was hoping they wouldn't become a parting gift."

"Never." With that, he kissed her and somehow felt a force between them that was much stronger than Renee and her stupid show and accusation. "C'mon, Mac. . . I'm beat."

Not much was really said while they readied themselves for bedtime. Harm was laying in bed, waiting for her to finish getting ready. She did wear the Cowboy jammies and he laughed at how cute she looked in them. "What are you laughing about, flyboy?"

Harm shrugged innocently. "You look cute in those." He raised the comforter up so that she could slid into bed with him and once she did, their lips met in another kiss. It felt like forever since they were last like this, just being Harm and Sarah. The outside world didn't matter to them at that moment, nothing did. It was the one time when no one could touch them. But even then, as they were innocently kissing each other goodnight, someone's evil ways was threatening to destroy the moment.

Mac's hand had wandered from Harm's cheek, down his throat and towards his chest. He'd shuddered slightly at her touches, but she made nothing of it. It was, as she lifted his t-shirt to touch his bare chest that Harm pushed her away from him and bolted upright. He slid away slightly, placing his head in his hands as he breathed erratically. Mac was confused, terribly confused, had she done something wrong? "Harm? . . Harm, what is it?" She made to place a hand on his shoulder to soothe him, but the action made him jump when she made contact. Something was definitely wrong. "Harm?"

Harm just sat at the end of the bed, trying to stop his head from spinning. Everything had been find with him and Mac until the moment her hands moved to his chest. It was then that the raw emotions started to overwhelm and choke him. He wasn't in his bedroom anymore, but back on the Henry, Renee, straddling him, her nails digging into his flesh leaving marks that would toss him into a nightmare. "I'm. . fine." He barely managed to choke the words out, emotion had taken control of him. Without him even knowing how it happened, he was sobbing lightly. "Damnit . . she's even destroying THIS."

Mac tried placing her hand on his shoulder again and breathed a sigh of relief when he let her. Slowly, she slid herself to the end of the bed and wrapped her arms around him. "What's going on?"

He turned to look at her and she could see the tears running down his cheeks. "I knew you were going to find out eventually. . . but, I didn't want to ruin spending time with you to night. . . I didn't want to tell you."

"Tell me what?" No more surprises, she dreaded anything that he had to say simply because everything was spinning so out of control that she couldn't get a handle on it. What else was she going to have to deal with?

Harm took a breath and moved himself backwards, leaning against the wall behind his bed. He looked at her as he raised his t-shirt up, showing her the angry red marks that hadn't yet started to heal.

Mac furled her brow then it dawned on her, those were marks made by someone's nails. She'd left similar ones on his body before, but they would normally be gone by morning. What she was seeing now, made her sick to her stomach. "She did this?"

"Yes." Harm sighed deeply, looking away in shame. "She did this and when I woke up the next morning. . .I was taken into custody because she claimed that I. . ."

Mac didn't allow for him to finish his sentence because she knew too well what had happened. Now, the voracity of Renee's revenge angered her beyond belief. The normally level-headed Colonel was thinking of plotting her own form of vengeance. "How could she do this to you!" She moved towards Harm, sitting next to him in angle where she could see the wounds much better. The woman, she deduced, must have used all of her force to cut him in such a brutal way. She willed down her anger as much as possible, before looking into Harm's eyes. "Have you put anything on it?"

"Neosporin. . ."

Mac frowned. "Does it hurt?"

"When I shower, sometimes it bothers me when I move."

"When I touched you?"

"It didn't hurt, the wince was just. . . like a reaction." Reaction was right, though it would have happened with anyone that touched him in that area.

Noting the tube of Neosporin by his side of the bed, Mac reached over and took it. She squeezed a generous amount on her fingers and began gingerly applying it to the cuts. "Has anyone seen this?"

"Yes, and it's been photographed to be used as evidence." Harm stopped Mac's hands and waited for her eyes to meet his own. "I didn't do it. . . I couldn't do that, to anyone."

"I know." She said in a soft voice. "I believe you, Harm. . ." She stopped herself from stating the obvious, that with wounds like that it was going to be a bit more difficult to present a good defense for him, but she knew that he knew. The only thing left was to figure out who was on his side. "Who's defense?"

"Chegwidden." He flinched as she went over a particularly sore area and then frowned slightly. He had to tell her the rest, that, as of Monday, they couldn't see each other until the trial was over. "Mac, there's something else. . ."

---------------   
Christina - I doubt she would have gone THIS far, but yea, I'd totally she her go friggin nuts. 

XBlue - Mallet's won't work. :::Wispers::: She's over there!! ::Points wildly:: Psyche!!! AHAHA. :::runs for her own life::

ashnic - Ask and thou may receive. ;) 

maiden - LOVE the way you think! Where canI purchase such devices? Wholesale prices please, migh need to buy a dozen and hand them out to other readers. ;) 

joanoa - Vodka or tequila would be wonderful, thanks. Actually, I'd go fora Cosmo haven't had thatin aaaaaaaaaages. ::hands over a $20::

Everyone wanting to kill Renee, I'll put a raffle up, whoever wins gets to kill her, deal? ;)


	16. When Desire Creates Entropy

Okay, we're getting the ball rolling on the article 32. Hopefully I don't bore anyone. I won't draw out the whole case too long, I promise. By my count, there are 3 more chapters after this one. I might put two together, but maybe not. . . depends on whether or not an idea of mine that I jotted down late last night pans out. ;) Don't want it to be too soapoperaish. :P

Well, here we go, thank you for the feedback, have a good weekend everybody. I am hoping not to drop from exhaustion over the weekend, have a lot to do tomorrow, gotta get up too early for it and will probably be home too late. The joy! ;)

Thanks to: XBlueShadowX, LieutenantjgMegAustin , maidenpride21, froggy0319, Navy Babe, Hieros Gamos, Charmboy4, blonde-brain, Anaika Skywalker, Charmboy4, zeilfanaat, Nikki, jaggurl, achaon, cbw, Manda May, FoxyWombat, zeilfanaat, Jackia, DD2, xobabygurlxo, Kitty25, Lori, amanda cook, joanoa, G, Cristina, Lori, BrokenSkye, ami, iammusic, unknown, mandaj97, Jagfan724, ashnic6289, KittyX25, Deb, KittyX, mara-rabb,sothernqt, Jenny & Stace, for all the feedback. :) You lurkers - :::points::: you too. ;)

Enjoy!

Jackie

(Two Notes: 1 – I know little to nothing about law, don't freak out if something is un-lawlike. ;) I tried my best. 2- Though it is a rape case, I am not going to write up a big, in detail explanation as to what Renee says happened. I explained it over 2-3 lines and not in very much detail. I believe rape is a very serious crime, I do not glorify it, I do not condone it and, to not make people uncomfortable with this story, I won't go into details.)

PART 16 – When Desire Creates Entropy

1520 Zulu   
Harm's Apartment   
North of Union Station

Harm and Mac were holding onto each other while they slept. Though it would seem that his strong arms were wrapped around her protectively and possessively, it was quite the opposite. It was Mac taking the role of protector this time. They had talked about Chegwidden's suggestion for them to not to cohort until the trial was over. Mac did not take the news badly at all, in fact, she was going to request to be sent away TAD in hopes that it would make it difficult for Lindsey to get a hold of her. He'd broken down in the middle of the night, do the typical Harm thing and blaming himself over something neither of them could take the blame for. So Mac had held and soothed him her heart breaking because they were both stuck in the middle, neither had a solution. It was all a waiting game.

He'd woken up late that morning, well, later that usual and found her arms wrapped tightly around him. Harm smiled slightly seeing her brown eyes lock onto his. He leaned forward and kissed her softly on the lips. "Morning."

"Morning." They'd had many mornings like that, waking up in some semblance of peace and though there was so much hanging by a string, Mac was trying her hardest to not let Renee and her stupidly ruin their last weekend together. "What do you want for breakfast?"

Harm chuckled. "You're going to cook?"

Mac grinned mischievously.. "Hey, I never said I couldn't cook."

"No, you said you could microwave very well." He retorted, chuckling as Mac playfully whacked him on his backside. When she made to move away, he tightened his arms around her pulling her back to him. "Well, maybe all I want for breakfast is you?"

"Tempting, yes. . . but this Marine needs food to function." She said with a wink, laughing when his arms released her and Harm laid back in bed with a dramatic sigh. She gave him a saucy look as she disappeared behind the cubed wall of his bathroom. As she showered, Harm propped himself up against the wall behind the bed, watching her figure through the slightly opaque cubes. There were times of the day, when not even interior light would reflect what was going on in the shower. But in the mornings, when the sun was shining directly through the window in the bathroom, he had quite a show. He would have joined her, but he wasn't ready to face her again when it came to the marks Renee had left on his chest, he "parting gift" as the XO of the Patrick Henry had so delicately put it. He cringed at the thought, noting how they'd taken pictures of it and in all likelihood, taking samples from under Renee's nails to match his skin. With a long sigh, he threw himself off the bed and headed into the kitchen to at least get the coffee started, they were going to need a lot of it today.

Mac did her best to create some sort of breakfast while Harm showered. Since he had not been around for sometime and she'd been too hurt and angry to go to his apartment, a lot of the things had to be thrown away. The eggs were still good, as was the bread, orange juice and a package of microwaveable pancakes that she'd left from the last time she'd been over. She poured herself a cup of coffee and took a sip, black was definitely the way to go today. Harm trudged into the kitchen and she was surprised when, for once, he took it the same way. Suffice to say, they both had a rather rough night.

"Since when do you have a TV?" Mac asked, walking towards the living room with a cup of coffee in her hand.

Harm, who was cleaning dishes, glanced over and grinned. "You like watching movies, so. . . I kinda had an epiphany."

Mac chuckled, placed her mug on the coffee table and glanced at the electronic. "Wow, even has a built in DVD player, flyboy, I am impressed." She couldn't help but laugh harder when Harm walked into the living room holding a Disney DVD called 'Dinosaurs'. The smile on his face widened when Mac took it enthusiastically.

"Thought you'd like it." He smiled broadly, settling himself into the sofa, letting Mac deal with the DVD player that he still had no inkling on how it worked.

Mac sat on the edge of the coffee table, punching buttons on the remote control. "I love it. . .nice to know you pay attention."

"It's not like you've been subtle about it, I mean you have a big ol' dinosaur in your apartment."

"Who was nameless until you decided to give him that ridiculous name." She turned to him and grinned. "What was the name again?"

"Petey the pterodactyl." Harm laughed despite himself, it was after all one of the stupidest things he'd ever done in her presence. One that was the cause for a lot of ribbing and a confession that Harm used to name all of his stuffed animals and toys even when he was a teen.

Mac settled on the sofa, laughing along with him. "Well Petey, misses you." She laid her head on his shoulder and chanced a look upward finding a sad expression on Harm's face. She knew what he was thinking, because every time the silence surrounded them, it was there, waiting to swoop down and tear them apart all over again. "Harm, I know it's in the back of our minds but. . .Chegwidden is the best, he won't stop until you are cleared."

"I know that, Mac." He smiled ruefully.

Mac frowned, reached over for the remote and hit pause. "What else is on your mind?"

"You, me. . .Us." He said sadly with a deep sigh. "If something happens."

"Nothing is going to happen, Harm." She said forcefully, interrupting him before he started throwing a pity party that he didn't need. Mac wanted him to keep his head level during all of this, if clients that they knew were guilty could be seen as innocent, Harm would be spared as well.

"Maaaaac." He tried a warning tone, but she would not have it.

"No, don't do this to yourself, nothing is going to happen to you or us. . .I am not going to lose you and you are not going to lose me."

Though he believed that, his heart wouldn't let him be selfish when it came to her. "I know we are strong, I know we can weather this, but if things don't go in my favor. . ." When she made to interrupt again, Harm shifted his body and brought a hand up to silence her. "No. Listen." He sighed deeply, much of his loss of sleep was because of her and the life he didn't want her to lose because of him. "If I end up in Leavenworth, I want you to go on with life Mac. . . I want you to pretend I don't exist."

She stared at him for a moment, in total shock of his request. How could she just pretend he wasn't in her life. To Mac, being without Harm was the equivalent of being deprived of oxygen. "I can't do that."

"You have to, Mac. . . I don't want you to become those women that spend their lives visiting their husband or boyfriend with bars or plexiglass separating them." He shook his head angrily. "You are young, smart, beautiful. . .You deserve, especially after all you've been through, to have a full life. Not wait around, for me if things go wrong. . ."

"Harm. . ."

He looked down and away, it wasn't just her lost life he was concerned about, but the deprivation he would feel. "It's not you. . .It's me as well. . . I couldn't survive if you came to see me. . . especially now that we've connected. . . I couldn't live seeing you but not being about to be with you."

Mac knew the apprehension and the fears, she lived it long ago when Christ Ragle was hauled off to jail and she was forced to see him behind bars. Back then it was different, she and Chris didn't' have the profound love and connection that she and Harm did. But, it was still difficult knowing the man you were with wouldn't be let out for years. Eventually, when it started becoming too difficult for her to see Chris, she began drinking much more heavily than before. She had Eddie, the closest friend she had, a guy she could confide in without strings attached, because, he too, had a screwed up family life. The night of their graduation party, everything was taken away from her and Sarah MacKenzie had to rebuild her life from scratch. She swallowed hard at the thoughts of falling into such despair if she didn't have Harm with her. She understood that years of deprivation, after years of yearning, would probably destroy her. Still, she believed in a greater good, that people who weren't guilty, were supposed to be free. "You're not going to Leavenworth Harm, the Admiral will make sure of that. . ."

1620 Zulu   
JAG Headquarters   
Falls Church, Virginia

The Article 32 had started promptly at 10am Monday morning. Nearly half an hour later, Lindsey had the ball rolling. He presented evidence of Renee's attack: the pictures of her nail marks on Harm's chest, DNA information that it was, indeed his skin under her fingernails, pictures of the bruising on her face and the marks of a large hand around her arms. One of the marks on her body, bore a indentation that Lindsey stated was the perpetrator's Academy Ring.

The Admiral stood up. "Objection, your honor, that is purely speculation."

"Sustained." Originally, Captain Owen Seabring was going to be the judge, but seeing as some of the staff judge's at JAG knew the Commander too well, they decided to bring in an outside force. Commander Timothy Naughton wouldn't have been AJ's first choice for a Judge, the man had a habit of being relatively hard on sailors, regardless of their guilt or innocence.

Lindsey turned to his expert witness, Jane Deluca, a medical examiner who was used to figuring things out with small pieces of a puzzle. "Mrs. Deluca, is this, or is this not the mark of a ring?"

Deluca nodded. "Yes it is."

"And from the angle of the blow on Ms. Peterson's body, is the assailant right handed or left handed?"

"Right handed."

Lindsey turned away from the witness and walked towards the defense table, offering AJ and Harm a snide look. "The Commander here is right handed, according to his service record and it appears he does wear his Naval Academy ring on his right hand, there. . ."

AJ stood again. "Objection your honor, calls for a conclusion."

"Sustained, Commander Lindsey, do you have any more questions for this witness?"

"No, your honor." Lindsey sighed.

Judge Naughton motioned towards AJ. "Admiral, you're up."

From his post behind the defense table, AJ stood, and glanced towards Jane Deluca. "Mrs. Deluca, I understand that you never had the chance to examine Ms. Peterson."

"Objection, relevance?" Commander Lindsey said.

AJ turned towards Judge Naughton. "If Mrs. Deluca did not directly examine Ms. Peterson prior to the attack her testimony given here bears no meaning on the case."

Naughton turned to Deluca. "Ma'am, did you or did you not examine Ms. Peterson?"

"No, sir, but. . .we've been trained very well to come to conclusions based on pictures."

Naughton wasn't buying the strategy, as much as he was a hardass, he wanted justice to be done. "From the picture could you deduce, without a shadow of a doubt that the mark in question was from a right handed assailant wearing a large ring?"

"Hypothetically. . ." Lindsey cringed the moment Deluca said that word. Few judges he knew would buy anything remotely close to being hypothetical.

"Yes or No." AJ was quickly liking Naughton, though, he knew that any moment his defense could be shot down, it was nice to have a Judge that, like him, wanted the truth to come out. When the witness wouldn't give an answer, Naughton spoke again. "Ma'am, I'll hold you in contempt. . . YES OR NO, it's a simple question and a simple answer."

Deluca turned towards Lindsey and sighed. "It could be debated. The picture was not enough to go by."

"This witness is dismissed." Whacking the gavel, Naughton looked out into the crowd of JAG staff and JAG officers that were seated behind the prosecution and defense sections. "Seeing as this was a bit of a blow to the prosecution, we'll have a two hour recess." He pointed the gavel towards Lindsey. "Commander, I suggest you check with your witnesses before you put them up on my bench and waste my time, understood?"

No one, except for Harm and AJ saw the scowl that was quickly replaced by an expressionless appearance. "Understood, sir."

(AN: In the early seasons Harm used to wear his Academy ring on his right hand. And eventually it moved to his left hand. I have no clue where you are supposed to wear it, but seeing as, when I graduated HS we would wear the graduation ring on the right hand and the left hand was saved for a wedding band, I am keeping it this way. ;) It also works cos Harm is right handed, I think. ;))

1620 Zulu   
USS. Patrick Henry   
Location Undisclosed

Sunday night Mac had traveled out to the Henry in order to be Harm's replacement onboard until the case had been cleared up. The convening authority, Captain Ingles had requested for a speedy trial and was going to get one. Mac believe it to be a good thing seeing as it wouldn't give Teddy enough time to get his six in gear. It was odd that they had picked Lindsey, out of all JAG lawyers, to be prosecution. The few times she'd run into him, Mac found his ways revolting. He was a horrible officer, caring about nothing but himself. With a snort, she thought that he and Singer would make a great pair.

Sometime that day, she was called to Captain Ingles' stateroom as he was not able to greet her when she'd first arrived on ship. She knocked on the hatch, walked in and stood at attention. "Lt. Colonel MacKenzie reporting as ordered, sir."

From his computer speakers, sounds of what appeared to be a case was pouring out. Hearing the unmistakable tenor of her CO, she knew it was Harm's case. Stoically she stood before the Captain, mentally frowning, wishing she could at lease hear what was going on.

The Captain turned down the speakers once the judge had sent everyone on recess, it was then that he turned to Mac and motioned for her to stand at ease. "You know, Colonel, I still can not believe you and Commander Rabb survived that night." Captain Ingles was referring to the evening of their ejection. "I know you are well trained as a Marine, but you've never received the survival training our pilots go through. . . So tell me, how did you do it?"

"Luck, skipper. . ." Admittedly, they both should have died that night, Harm was severely hypothermic and she was just unprepared.

Captain Ingles leaned back in his chair and studied her for the moment. Though he wouldn't mention it to anyone, he liked Mac, she was a good officer and a damn fin lawyer. Plus, anyone who wasn't afraid to go toe to toe with him, was good in his book. "Luck huh?"

"Yes, sir. . . and someone above who thought it wasn't our time." She smiled ruefully, thinking that maybe their current ordeal was punishment for them not dying in the ocean.

"You're on his side?" Ingles asked, pointing to the computer, referring to Harm's case.

Mac sighed and glared the man down. If he was looking for cheap shots against Harm, she wasn't going to let him use her as the punching bag. "With all due respect, sir. . . You know the answer to that."

"I am too. . . On his side I mean. . . .it's hard to believe Rabb would have done it."

Now Mac was confused, Ingles being the convening authority, if he was on Harm's side, then why did he bother taking this to court? "He didn't do it. . . but, from what you've just told me, I am confused as to why you ordered this to go so far."

"It had nothing to do against the Commander. . .We have a job to do here and when a civilian goes hollerin' rape, we listen." Ingles pointed to a seat and commanded, "Close the hatch and have a seat." He waited for Mac to be comfortable before leaning in and speaking in a voice that only she could hear. "The woman was hysterical, out of control. . .from a glance, it was obvious she'd been attacked. . "

Mac sensed a big ol', "But?"

The Captain's expression changed to a man that seemed insecure about something. "I am not so sure that she was raped."

"Why haven't you said anything?" Mac demanded, easing herself to the edge of her chair, it was totally not something that an officer should do to a senior officer, but she didn't care, it was Harm who was being sabotaged. "Damnit, Captain, he is in a lot of trouble."

"I received orders directly from the SECNAV that I would be driving a garbage barge down the Hudson if I didn't go along with it."

Mac contemplated that for a while. When the SECNAV was involved it usually meant trouble. Her belief that that SECNAV Nelson was a complete idiot. Wasn't he supposed to protect the Navy? Still, there was something in Ingles' composure that was unnerving our fair Colonel, this certainly wasn't information that she was supposed to just stumble across . "Why are you telling me this, sir?"

"Because I don't believe in seeing an innocent man take the fall."

"Why is the SECNAV involved?"

The Captain shifted nervously in his seat, sighing as he turned away and then moved back to face Mac. "Apparently there is some. . . show that Ms. Peterson produces. . .since it has aired, recruitment has gone up, there are more companies willing to do business with our military, broken things are being repaired faster. Hell, Colonel, I even received a brand new bird to cover for the one you and Rabb ditched. . ." He leaned forward, placing his hands on the desk. "SECNAV doesn't want to throw that away."

"So he is letting Harm take the fall?"

"Yes."

Mac contemplated that for a moment, there was no reason Ingles would tell her all of that if there weren't truth to it. "You could get in trouble for this."

"Which is why I want you to look into it, find someone that will listen to you." At Mac's confused look Ingles clarified. "This isn't just about Rabb, it's about the state of our military and what political ass kissers like Nelson do in order to profit. I love the Navy, Colonel, it's my life, it's in my blood. . . but all of this has got to stop." There conversation continued for several more minutes and just as he'd dismissed Mac, he remembered one thing. "By the way, Colonel. . . there is someone that I think you would want to talk to."

An hour later, after a long discussion with the Captain, Mac found herself wearing out the floor of her stateroom. The information she had was very sensitive and she needed to get it out somehow. There were millions of people she could send it to, but, considering he was one of the few people she trusted, Chegwidden was the best person to be the recipient.

1820 Zulu   
JAG Headquarters   
Falls Church, Virginia

"The government calls to the stand, Ms. Renee Peterson." Harm glared at the woman as she entered the courtroom, making her way towards the stand without even looking at him. Lindsey helped her up to the seat. "Do you swear to tell the whole truth, so help you God?" Harm nearly snorted at that comment and resisted the urge to roll his eyes.

Renee took one look at Harm, sniffled for effect and said. "I do."

They went through the regular motions, like getting her background information and some personal details to help the Judge get to know her better. At the mention of the show 'ZULU,' Judge Naughton perked up, he'd been a fan from day one, all account of the girl that played Sam.

"Prior to the alleged occurrences on the Patrick Henry, were you familiar with Commander Rabb?" Lindsey chose his words carefully, noting that Chegwidden would jump over anything he couldn't tie up.

Renee looked over at Harm and immediately teared up. She began shaking and turning away from him, closing her eyes as if he was emanating rays that would hurt her. "Yes. . ." She breathed into the microphone and then "composed" herself enough to finish the rest of it. "He was my fiancé. . . we were together for over a year."

Deciding it was best to let the history between her and Harm drop, he proceeded to guide her through the occurrences on the carrier. "What were you doing aboard the carrier Patrick Henry, Ms. Peterson?" Lindsey stood before her, blocking the visual path between her and Harm, he glared at her, trying to keep her on track.

Renee took a swallow of water and stared up at Judge Naughton with her best doe eyes, smiling slightly. "Well, we were shooting 'ZULU'. . . there was supposed to be an episode where Sam is flying Hawk home for his wedding, but they get. . ."

Harm's eyes went as wide as saucers and before AJ got a chance, he shot up. "Objection, your honor, Mrs. Peterson's TV show is irrelevant." AJ glared over at the younger man, who shoot him a look of apology, then slid back into his chair.

Judge Naughton looked between the two and held his gavel up, pointing it at AJ. "Admiral, I suggest, unless Commander Rabb is sitting second chair in his own trial, that he remains seated and quiet." Looking back towards Lindsey, he conceded with Harm. "Sustained. . ." Sweetly, he smiled at Renee. "Ma'am, though, I do enjoy the show, we need to stick to this case."

Renee nodded, deep inside cursing Harm, Mac, the Admiral, the Judge and even the damned Navy. Batting her eyes at him, she nodded. "Of course, judge."

"Getting back on track Ms. Peterson. . .so we've established that you were onboard. . . Did you bump into Commander Rabb?"

"Yes."

"How many times?"

Renee shrugged, "Twice?"

Lindsey's voice took a soft, almost soothing tone. "I realize this is difficult Ms. Peterson, but what happened the first time you saw the Commander while you were onboard the Patrick Henry?"

"He came over to greet me, but we had a bad breakup and I didn't want to talk to him." Sniffling again, she took a handkerchief she was holding and wiped at the tears. "When I said that I had nothing to say to him and walked away, he said that if I wouldn't come to him, he would go to me."

Lindsey nodded, "I see and did you feel threatened by that remark?"

Renee shook her head. "No, sounded more like a guy that never got over a girl, I really didn't make much of it."

Harm took a very deep breath, managing to somehow not run to the stand actually cause bodily Harm to Renee. "Sir," He whispered to the Admiral. "It was just the opposite, she came up to me, I would have never gone up to her." The Admiral nodded and made a few notes on his legal pad.

Lindsey leaned up against the stand and looked sympathetically at Renee. "Now, Ms. Peterson, I realize how difficult this will be. . . and you can take all the time you need. . . Tell us what happened the second time you met up with Commander Rabb."

Renee glanced over at Harm and then looked away as if he frightened her. "I went to his stateroom. It was the last night we were onboard and I wanted to fix things between us, make sure they were alright." She heaved a few breaths and like clockwork began to breakdown as she gave the account. According to Renee, Harm had pushed her into his cot and when she refused to have sex with him, he forced himself, leaving her with several bruises and a black eye. In defense, she left him the scratches on his chest. After the account, she stood and wildly pointed towards Harm. "I loved him, and. . . and. .He raped me! That son of a bitch RAPED me!!" It took a few minutes for Lindsey and Judge Naughton to calm her down.

When it was the Admiral's turn to take a crack at her, Renee became hysterical again and the Judge thought it would be best for the defense to interview her at another time. Though he didn't want to, the AJ conceded in order not to make the defense seem uncaring or heartless. The court went into recess until 10am the next day and a tired Harm followed the Admiral through the maze that was JAG ops and into his office where he collapsed into one of the Admiral's oversized chairs. "Harm, it isn't over, I'll get a crack at her."

Harm shook his head. "I believe in your lawyering abilities, sir, I really do, but she's been around actors most of her life. It's not like some stupid sailor who did something wrong and we crack under pressure." He threw his hands up in defeat and sighed. "Maybe it's best to work out some plea bargain with Lindsey."

"SNAP TO SAILOR." Harm's pity party had caused the Admiral to be in his face faster than a surface to air missile. "I realize this is an uphill battle, Commander, but you WILL NOT make a jackass of yourself and throw some fucking pity party." The Admiral wasn't usually the type to swear at his subordinates, but after everything he was trying to do for Harm, he wasn't about to accept defeat. "You are an exemplary officer of the United States Navy. You've flown a supersonic jet through the first Gulf Wars and several other campaigns, you beat your eye problem. Hell, son, you managed to live through the mother of all storms. Those things are more insurmountable than some crazed woman claiming that you raped her. Which, no one in this damned building believes you to be capable of." The Admiral took a deep, calming breath. "Now, you are not going to let down the people who are backing you. And you are NOT. . GOING. . TO. . QUIT, Commander. You normally love to fight, so show me that, damnit. . . Now I want you to get your six home and relax, it'll be a long day tomorrow. . . DISMISSED."

Despite himself, Harm felt the 'pep-talk' did screw his head on straight. "Aye, aye, sir." He made a perfect about face and marched out of Chegwidden's office.

Walking around his desk, the Admiral had found something on his computer's taskbar blinking. "What the hell? TINER, get your six in here!"

Petty Officer Jason Tiner appeared at his door with a mild look of trepidation. "Yes, sir?"

"What the hell is this, Tiner?" He pointed at the flashing blue screen, fearful of touching it and opening one of the viruses that Tiner had described could suddenly pop up out of no where. "This isn't a damned virus is it?"

Tiner took a good look at what the task bar. "That must be the Colonel, she asked me to install an IM program on your computer."

AJ glanced up at Tiner. "Iwhat?"

"IM, sir. . . It's short for Instant Messenger, it's a chat device, you can send pictures, use emoticons, play games, even use a web ca. . ."

"I get the picture, Tiner. So it's safe for me to click on?" At an affirmative answer, AJ dismissed his yeoman and clicked on the blinking blue message.

Right away, a window popped up with the screen name LtColMacKenzie. It read. "Sir, this is Mac. There are something's you need to know."   
---------   
XBlue - Don't make me go electroshock on yer six! ;) Besides, I'm a vampire, and not an easy one to kill. ;) 

Manda May - Ask and thou shall receive, eventually. Hope this chappie was good for ya! 

Cristina - Yea, they are back on some sort of track, though I like to write arguments (In case you couldn't tell), fixing them up is fun. There are some nice moments in this chapter (16).

Hieros - Harm gets in too much trouble. Esp when Mac is not around. ;) Technically, in this story, he wasn't accused of a third murder, it's S7 here, Singer's murder is a year away and it's not happening here. I've purposely done very little with the people in JAG ops. Too much of a headache, too many pepopel to write in. :/

Joa - Oh, I so refused to bring the dingo into this one. Brumby AND Renee, talk about painful. Besides, there are a lot of "Brumby is a bad guy" story, I decided to let him stay out of this one. ;) As for the alchol :::points to bar::: we have lots, come on ovr. ;)

Lori - How many tickets? ;)

NavyBabe - Uh, you have some. .. uh, twitching problem. oO, Meanie butt? ROFL!!!! I'll convert that into Jackie speak and in my mind it's a very cool and nice curse word. ;)

mara-Rabb - Mac kicks Renee's six? Sounds like most people want this. ;) 

ashnic - How many tickets do you want? ;) 

Froggy - Well, she might be called back to testify. Though she is off on a ship, they can just send her over. It was just an idea that if she wasn't around, hopefully Lindsey would be too busy to notice.

LtjgMeg - Ummm, you okay? Did you drown? Heheh, stupid question, if you drowned how would you answer me? :::gets out a Tarrot card:: Oh, spirit of LtjgMeg, are thoust there. :::lights flicker::: Umm, o-O.

blonde - Renee has issues. Nothing electroshock won't cure. ;)

Okay, so let's see - How many people would like Mac to kick Renee's sorry six? How many just want her to die? And how many want Mac to kick her six and THEN have REnee die? Not that I am going to write it in, but I might be persuaded to. ;)


	17. The Payback and the Lies

Sorry this took a bit of time to post, I was waiting for to fix its issues. Okay, there is actually ONE part left. I had too much lawerish stuff that I deleted because I was bored reading it. ;) I am hoping to post part 18 either at the end of this week or on Monday. Have mercy on me, it is a holiday weekend and I am working most of it by choice cos X-mas is coming up and since my folks are divorced, I now have a HYPER extended family – (Try an extra 8 members.) and I LOOOOVE buying them X-mas presents. And I am one of these, I gotta get done shopping two weeks before Xmas type of persons. Sad part, I hate malls and hate shopping **::shrugs:::** go figure.

Okay, so there is one part left that will be nice and will tie up ALL lose ends, well, lose ends pertaining to this story. ;)

Thank you for being patient. I do have a small story to post during sometime in December, an all NC-17 story which I've been putting aside until the right time to do a lot of work on it. The time has come ;)

Enjoy the ride is almost over.

Jackie

Thanks to: XBlueShadowX, LieutenantjgMegAustin , maidenpride21, froggy0319, Navy Babe, Hieros Gamos, Charmboy4, blonde-brain, Anaika Skywalker, Charmboy4, zeilfanaat, Nikki, jaggurl, achaon, cbw, Manda May, FoxyWombat, zeilfanaat, Jackia, DD2, xobabygurlxo, Kitty25, Lori, amanda cook, joanoa, G, Cristina, Lori, BrokenSkye, ami, iammusic, unknown, mandaj97, Jagfan724, ashnic6289, KittyX25, Deb, KittyX, mara-rabb,sothernqt, Jenny & Stace, for all the feedback. :) You lurkers - :::points::: you too. ;)

PART 17 – The Payback and the Lies

The Next Day  
1320 Zulu  
JAG Headquarters  
Falls Church, Virginia

Harm sat in AJ's office, nervously waiting round two in front of Judge Naughton. The Admiral was late in coming into the office. But there was a look of victory and perhaps hope? "Sir? Is there news?"

"Some." He slid into his chair and smiled at the Commander. "That girlfriend of. . I mean, the Colonel presented me with some information last night that I believe will definitely help your situation."

Harm looked at the Admiral, patiently awaiting for the man to tell him what the information was. "Well?. . Sir?"

But, AJ kept the suspense until they walked into court and he swore in a witness for the prosecution, Petty Officer Second Class Amanda J. Nichols.

When Mac and Captain Ingles had had their conversation about SECNAV Nelson's involvement, he brought up another point. Actually, more like another person. A day after Harm, Renee and the crew had left the Henry, news about the supposed attack got around to Petty Officer Nichols, who went to the Captain in order to dispute the allegation. She was the one that had seen Renee blowing a kiss at Harm as she stepped out of his stateroom. "Petty Officer Second Class Amanda J. Nichols. . . I am an electronics technician aboard the USS Patrick Henry." It wasn't very difficult to get the young woman to appear in behalf of Harm's defense, the Patrick Henry was in need of some repairs and was headed towards Norfolk.

"I assume you know the layout of the ship very well, then?"

Petty Officer Nichols turned her head and smiled slightly. "To coin a phrase: like the back of my hand, sir. . ."

AJ smiled at the young woman's spunk. "What happened on the night of February 22nd?"

"I couldn't sleep. ." Smiling, she sat up straighter in her chair and looked out towards the group of people in the courtroom. "I have the Navy in my blood, sir and I love being on a carrier. Sometimes, I just like to walk around the ship. . ." She got a dreamy look in her eyes, a look that signified how much she loved her job. "I am still in awe at how efficient a carrier can be."

"Did anything strange happen that night?"

Petty Officer Nichols looked over at Harm and then back to the Admiral. "Yes, sir. . when I got down to the JAG stateroom, the hatch was open and a civilian came out. The whole exchange between them was odd."

"Can you point out the civilian? Is she in the court today?" The Admiral turned around, looking out towards the group of people in the courtroom that day.

The Petty Officer looked out and immediately pointed towards Renee Peterson. "Her. . the blonde. . .in the first row, last seat." It was surprising that Renee was actually going to court, despite how 'traumatic' the whole experience seemed to be.

"Let it be put on record that Petty Officer Second Class Amanda J. Nichols has pointed out Ms. Renee Peterson. . ."

Judge Naughton made a note of that and nodded towards the Admiral. "Noted, please continue Admiral."

AJ turned to Petty Officer Nichols and walked slowly up to her with his arms folded across his chest. "You said that the exchange between the Commander and Ms. Peterson was odd, how so?"

"Yes, sir. . . as she went out, she turned and blew a kiss at him. . . then she moved towards me. I asked if I could help her and she said that everything was great."

"What happened next?" AJ turned towards Lindsey, walking in his direction and turning to block his view of Petty Officer Nichols.

"I glanced into the open hatch and found Commander Rabb with marks on his chest that were bleeding. . . I suggested he get a look at it and then was on my way."

"In your opinion, did it appear that Commander Rabb had raped the woman who had walked out of the room?"

Lindsey stood up from behind the prosecution's table. "Objection, calls for an opinion."

Naughton glanced at Lindsey and then back towards AJ. "He asked her opinion, overruled. . answer the question Petty Officer."

Petty Officer Nichols sighed deeply and glanced towards Harm. "In my opinion, sir. . . it seemed more like SHE had raped the Commander. . . I mean, I am not an expert, but if a man had attacked me, I wouldn't be blowing kisses at him."

The people in the courtroom laughed at her comment and was quickly controlled by Naughton's gavel.

"Thank you, Petty Officer. . . No further questions." AJ turned away from the bench and took his seat next to Harm. He patted the younger man on the back. Harm just couldn't help but chuckle. "Like I was going to say, Commander, you have quite a girlfriend." He whispered to Harm and then watched Lindsey.

Lindsey paced for a few moments trying to make the Petty Officer nervous, which was not working at all. The woman just stared at the Commander, slightly irritated by childish tactics. "When you took this walk around the ship, were you with someone?"

"No sir, I was just. . ."

But, Lindsey didn't give her a chance to finish. He inched towards her, his voice taking a tone used to break witnesses on the stand. "You were just going around waiting for something sensational to happen? Let me guess, you came here now because this is a popular case, do you want to be popular Petty Officer?"

AJ stood up quickly. "Your honor, prosecution is badgering the witness."

"Commander, do you have a question for this witness?" Naughton was quickly getting tired of Lindsey's tactics. "If you don't, please sit down and stop wasting our time." Naughton watched Lindsey try to formulate something, but apparently the wind was taken from his sails. "Commander Lindsey?"

Lindsey glared at the Petty Officer and shook his head. "Nothing further."

AJ stood up with a slight smile on his face, he realized what he was about to do was going to shake up everything in the Navy, but he didn't care. No politician was going to rail road any one of his people. "Defense calls Secretary of the Navy Nelson to the stand." There was a cumulative gasp which Naughton brought under control with his gavel.

Nelson walked in with a look that would kill anyone within seconds. He trudged up and headed towards the stand, waiting to be sworn in. He wouldn't have been there, but AJ's subpoena had arrived early that day and he couldn't do anything but oblige.

"I do not have this witness in my list, either, your honor." When Petty Officer Nichols was called in, Lindsey had protested, but the Judge had given AJ some leeway. This time, it wasn't just some woman on a ship, Nelson was a big wig. He glanced towards Nelson who looked back, hoping that his objection would be noted by the Judge.

"Your honor, this witness has some information that can clear my client and bring charges of perjury against Ms. Peterson."

Naughton didn't want to piss off the head honchos of the Navy and when an Admiral brought in someone like Nelson, it wasn't just for its entertainment value. "Swear the witness in. . . but, I am warning both defense and prosecution, no more theatrics."

It was evident from Harm's expression that he had no clue what was going on. What was the SECNAV doing testifying at his hearing? Was he on their side? Was he a character witness? Did he know something that no one else did? He glanced at his CO who was waiting for Lindsey to swear the SECNAV in.

Nelson wasn't a fool and though he wasn't the type to admit defeat, he knew why he was there and that AJ was going to tear him to pieces. Rather than let that happen, he decided to testify on his own accord. "Your honor, Admiral, I know why I am here, if you don't mind, I would like this to be quick."

Naughton turned to the SECNAV. "You are sure of this, sir?" There was a mixture of trepidation and intrigue on Naughton's appearance along with a chill in the air that spoke volumes. Somehow, it was know that by the end of the day SECNAV Nelson would be out of the job.

Nelson glanced out towards Harm, there was a look on his face that stated Harm was to blame for his predicament. Though he was positive that Rabb would never have done what Renee claimed, it was his involvement in all of this that had him on the stand. The whole courtroom remained silent while he chose his words. "Last week I received a call that there had been an accusation of rape against a JAG lawyer. . . And I was surprised to find it to be Commander Rabb."

AJ, who was standing behind the defense table, stepped out and stood a few feet away from Nelson. "Did you do any investigation to find out the truth?"

"To be honest, no, Admiral. I merely contacted Captain Ingles, skipper of the Patrick Henry and told him to go through with pushing for an Article 32. . ." His gruff voice hinted at no sign of remorse, he spoke as if it meant nothing to him.

"What exactly did you say to Captain Ingles?"

Nelson glanced out into the courtroom and maintained silent for a moment. It was then that Naughton persuaded Nelson to answer the question. "I told him that if he didn't make sure Rabb was found guilty, that I would have him driving a garbage barge up and down the Hudson river."

The normally silent courtroom was filled with gasps and muttered words. Though threats often occurred within the political arena, it was very different to hear someone with such power basically put himself on the chopping block.

"What did Captain Ingles tell you about the accusation?"

Lindsey chose this moment to stand and try to make an objection, but Nelson waved him off. "I want to answer this, eventually, I'd have to. . . Admiral, Captain Ingles told me he didn't believe Rabb was guilty, the Corpsman onboard did not find any physical evidence of rape, only the marks that Ms. Peterson had been beaten. Also, Petty Officer Nichols had come to him about the occurrence bellow decks. . . It all happened within a few hours, Ms. Peterson had gone to Captain Ingles over night. . . So I told him that the moment he ran into Rabb that he had to be put in custody."

"Why did you threaten Captain Ingles, Mr. Secretary?" AJ got the answer he already knew, the one Mac had told him just a night before. Nelson had basically threatened Ingles to push on through with Rabb's article 32.

But, there was one other thing that no one knew and if Nelson was going down, he wanted to make sure someone else did as well. "Ms. Peterson had contacted me the evening of the occurrence. . . She told me that if I did not make trouble for Rabb, she would portray the Navy in a negative light on her TV show. . . We do not need that sort of publicity and I can only imagine just how much trouble she would have made for us."

"So you, decided to make a deal that would probably cost a Naval Officer's career?"

Nelson chuckled slight and shook his head. "Admiral, you of all people should know what it is like, you risk one person to save others."

Brining his arms across his chest, AJ just stood there for a moment, realizing just how much of a politician the SECNAV was. "With all due respect Mr. Secretary, we don't leave our men behind. . . neither do we use one of our own as a scapegoat."

After the SECNAV was done, Renee went back to the stand, still pretending to be a wreck from what had happened. But, there was something different there an anger that AJ could see in her eyes that wasn't there last time. Not needing to beat around the bush, he went straight for the jugular. "Ms. Peterson, did Commander Rabb rape you?"

She motioned towards Harm, her composure changing completely to the look of a madwoman. Her hands swear gripping a handkerchief so tight that she began to bleed from her palms. She glanced towards the judge and then back at AJ. "You all are so stupid to not see the bigger picture with all of this. . . Commander Rabb and Colonel MacKenzie had a RELATIONSHIP. . . They had a relationship, he left her for ME."

"Ms. Peterson, answer the Admiral's question." Naughton said. His feelings for Renee and the show he liked so much had started fading through the course of the trial. Now, he sat there, disgusted with what evil people would do. "You're already in trouble for perjury, Ms. Peterson, I suggest you comply."

The doors of the courtroom opened and Harm felt something in he air that made him turn around. His eyes met with Mac's who shot him a small smile as she looked around, trying to find a seat. Lindsey had finally gotten around to calling her, but for all of his attempts, it appeared that the Admiral had already blown the case wide open. Renee caught the small exchange between Harm and Mac, her eyes shooting them both daggers.

"No, Commander Rabb didn't rape me." She spat out, still eyeing the silent exchange between the two officers.

Walked towards her, blocking her view of Harm. "How did you get those bruises on your body?"

"One of the members of the crew, I told them that if they didn't do it, they would suffer the same wrath as Harm." Renee scowled at the Admiral, she never did like the man or anyone else at JAG for that moment. Though, back then she would have tolerated them for Harm. Now, she loathed them. "You don't know what it's like to lose what you've always wanted."

"That's where you are wrong Ms. Peterson." AJ said, recalling how much it had destroyed him when his wife and him had separated, it had been one of the worst moments of his life. "I've loved and lost, what you did was despicable. . ."

"That's because you are just as brain washed as he was. . . YOU ALL ARE. . .You are all MAD!!" She started waving her hands wildly on the stand, a motion that had Naughton springing into action, asking the Marine guard to haul Renee out of the courtroom. But, he didn't notice Renee reach and grab for his side arm. As they were heading down the center aisle, she pulled it out and put one shot into the Marine. "I always said you would pay, Harmon Rabb!" She pointed the gun at him, poising to shoot.

AJ stood just a few feet away from Harm, his hands up in surrender. "Renee, put it down."

Mac glanced at Harm and before Renee could see their interaction, one hand reached for the weapon, the other made contact with the side of Renee's face. It took a second for Mac to bend Renee's arm backwards, taking the weapon from the woman before she could do any more damage. Renee foolishly struggled against Mac's grab, something that caused her to be swept from her feet and down to the ground with the Marine's knee against her back and the weapon pointed at her head. "Don't move." She keep a watch on Renee as AJ and Harm headed towards the Marine guard. "Is he going to be okay?" When she received an answer of the affirmative, Mac took a deep breath and said, "It's over Renee. . . it's over."

----  
Sorry! Don't have the willpower to jot down anything witty! ;)


	18. Present, Past & Future

YAY!! This sucker is working now!! Woo Hoo!!!

Well as one of my fav Swedish song says "Det är över nu" (It's over now ;)). :::Sets Renee loose so that the fans could have their revenge.:::

I think most people were appeased. Truthfully, I had another ending in mind for her, with a gun and Mac on the other side. Actually, it was going to end with Renee somehow taking Harm somewhere and Mac saving him, but, c'mon, that is just too comical. I just CAN NOT see Renee, being this whole criminal mastermind, gun wielding super bitch. Yes, she did take a gun in the previous chapter, but it was all based on anger. I just can't picture her pacing in front of Harm, holding a gun going "You and Mac will pay." She'd probably be too worried she'd break a nail. ;) I didn't kill her (uncharacteristic of me, I prefer the shoot first, shoot again and then see if there are any survivors to ask questions to, approach.) because death would be too good for her. Can you imagine her rotting in jail?! Although, Maidenpride apparently sees my way of fun medieval torture devices, alas, I couldn't borrow one on such short period of time, and well, writing about it would probably give this story a harsher rating. ;)

This is not an overly tissue-needy ending, at least I don't think so. My best friend, who I run all tearjerker parts through was crying but she cries over anything. ;P

I am working on an NC17 to be posted next up (obviously not here, if you want it e-mail me at - radiorox(at)bellsouth(dot)net or jackie(at)gesslegirls(dot)net - The story is basically Harm, Mac's bed and handcuffs, you figure out the rest. ;) I'll probably post it on Friday if I can finish it, seeing sa we are JAGless.

Enjoy and there will be NO sequel, this whole idea was very taxing. :) VERY taxing. ;)

Jackie

Thanks to: XBlueShadowX, LieutenantjgMegAustin , maidenpride21, froggy0319, Navy Babe, Hieros Gamos, Charmboy4, blonde-brain, Anaika Skywalker, Charmboy4, zeilfanaat, Nikki, jaggurl, achaon, cbw, Manda May, FoxyWombat, zeilfanaat, Jackia, DD2, xobabygurlxo, Kitty25, Lori, amanda cook, joanoa, G, Cristina, Lori, BrokenSkye, ami, iammusic, unknown, mandaj97, Jagfan724, ashnic6289, KittyX25, Deb, KittyX, mara-rabb,sothernqt, Jenny, crazyfan, sohard, jtbwriter& Stace, for all the feedback. :) You lurkers - :::points::: you too. ;)

PART 18 – Present, Past & Future

0500 ZULU

Burnett Residence

LaJolla, California

There was something serene about watching her 'little boy' being with his girlfriend the same way Harm Sr. was with her. Throughout the years, despite the love and honor that Trish gave Frank, her first love was always in her heart. It was that much difficult that her son looked so much like him, she'd learned to deal with it and only prayed that he wouldn't suffer a similar fate. "I know what you are thinking." Her husband called from behind as he joined her on the terrace that overlooked the beach. His arms came around her waist as he rested his head on her shoulder. "And you are right, you know?"

Trish chuckled, Frank had been wonderful with her and Harm from the time they met. Despite all of the times Harm the terror would try to break them up. "Mmmm, what am I thinking?"

Frank glanced out to where Harm and Mac were laying on the sand, both looking up to the stars. Occasionally, their laughter would be carried in the wind where Trish and Frank could hear them. "You are thinking that if he doesn't propose you are going to kill him."

"Well, maybe not kill him, but I will nag him." She turned in her husband's arms and leaned in for a kiss. "I like her for him. . . they seem right together."

"You've always thought so. . . but what I don't get was why you were tolerant of that other gal."

Trish turned again smiling knowingly, "Because I believed that eventually he'd wise up and get together with Mac." She turned back to her husband and smiled shyly. "I did give him the ring his father gave me. . ."

Frank chuckled, ever since the word "Mac" was coming up at all conversations with Harm, Trish had been polishing that ring, hoping that one day her son would wise up. "C'mon, hon. . . let's leave the kids alone."

The Admiral had secured a few days for Harm and Mac to head off and "recuperate" as he had called it. The two didn't bother objecting, in truth, they needed the time to figure out their place in each others lives, as well as a little down time from the whole mess with Renee. Though the new SECNAV had complained about time off, AJ had persuaded him that it would be an optimum way to get in the good graces of other political figures. The former SECNAV was removed from office the same day he had testified at Harm's trial and would more than likely be seeing some trial time of his own. Besides him trying to cover up what had happened with Harm, his yeoman came forth with a vast amount information guaranteed to keep Nelson out of everyone's hair forever.

Renee too was to have her own trial and was guaranteed to serve plenty of time behind bars at a women's facility specializing in prisoners with a mental condition. As for the marks on her body that was part of the evidence of her attack, she had threatened one of the crew members into beating her to make it look more 'realistic.' 'ZULU' would go back on the air, but with a different producer who was more interested in law and dragging out the romance between his two leads rather than make the show all about them. Mac's diary was returned to her as it was one of the things found in Renee's possession they day she tried to shoot Harm.

"Hmmmm." Mac sighed happily and she had a reason to be happy, she was in a tropical paradise with the man that she loved, things just couldn't get better. "I am never going back to DC."

Harm turned to his side, propping elbow up and placing his head in his hand. "Yep, I am sure the Admiral will just love that. 'Sir, the Colonel and I have decided to go UA.' Please pass our workload to other JAG officers, thank you. . . click."

"Somehow your version looses all of its appeal." She brought her hand up, placing it on his chest in order to push him down on the sheet they were laying on. Before Harm could retaliate, Mac straddled his waist and pinned his arms to the ground. "Got you, Commander."

"You couldn't be more right about that, Colonel." Harm rasped against Mac's lips who placed a searing kiss on his own. "But," He broke apart the kiss and even in the dark, she could see his eyes take on a serious look. "I was thinking of making this a more permanent thing." He fished inside his pocket and pulled out a red velvet box. Harm's eyes didn't leave Mac as he was mesmerized by the expression on her face. In a way, he never liked proposals, not that he had proposed before, but from what he'd heard and what he'd seen on TV, the time a woman saw a small red box, they knew what was coming up and he preferred to have Mac surprised from the beginning. Mac's mouth was a perfect 'o' as Harm slowly opened up the box. "I know we have our moments, I know we'll have our fights, but what I know the most is that no matter what happens, we always wind up together. Though I can't take back hurtful words from the past and I can't promise you the world, I can promise you that I will love, honor and cherish you for the rest of my life and even in death. . . So, Sarah MacKenzie, will you be my wife?"

Mac heard clearly each and everyone of his words and she could do nothing but gaze at one of the most beautiful rings she had seen. The band seemed to have an old world look about it, but the diamonds (three to be exact: one large diamond sat in the middle between two small, princess cut ones.) were newly set into the ring. The moonlight captured the diamonds which made them gleam like something out of a fairytale.

To Harm it felt like ages (though it was only about 20 seconds) since he'd popped the question, Mac still hadn't answered. He didn't realize he was holding his breath until a light headed feeling over took him. "Oh Harm!" Mac finally said as she leaned down to kiss him. "It's so beautiful." He slipped the ring on her, happy that it fit like a dream, (of course it did, he'd jacked her Marine corps ring in order to have the engagement ring fitted.)

"I thought a solitaire was boring, but this one. . . .it signifies our past, present and future." Mac was still straddling his waist with her eyes fixated on how the ring looked on her finger. It was a strange feeling knowing that a year prior she was wearing another man's ring. It was even odder that she didn't feel this sense of elation and pride when it came to that other man, but now, she was on top of the world. "Oh! There's something else." He fished through his other pocket and pulled out a square shaped blue velvet box. Inside lay his goldwings. "Before we left Captain Ingles contacted me to head on back to the Henry so I could finish my quals." He took a breath, this was going to be the most difficult decision he would make in his life, but he had to do it and make a full commitment to Mac. "I am not going to do it anymore."

Fly was Harm's life, no one understood that more than Mac did. She couldn't understand why he would give that up for anything in the world. It was bad enough that it was taken away abruptly, quals and the occasional investigations was all the flying time he had left now. "Why?"

"My father made my mother a widow and although flying is in my blood and it's something I love. . . I love you more, Sarah. . . and I refuse to make you have to wonder. . ." She rolled off of him then and sat cross legged right next to him. Harm sat up as well, turning so that he could face her. "I refuse to allow you to go through what mom and I went through, it isn't fair, so I am ending it now."

"Harm, but you love to fly. . . You don't have to give up something you love so much for me. . . I understand why you have to fly and I accept it."

"Mac, I love you more than flying.. . . besides I have Sarah, we can always take her up. She's not supersonic, but it's still a rush." He grinned slightly, the pain of grounding himself was less than the Navy doing it, but he felt it was the right thing.

But, Mac didn't see it that way, she refused to have him make such a sacrifice for her. She placed the velvet box on Harm's leg and shook her head. "No, I don't want these."

Now Harm was really confused. How many times had Mac gone around with that worried expression knowing he was going to fly? After their dip in the Atlantic, he was sure she'd want him to quit. "I don't understand. . .I thought you'd be happy."

"I am happy, but this is too much Harm. . .I can't ask you to give up flying for me."

"It's not just for you, it's for us. . .for the baby we're eventually going to have." His grin went up in wattage, thoughts of how much fun it was going to be for them to create a life were passing through his head.

A baby, God did she want to have a baby and with Harm as the father, Mac was almost needing to pinch herself. "I don't want you to give it up." She waved off any rebuttal from him and attempted to explain. "No, Harm. . . I fell in love with a pilot turned lawyer. . . and I refuse to take away something he treasures so much just because of my worries. . . I know it's dangerous and I know you can't promise me to come back home . . ."

"No, I can't, which is why I want to do this." He interrupted.

At that moment, Mac felt completely wanted and loved. The man she was with was willing to give up a piece of who he was in order to be with her. Still, she couldn't concede to what he was trying to give up. "As long as you promise to do your best to get Home, sailor. . . and as long as you call me when you are doing quals, it'll be alright. . . I know what you are trying to do, but I won't let you. . .you love flying, you are good at it, you look sexy as hell in flight gear. . ." She chuckled at the shocked expression, but since the first time she saw him all geared up, Sarah MacKenzie couldn't deny that he was one of the hottest fliers in the world. "I've been selfish for too long over what I want and how I want it. . ." She placed a hand on his cheek and glanced directly into his eyes. "Just the fact that you would give up your wings to make me happy. . . it's enough, it's more than enough. And I love you for it."

Harm sighed as his famous grin tugged at the sides of his mouth. "Okay, but if ever you want me to stop. . .I will."

Mac held her hand up to him and they shook on it. "Deal." Leaning forward, she whispered before kissing him. "Where were we?"

But, Harm placed a finger on her lips, "You never answered my first question. . .Will you marry me?"

Mac chuckled. Two lawyers. Two of the best lawyers and still the words between them seemed to falter. Oh well, so was their relationship. "Do you really need to hear the words?" Harm nodded and followed it up with a sad, puppy dog look that could melt anyone's heart. Of course, when it came to the subject of Harmon Rabb, Mac was very biased. "Well, then. . .YES, Harmon Rabb Jr. . . YES, I'll marry you." There was a twinkle in Mac's eye as they leaned forward and shared another kiss, which lead to another kiss, which lead to. . . well, you get the picture. And that evening, under the protection of the stars and the moon, the future began for Harm and Mac.

THE END. ;)


End file.
